In the land of missing Zippo
And broken cigarettes
I went with vague instructions
In search of your Lillets
Past secret bars of chocolate
And leaflets from the vets
Reminding you the time was due
To vaccinate your pets

In kingdoms of your handbag
Mysterious and old
Through wetlands of your tissues
From when you had a cold
Braved broken biscuit landslides
And Irish fifty pees
And roamed the make-up mountains
Prospecting for your keys

Down valleys of Guarana packs
Consumed when you were tired
I sledged upon your phone card
Which lon ago expired
In forests of your hairbrush
Where humans feared to go
I found a hidden treasure
A tiny bit of blow

Through caverns of your knickers
Across the cough sweet hills
Traversing cans of hairspray
And old cystitis pills
I found a contraceptive
In half an old cheese roll
Marooned inside your handbag
The tardis of your soul 

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