And the days dwindle down.....

.......................................................SEPTEMBER NEWSLETTER

"The summer was over and the woman had gone.. He threw some cold water over his face, brushed his hair, found his keys, checked his change and went down the road to buy a cup of coffee. There was work to be done..."

The Golden Afternoon 2009:is at Colchester Arts Centre on Sunday 20th September. It runs from about 1.30 p.m. (doors open) to about 5.30 p.m.As well as "The shattered loveliness that was once Sir Nartin Mule" will be stunning new Colchester act, Rev Matt Simpkins as special guest. And Wivenhoe's First Lady of Analogue: Fiona Harmon with bandmate, Dashing Young Nick Munt.
There will be tea, there will be cakes. There will be a bar. There will be music. Frankly dahlings, you'd be maird to miss it.

Recordular News.

A new four-track download is going up on the site soon. "EP2" contains some of my best new songs for ages. You'll love it, you tarts.
We'll be selling CD copies of this at The Golden Afternoon
There will be third four-track download going up on the site during autumn and for the first time Live In Japan will soon be available too.
A new album with Cherry Red has been agreed upon. The problem is that I don't have time at the moment, to do it. This is because a massive public poetry project for my local area is happening. It's a big (2 or 3 month) job and I've won the contract.
All I can say at present is that it concerns trains, stations, poetry, art and history and I'm chuffed to little mintballs to have been commissioned to do it. There'll be news about this on the blog over the next few weeks
Apart from my work for The East Anglian Daily Times and for the Sunday Express
this project will be taking over my life, from next week.

Bookular News :

My new book Psycle Geography is now in second draft and being corrected. I expect to have it out by mid November. See you at the Golden Afternoon or around this site.

I won't be very far away. Merry autumn, readers!

Is it a Luger?
.........................Is it a Beretta?
..........................................................No!

It's... THE AUGUST NEWSLETTER.

Yowza, yowza, yowza... Fist up...sorry, that should have read first up...
At last, work starts on the new Cherry Red album this autumn. I've been quietly writing songs for it since January and have enough to be going on with and more in the pipleline. I'll be working with Carl Seager again, new studio, same methods. I'm really looking forward to it. No titles yet. Looking at an early spring release.

As if that weren't enough, the Online Shop is now ready with our first downloads. Four brand spunking new tracks demoed with guitar and voice round at Fiona The Fair Maid of Wivenhoe's analogue studio. There are four more ready for mixing.
At the moment the tracks come as a sort of downloadable e.p. Called A Rogue Shower. At £2.50 we're robbing ourselves.
The Online Shop incidentally has been a success and we're running out of old stock gradually. We're out of Tin Boxes, Live in Japans, and Rainbow Sets. We still have plenty of other stuff but hurry,hurry, hurry! Everything must go.

I know there have been false alarms before, but there's been a lot of talk lately about re-releasing some of those original Cleaners from Venus tapes. I'm sure it's going to happen before long. I've been having some interesting correspondence with people in the States, whom I believe are serious about it.

THE GOLDEN AFTERNOON is a scant two months away now and happens at Colchester Arts Centre on Sunday 20th September. Special guest is Rev Matt Simpkins who's brilliant. You'll see. If you want to book accomo in Wivenhoe, get in and do it now. Google Wivenhoe Encyclopedia for a list of ginchy places to stay.

Health News
August being about in now, I look forward to a nice month of no pollen count and some nice cool starry evenings, because from the end of May through to late July I become allergic to the whole country and I've had my usual permanent malaise.
I'll be getting on with my new book Psycle-Geography which was late but is now catching up a bit. For the first time in ages I have no gigs, apart from a few local ones playing with my favourite local reprobates, Hurricane and of course, Scarpenter's News on 15 th August outside the Rose and Crown (if not hacking with rain). It should be disgraceful. Book now to ensure disappointment.

I currently have the daunting prospect of painting myself with a crude emulsion which my doctor gave me for allergies. It's worked and I've now acquired several. Meanwhile my elderly but frankly, demanding secretary Miss Colette Shapiro, who is due back from Acapulco in the next few days will wonder why I'm not wearing the short-sleeved safari suit, she knitted for me out of marram grass (scratchy as hell but hell, at least it looks stupid), This was after our weekend in Northumberland, where I foolishly may have mentioned something about matrimony. Look it's my problem, not yours.

I know I haven't been doing the blog again. I've spent my free time lying down in the attic, resting and reading these rather racy 18th century books. I don't know why. After a few minutes they make my trousers look like a badly thought-out campsite.

