10

A Suitcase of Luperisms

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'The accuracy of a quoted aphorism is inversely proportional to the fame of the attributed author.'
Tulse Luper on aphorisms.

'I'm a polygot, a polymath. I'm often accused of anal retentiveness.'
Tulse Luper on Tulse Luper.

'Truth 24 frames a second'
Uttered by Tulse after seeing his first film at the age of 5.

'Bugger Bognor!'
Shouted by Tulse at a party for VUE victims.

'But the body which farts also kisses'
Tulse's only comment after seeing an exhibition of paintings by Francis Bacon.

'My film is not a slice of life. It is not like something by Ken Loach'.
An irritated Tulse replies to a question put to him by a critic at the premiére
of 'Vertical Features'.

'This film invents so much fiction about my person that it belongs in the 'Romance' section of the BFI's film catalogue.'
Tulse Luper on 'Vertical Features Remake'.

'Big book, big bore'.
On reading the autobiography of Aad van Hoyten.

'To Aad a pomegranate is merely an exotic fruit'
On the fact that a pomegranate is merely an exotic fruit to Aad van Hoyten.

'A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one'.
Tulse on 'A Walk Through H'.

'Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learnt to walk.'
Tulse on 'A Walk Through H'.

'One should always be a little improbable.'
Tulse on 'Act of God', a documentary about lightning.

'Fish die belly-upward and rise to the surface; it is their way of falling.'
Tulse after too much wine.

'Habit is everything - even in love.'
Tulse to the mother of Cissie Colpitts.

'The future is a mirror without any glass in it. In heaven an angel is nobody in particular'.
Tulse on the future and on angels.

'A book with a beginning, a middle and an end, but not necessarily in that order.'
Remarked after reading The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon.

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Peter Greenaway

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