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We have been to many parts of the world over the past ten years and have been on a variety of tours by coach and train. My wife and I had not, however, been on a cruise and generally felt this was not the kind of holiday we would enjoy. There would not be enough activity and we would get bored by days at sea. We would not like the dressing-up for dinner and the formal occasions. But when we decided it was time to visit South America, a cruise shown in a television programme went to the countries we would like to see, so we cast aside our doubts and made up our minds to give it a try.

We flew to Santiago, Chile, having exchanged e-mails with Sally Branston, whose article on Chile appeared in Issue 31. She told us that the furore over General Pinochet had died down and Britons were safe provided they kept a low profile. We had two very enjoyable days there staying in a hotel opposite the Presidential Palace, where we saw a colourful changing-of-the-guard ceremony complete with cavalry and military band. We were amused that stray dogs barked at the horses and howled at the music but nobody gave them any attention. We travelled on the Metro, which was inexpensive and efficient, but did not try the buses.

We were taken by coach to Valparaiso where we boarded the Royal Princess, a P&O cruise ship. Although registered in London and flying the Union flag, it caters for an American clientele. Of the 1200 passengers nearly 1000 were American and only about 120 were British, attended by a crew of 700. Everything on board was priced in US$ and very expensive. Our cabin was in the mid-price range and comfortable if not luxurious. We were allocated a dining table with six Americans and soon made friends. One couple came from Albuquerque, New Mexico, where we had already planned to go in the autumn. The wife shared a birthday with my wife and our daughters also shared a birthday, so this cemented the relationship.

The food was excellent and there was plenty of it, all free after paying for the cruise. A restaurant separate from the dining room was open 24 hours a day serving breakfasts and light meals, also free. The entertainment on board was first-class. with a team of eleven versatile young men and women putting on a variety of song-and-dance shows every second night. I felt sure I would see a false step or hear a wrong note, but I did not. There were talks on the countries we were visiting which were so good that we attended every one. There was a good lending library. Four times round the promenade deck was one mile, so there was the opportunity to walk while looking at the scenery.

The ship sailed down the Chilean coast and anchored at Puerto Montt where we went ashore for a coach tour of the locality. For some reason hard to understand and never fully explained, a smaller cruise ship from another line sailed an identical course at the same time. This meant that the resources at each stop were overloaded. Then we sailed into the fjord region where there are no roads and all transport is by water. We stopped for several hours by the Pius IX glacier where we watched intently for icebergs to calve, with some success. The ship docked at Punta Arenas and we again went ashore for a tour. Then through the Beagle Canal with its several glaciers and many islands before docking at Ushuaia in Tierra del Fuego, which claims to be the southernmost town in the world.

The next morning at 7am we were off to Cape Horn in gale-force winds under a leaden sky. We cruised west then east so that passengers had plenty of opportunity to take pictures. Then it was off to the Falklands. We were advised not to wear anything obviously from Argentina (e,g. a Ushuaia tee shirt) in the Falklands, nor anything labelled Falklands in Argentina. While the two nations are now officially "friendly" the people have not resolved all their differences, and Argentinian maps show the Falklands as the Malvinas, owned by Argentina.

The total population of the Falkland Islands is a little over 2000 and with the passengers and crew of two cruise ships ashore at the same time the number of people in Port Stanley was more than doubled for the day. At Stanley we were met by a friend, who drove us to see a penguin colony with hundreds of sea birds of many varieties. Our journey to and from the wildlife beach went past several large areas with warning signs about uncleared mines. We visited the local museum and the cathedral and saw the famous whalebone arch. Our friend is a director of the Falkland Islands Company, who are responsible for all the trading to and from the islands and own land, warehouses, shops and houses there. We saw a supply ship arrive from Britain after a 30-day journey.

Our next stop was intended to be Puerto Madryn, originally a Welsh community on the east coast of Argentina, but strong winds prevented us from docking there. We waited a few hours then continued on our way. The ship sailed into Montevideo and we went ashore to look at the city. This is where the little nightmare occurred. On our way back to the ship we were walking in the port area when my pocket was picked and my wallet taken. There was only US$43 in cash, not too great a loss, but it also contained my credit card and bank card. I went to the Purser's office on board and he put through a phone call to the States, where I was able to cancel both cards. It was arranged that an emergency credit card would be sent from USA within four days.

The next day we docked at Buenos Aires where the cruise ended. We had hotel accommodation booked in Buenos Aires and at Puerto Iguazu but it had not been paid for. Fortunately we already had tickets for the flight to Iguazu. Without a credit card and not being sure that it would arrive in four days we had to conserve our cash and travellers cheques to pay the hotel bills. We ate hearty breakfasts and then had nothing until the next morning. The Iguazu Falls are the most spectacular we have ever seen. The River Iguazu is 2.5 miles wide and creates 275 waterfalls as it tips into a 260ft gorge. Think of Niagara and Victoria Falls combined, then add some. We stayed on the Argentina side and took a bus (couldn't afford a taxi) into Brazil along with a large number of backpackers. Iguazu Falls is certainly a place which deserves a return visit.

Back in Buenos Aires, the emergency card had arrived but I had great difficulty getting through to the States to verify it. With the valuable help of a hotel receptionist (who wanted the bill to be paid!) I made contact and at last we were able to go out for a meal and not have to count every peso. We had a couple of days in this most exciting and vibrant city. We saw tango dancing and living statues in the pedestrian malls and heard amateur bands playing local music. We visited the cathedral and the cemetery where Eva Peron is buried, where thousands of tourists throng round each day. We travelled on the Metro which, like in Santiago, was good value, clean and fast. We were able to use taxis again and (to our surprise, as we had been told otherwise) found them inexpensive and reliable. No tip is expected so the price quoted or displayed is what you pay.

We flew home feeling what a dream holiday it had been, with the nightmare of the stolen wallet almost forgotten. We had visited another continent and added five more countries to our tally.

First published in VISA issue 33 (summer 1999).