That's it.

Pictures"Top French totty of a certain age: No 27. Miou-miou" and "Anxious Newell fans awaiting download news."

June Newsletter

It's raining heavily and it remains unusually chilly for the time of year. It must be midsummer in England. Indeed, so cold was it last week, that I had to take a couple of young secretaries into the airing cupboard in case ... hang on a minute, did I say secretaries? Sorry that should have read baby Jackdaws. Well, anyway it's raining now, which suits me because it's what I call good writing weather.

Have we got news for you?
Well yes. The Online Shop. It's only taken us (when I say us, I mean the redoubtable Paul Wilkinson of course) four months longer than we thought but it's up and running now. Orders have trickled in and many of you report receiving the CDs and other things quite safely. This says more about the efficiency of the world's postal services than it does about us. At the moment we're mostly selling the old stock from JarMusic. But we're also exploring the possibility of downloads. I don't know how long this will all take, but it's a possible next stage. Or maybe you'd like Cleaners from Venus / G.L.E. T shirts? Do mail in and tell us the kind of thing which might be popular and we'll try and figure out how we can do it.

I am sorry the Blog's been so slack lately. Much of the work I do is kind of invisible to you at the moment but there's been a lot of it. I now find that I'm about two-thirds way into my next book, for instance. Working title is Psycle-Geography and it will be out in mid autumn I guess. It's, yes, a psycho geography of the area where I live. A kind of continuation of Prospect of Wivenhoe but much wider ranging. And when I've done that, next up of the board will be This Little Ziggy Part Two (not its actual title) Which will cover years 1975 to 1990.

GIGS
The nearest big one will be a lunchtime reading at Croydon Fairfield Halls on Tues 23rd June I'm also performer and rolling compere at the Kelvedon Free Festival in Essex on 11th July The seventh annual GOLDEN AFTERNOON 2009 has been set for Sunday 20th September. At Colchester Arts Centre as usual. Cakes tea and er..me. More news on this later.

RECORDS
I'll be talking to those folk at Cherry Red soon. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to finish five of the nine demoes of new songs I recorded with Fiona of Hobo Chang, who is now busy on her own album. So I'm in a queueing system.. There'll be someone with me in a minute and thank you for my patience, I value my custom.
RADIO. The BBC Radio 4 programme which I took part in, A Good Rogering..sorry, that should have read A Good Read will be broadcast on BBC R4 at 4.30 p.m. On 16th June and again at 11.00pm on 19th June. I reckon it'll probably be quite lively. Fellow guests are Kate Mosse and Victoria Hislop.

Have a good summer, keep those ideas coming in and I'll be among you taking notes.

Bring back Betty Boothroyd. Plus the lovely Diana Dors.

May Flies

That's pretty much all the gigs done for early spring. So it's time to put on that apron
get the feather duster and the spraycan of Mr Sheen out and shimmy up the stairs to the attic to find out why Mrs Ledbury is making those peculiar gurgling noises. I've got a Roger Whittaker track playing on the stereo at the moment. No idea why but it does sound quite nice.
So what's happening then. Well, at the moment, everything and not much. The days are filled with writing stuff: articles, pieces and poems. But the gigs are over, apart from a handful of local ones and the Wiv May Fair on 25th of this month.

I'm recording an edition of A Good Read for BBC R4 soon,. Transmission date will be announced as soon as they tell me what it is. No recording activity resuming yet but I'm not worried about this because there's a good little collection of songs building up.You may have missed the fact that The Damned have had a new album out this past few months.Called So Who's Paranoid? It received a great review in The Guardian of all places. A songwriter not far from here c-wrote the opening track A Nation Fit For Heroes with Capt Sensible. The Damned are currently out touring by the way. Very good too.

Next month incidentally ( June 23rd) , I'm doing a daytime poetry reading at Croydon Fairfield Halls. This is where Captain and Rat began their illustrious careers cleaning toilets, before going on to help invent punk rock.
The online shop? I know I know. But it is coming, alright? And soon. We're just trying to figure out how the Paypal button works and if Elsie's sitting on that bike for much longer I'm going to have to take her round a cushion and a cup of tea.

This, you may also have missed. A few weeks back, Prof Germaine Greer, top-notch academic and all-round good old girl, suggested that the Poet Laureateship should be subdivided into regions and that a poet not far from here, should be Laureate for Essex. This caused a bit of a flurry in various parts I can tell you and the guards ran scurrying for the bunkers. The national laureateship, though, has gone to my learned colleague, the cherishable Carol Ann Duffy, whom I caught up with again at the St Andrews poetry festival a few weeks ago. I bet Simon Armitage is breathing a sigh of relief. Good luck to her. Interesting times...and better times coming, I reckon. Now can we all get on with our work, please?

