A Satyr on the unjust Civilians or a true narrative of ye unjust proceedings in Landaffe Court (1727)

Civilians Civill villains are
and doteing fools are Doctors
Notorious Rogues are Notaries
and prateing Knaves are Proctors.
In paths untrod I sing in mournfull Lays
The Church oppressed in these wicked days
and those who in this villany are Actors
Bishops, Chancellors, Regrs & Proctors
all you yt love ye Ancient Civill Law
and serve the Church in both respect & Awe
I'll tell a Story yt will make you laugh
How the Church is governed in Landaff
A Court is kept there undr B'pp CLAVERING
A man whose mind I'm sure is allways wavring
This Dcor: he is but a Bishop new
his Chancellors Name they say is Wm BEAW
this man had Courage when he acted there
but forced he was to leave ye Court & Shire
some say for money that to him was lent
for which ye Countrey many a tear have spent
Poor man tis pity he was sent away
For in his absence things are gone astray
when he was here wee had some Justice done
but those behind are Traytors evry one
all that they practice fill'd wth treachery
malice, Extortion, partiality, & Bribery
The man reprsents ye Chancellors place
Is not as much a man as Silly Ass
I'm sorry yt a Judge is such a toole
Just as much knave as he is a foole
A man who never knew reason or Law
the dullest preist yt e're wth eyes you saw
If you'l talk of some one Judge beside him
He'l certainly assign ye Cause ad Idem
I'll speak no more of this for fear he should
Pr'tend to doe what he ne're knew or could
Perhaps he'll send one of his Citac'ons
and sue me in a Cause of Defamac'on
I'll keep out of his Clutches if I can
& tell my Story to a wiser man
Let him pronounce his Excomunicac'on
And be as drunk as if he own'd the Nation
I cannot help it let who will absolve him
I'll leave him now 'tis vain for to involve him
The Register of this Court is very well
Known by ye Name of Daniell GELL
an honest man but 'tis a thousand pity
the Devill sh'd be his Deputy
A saint you'd think him when he first appears
But if you doe remember a few years
there was a matter given him for a portion
a very fine Indictmt for Extortion
I don't Intend to do unto him Injury
nor say yt he hath er'e comitted Perjury
if others say I can noways them hinder
I'll stop my pen & allways save my tinder
as for ye Proctors they are now no holier
'tis Like to Like ye Devill to ye Collier
If there is one honester by me misus'd
I humbly begyt I sh'd be excus'd
Because I thik he often stays att home
and to ye Court doth very seldom come
a modest peasant who was bred
In Landaffe City as 't was say'd
one day approached nigh ye Court
to hear them prate & have some sport
Er'e he came there they spy'd him comeing
and att ye sight they fell to mumming
Quoth one who thought himself most wise
because of late he gott a prise
being favoured by a thing called fate
tho' his desert was a knock in's pate
If that this Youngster come among us
I am afraid yt he will wrong us
ffor when we pass an Unjust Sentence
he'll surely make us shew repentence
I humbly beg you master Surrogate
not to Suffer this little Runagate
to be admitted here unto us
least hearing our villany he doth undo us
wth that they plac'd two lusty fellows
as bigg as er'e blew Vulcans bellows
to stand aside & keep ye door
whilst they had time to oppress ye poor
this is their practice yt doth make
the hearts of honest men to ake
to see a Court oppres'd with Villains
worse than Samaria was wth Syrians
God give unto all Just men grace
to avoid both them & all their Race.