Poor Quality Listening

Authentic Counselling Training

Poor Quality Listening

[Under construction: 23 August 2004]

These documents have taken me years of my own, unpaid time to perfect. Please feel free to make use of them for solely personal purposes. However, should you wish to use them for teaching, training, commercial or other purposes, you are required to ask me first.

The Circumstances of Poor Quality Listening

Poor quality listening is the norm in British society. Social interaction is rarely about careful listening and Helpers who use counselling skills in a counselling interview can feel anxious about or threatened by some aspect of the circumstances in which they find themselves. Such feelings may result in poor quality listening, the helper not only failing to listen accurately, but also responding in such a way as to block communication. The client's feelings are unlikely to be adequately addressed.

Examples of what may cause anxiety include:

Aspects of interview management e.g. the initial interview, handling silences in interviews, not knowing how to approach a problem presented by a client, a client in crisis.
Characteristics of a client e.g. a client from a social class or ethnic background which differs from that of the counsellor, the client smells, the client is on strong medication.
Topic areas e.g. the helper has experienced a situation similar to that of the client, sexual matters.
The expression of emotions e.g. anger, grief, joy, or the intense expression of an emotion.

For each of the following potential clients, imagine that, through a friend/colleague, they have sought you out because they have heard that you are a good listener. You have never met them before, nor discussed them with your friend/colleague. You have no idea why they want to see you, and speculation about the reason will not help.

Write down the words which spring instantly to mind on reading in turn the description of each person. With a partner/partners, discuss in what ways your feelings and reactions to each of these people might help or hinder the helping process

George is a 53 years old working-class man from London. He dresses shabbily, smells of alcohol, swears a lot and boasts that he never pays tax on his earnings. He looks ungroomed, unshaven and haggard, and appears to be very depressed.
Celia is a trim and smart 37 years old single woman. She speaks in an accent that reminds people of the Queen. She continuously refers to herself as "one". Her emotions appear to be under a tight rein, and she says that she cannot stand uncertainty in her life.
Lionel is an attractive 27 years old gay man who leads a life of promiscuous sex based on finding partners in gay clubs. Some months ago he attempted suicide when the older man with whom he had been living for four years ended their relationship.
Diana is an attractive 32 years old married woman with three young children. She appears very anxious, and close to tears. Two years ago, tests revealed that she has multiple sclerosis. Her health has been deteriorating rapidly, and she is now having trouble both seeing and walking.
Trevor is an 18 years old skinhead, with a swastika tattooed on his left hand, and a death's head on his right. He has been in trouble with the police for attacking West Indian shopkeepers. Untroubled about any suffering and pain he may have caused, he feels justified in hurting them in any way he can. He firmly believes that all black people are inferior beings.
Doreen is 67 years old, and lives on her own having been widowed ten years ago. She used to be well-liked, but now tends to be shunned by her neighbours partly because she wanders around at odd hours in her slippers muttering to herself, and partly because it can be very difficult to follow what she is talking about.
Rick is 24 years old, has an earring in his left ear, is generally unshaven, and sometimes wears a pony-tail. He has been on the dole since completing his qualification in engineering, blaming the government for his unemployment. He spends half the day in bed, and most evenings in bars. He says he wants a job, but does nothing to find one.
Charles is 45 years old, trim, smart, clean-shaven and originally from New York. He works as an advertising executive in a well-reputed firm. He considers the unemployed idle and deserving of little help. He got a job on leaving school and says the unemployed have only themselves to blame. He resents paying his taxes for the benefit of "scroungers, spongers and wasters".
Rachel is 14 years old, and dresses expensively in fashionable designer clothes. The only child of professional, non-smoking middle-class parents, she smokes a lot and regularly skips school. When alone in the house, which is quite often, she raids the drinks cabinet. She has a boyfriend (17) with whom she regularly has sex. At a recent party, she introduced her boyfriend to cannabis, which she considers no more harmful than alcohol, and she herself tried ecstasy.
James is 42 years old, tall, bearded and a little overweight. A college lecturer for the past fifteen years, he teaches gestalt counselling, transactional analysis and hypnotherapy. He has been in therapy himself off an on for over twenty years. He knows almost everyone around the region involved with counselling.

What other situations, emotions, client characteristics and topic areas might interfere with the quality of your listening?

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Peter Hughes: introduction

p.g.h@btinternet.com