Other than that, I'm trying to get on with writing the book(s) and tracks which will probably all surface at the same time in coming months and months. I know the blog's been quiet and only Joe and Jim are keeping the massage board alive at the moment but stuff is actually going on here behind the scenes. Periods like this are to be enjoyed - for me at least -. So the main news is that I now have the time to make and do all the things I haven't been able to do for months. Merry sheep.

images this month here are by Martin by Neil Holden who has a forthcoming exxhibition soon and the lovely Susannah York
(can you tell which is which?)

April Glowers

Okay so I've been away for a while, but can't I trust you to look after anything when I'm gone? The message board looks like a bomb's hit it. The Blog hasn't been swept and dusted in nearly a month and someone's spilt a carton of milk all over the homepage. Paul and I will are getting the online shop ready even as I squeak. The boards are just about to come down in the front, and Paul's busy putting the stock out on the shelves. Elsie, the girl on the bicycle is sat by the co mputer just waiting for those first orders, so that she can cycle over and tell me what to send and I'm stocking up on sticky-tape and cardboard, ready to go.

GIGS SOON:
Poetry gigs coming up in
19th April ...Southend, Sundown, The Royal Hotel, I High Street
20th April...Norwich Arts Centre NR24PG
21st April...Speakeasy, The Glass Onion, Peterborough PE12QB
22nd April...Maltings Arts Centre, St Albans, AL13HL
23rd April...Colchester Arts Centre CO1 1NF

GIGS SOONER:
4th April...The Haywain, Great Bromley. This is a gig with Hurricane, the acoustic three-pice whom I play bass for. I might be doing a few guitar numbers. I'll have to ask Tai Chi Dave and Alec, my partners in grime. Lots of early Dylan covers. Hurricane originally set out to be the house-band at the Greyhound. What happened though is that other landlords from other pubs see us and invite us round to their pubs. So far we've done The Park, The Rose and Crown and now there's rumour of a gig at the Courthouse near Elmstead Market soon. Can it be long before we play Alresford? And that, matey-boy, is a tour in our language, so stop that laughing, you in the cheap seats.

RECORDULAR MATTERS:There has been a discernible movement in this direction. I'm awaiting news from Cherry Red. Now that most of my stuff in downloadable, they want more. So do we.
I just want to get back in the studio. News soon, hopefully.

BOOKS: Yeah , yeah I know. But with all this other stuff and writing deadlines, when do I get a chance to settle down to some writing? Right now, that's when. I'll be in my study if anyone wants me. Or I'll be painting and cleaning. Or drinking. Or sleeping. Good luck to yerz all. This is Johnny Rhythm.

LATE WINTER NEWELLSFETTER 2009

And let's hope it really is late winter too. This is one of the longest winters I can remember and I'm sick of wearing this long fusty dress and wellies...they chafe.

Fist things first:
Paul's had a bit of a computer virus (understatement!) which has made things a bit late. The Online Shop? Calm down. It's coming, it's coming. We've got our stock now. We've done an inventory. We even have a Paypal account. Pricing and buy buttons are next and we should be up and rubbing (er that's running Martin- Ed) within weeps. (er..that's weeks Martin- Ed.)

GIGS:

Lucky Scots subscribers will be pleased to know that I'm going to be in the lovely town of St Andrews between Friday 21st March and Monday 23rd March. I'm doing a big poetry festival there called StAnza. You can find it on the web. www.stanzapoetry.org.uk Very good too.
Straight after that, I have to roar south to do the Essex Book Festival. My part in its downfall will be at Maldon Central Library on Wednesday 25th March .www.essexbookfestival.org.uk
In April, Young Married Luke Wright soon-to-be-a-dad, will putting me out on a gruelling five-day tour which goes Southend/Norwich/ Peterborough, St Albans, Colchester. Dates on that, next newsletter.

BOOK BOOK BOOK - Waaark!
If anyone wants any books... THIS LITTLE ZIGGY or numerous poetry collections, they can be ordered online from Jardine Press or Wivenhoe Bookshop. Come on come on...everyfink must go! Oh and I've finally started work on the second Prospect of Wivenhoe again. It's about a third way into first draft and moving along again.

RECORDULAR MATTERS.
Four demoes down and another five down but not mixed. Sounding crunchy-granola but good, we reckon. Johnny Claarke liked them. Some will be available to buy. online as soon as we can figure out how to do it. Cherry Red records are gradually rebuilding their distribution so sometime soon, they may give an idea of when we start the next album.

Thanks to everyone this winter for cheering things up with a fabulously active, diverse, funny and educational message board. Goodbye and Julie Andrews!

Froze Janiveer
Leader of the year
Minced pies in van
Calf's head in rear
Charles Churchill -English poet (1731-64)

January Newsletter

Aye and a hard time we've had of it so far. But it's 2009 and time to make plans. There is one gig this month and it's in Wivenhoe at the Greyhound, night of Thursday 15th. This is a gig for Poetry Wivenhoe and I'll be doing it with the excellent Jude Simpson and Roz Hall. Just to kickstart the year, really.

The big news is that Paul W and I are going to start up an online shop. This is being organised quite soon. It's for you the listeners and the readers and we want to try and give it very much the flavour of the website. What will we sell? Well, as I mentioned earlier I have a box of old JAR Music stuff and more to come. These items vary from rare-ish vinyl pressings (The Spirit Cage for instance) to CDs without covers (My Back Wages...got quite a few of them and other oddities. They're broken biscuits and discontinued lines really. I'll be trying to sell them at a fair price. I don't know what the demand will be. I personally will be doing the packaging and sellotaping of things with my own fair hand, cos I used to be a postboy see, and I'm good at it.
If this goes well, I'm thinking of maybe Newell or vintage Cleaners from Venus t-shirts. And then...and then...downloadable tracks (New ones!) This brings me neatly onto new recordings, which start soon as portastudio demoes.

Recording
The last news I heard was that Pinnacle, that's Cherry Red's distributors, are defunct. This shouldn't mean too much of a delay. But they now have to find new distribution. This does throw into question the schedule of the next album. Now I already have new songs and I'm thinking of knocking some out, in my old haphazard fashion...analogue style. They'll be inspired demoes I hope. But if they're any good, we might risk putting some up as download-only items and see how they go. It would mean in theory, that I could write a song on Wednesday, record it on Saturday, and have it dowloadable by the following Monday. Just like in the old d.i.y days.

Gigs
There are quiet a few of these packing in for March and April, mostly poetry gigs. More details to come closer to the time.

Now what I have to do, is to make an inventory of everything we have to sell, set up a Paypal account and work with Paul and maybe Steve to get it all working in the next few weeks. I also have to write some more songs and get on with two books, the follow-up to A Prospect of Wivenhoe, which I abandoned last summer. And of course, now that This Little Ziggy is republished, to begin Part Two of the next book of pop memoirs 1975-1990.

Good luck to you all. This website seems to have become a thing of its own and has attracted some of the world's best quiet eccentrics in the process. We love it.. Stay in touch. And good luck to Mr.Obama, he's got a bit of a ball of string to unravel there. Let's be audacious enough to hope he does it.

for those of you who's alt text does not work, the images are Billie Whitelaw and 'Wivenhoe where even the trains have been drinking'

The old year staggers to its feet, totters over to a dusty sideboard and pours itself a chipped enamel tooth-mug of brackish old sherry, before sniffing loudly and in a voice cracked with age and sorrow, says:. (Oh, get on with it Newell! Ed)
The Midwinter Newsletter

GIGS: There's only one gig you need to know about at the moment: CHRISTMAS WITH JOHNNY AND MARTIN
(and Young Luke Wright and Brave Ross Sutherland)
Yessirree bob. That night of nights is upon us once again.
Thursday I8th December / Colchester Arts Centre
Buy tickets from www.colchesterartscentre.com or phone 01206-500900.
Book now in order to ensure disappointment.

Books/Books: This Little Ziggy is now firmly launched. We sent out a few review copies but to be honest, it's really not worth it. Ginny at Wivenbooks says it's going pretty well. We find people just don't review things like books and records (or not mine anyway) and after some pretty good sales figures for other items this past couple of years, I'm thinking of reviewing the whole reviewing thing altogether.
Anyway, if anyone wants books, Good old Jardine Press and Wivenbooks have got all the goods. Buy direct. If anyone wants anything signed, I can always run around the corner and do that for you.

Records/ Records:Songs are alowly beginning to build up and I reckon I'll start a new album early next spring. Hopefully, for autumn release. I'm just waiting on the good folk at Cherry Red to give me the nod. Songs so far are Cleaners-ish/Newell-ish. Expect jangle, Rickenbacker. Oh, and possibly a bit of Spanish laud.

New Books/ new books:I have two projects for next year. This Little Ziggy part 2 (which I don't have a title for yet but I'll be taking in years 1975 to 1990. And I'm quarter way into A Prospect of Wivenhoe 2, which I really must buckle down and do some more work on.

Online Shop! Yes, that's right. Paula Webster, Steve Dix and I will be endeavouring, next year to get an online shop up and running. I've been in touch with Joachim Reinbold of the much-missed JarMusic. He's already freighted me out a huge box of old stock. This is what we call broken biscuits at the moment but a casual inventory reveals a quantity of vinyl ( Spirit Cage and the accompanying three-track singles) There's a few My Back Wages CDs and all sorts of other goodies Such as? A few Live in Osaka CDs in original packaging. And I'm expecting another consignment soon

There are some genuine collectables and we'll be selling them at reasonable prices as soon as I've done an inventory. An online shop would also allow us to bring out Paul's much-discussed project of Orphan Songs... that is, songs that haven't surfaced on any official releases. All of this is much more in keeping with the original d.i.y ethic of the Cleaners from Venus. We don't know how and we don't know quite when yet but we want to do it. More news when we have more news.

Other Gigs:

I have a feeling that next year is going to be the year of the gig. There's already a good handful booked in before spring, . There will be some sort of website Christmas tomfoolery soon, I hope and I'm going to be around on the message board and the blog. But this is the Newsletter, an altogether more sober sort of affair, which is why I'm wearing this sensible jacket. Hilly Ho then!

Paula Webster's belated report on this year's Golden Afternoon can be read, heard and watched here.

November Newslettuce

Settled in for the winter now? A last few leaves hanging on the trees, a distant haze of grey smoke over the blue woods and time to light that pipe, strew a bit of straw over the floor of the Saxon longhouse, and reflect on all the misdeeds and mistakes of the long-dead summer. That tartan miniskirt and the white pvc boots we tried on at the Watercolour Challenge in September for a start...We shan't be wearing that again. But still...

GIG: This year's CHRISTMAS WITH JOHNNY and MARTIN (and Young Luke Wright) will be at COLCHESTER ARTS CENTRE on Thurs.
18th of DECEMBER. The Arts Centre somehow neglected to put us in their brochure this year - may God have mercy on their souls - That's why I'm shouting this. You can book on www.colchesterartscentre.com or ring 01206-500900.

BOOK "THIS LITTLE ZIGGY"
Yep. You heard right. A no-punches-pulled account of my disgraceful pop odyssey between 1964 and 1975. Out of print for six years nearly. Fabulously reviewed when first published dead funny and still shocking (it says here).
It's re-published. By Wivenbooks. (right click on the cover and choose 'see image' to see the cover properly) clLets keep those London parasites out of it this time. With a fabulous new cover by Catherine Dodds. We have copies. We launch on Thursday November 13th at The Wivenhoe Bookshop about 6.30 p.m. I guess. Do go, if you're in the area ...it's in Wivenhoe High Street. I'll be pleased to see you and so will my p.a. Ms. Peaches Latoosh. Come to think of it, maybe I will try that little tartan miniskirt on again.
You can order This Little Ziggy from wiven.book@zetnet.co.uk You can order by telephone from Sue,Helen, or Ginny on 44 (0)1026-824050 We think it's about £8.00...or maybe just under £9.00. Whatever , it's cheaper than the 2nd hand ones currently going elsewhere for forty to sixty quid.

Anything else? Mmm... yeah. Loads of gigs packing in for next year. Loads of stuff to do. And yes, I'm feeling better, thanks. People have been so kind.
I hope to move on and put all this behind me. I'm gradually rebuilding my shattered life and my wife isn't standing by me but somebody else's is. Can you take her away now? Merry November everyone.

Because I used to love her but it's...
OCTOBER NOW

It's autumn and just for a change, the gigs are nearly finished, which means I can go out being melancholy in lanes, chasing goats across fields and staring at women of a certain age who look like a good idea from the distance, until I shake my head like an old admiral on a balcony and sigh: "No.It's no good. She'll be stone raving bonkers, like all the others." and get on with my English Heretics Jigsaw.

I had a fabulous if too-short time in the city of Bilbao which I really took a liking to.
And the Golden Afternoon was great too. It was amazing seeing Kimberley Rew playing the guitar on one of my old songs that even I can't remember how to play.
Thank you all for coming...or at least getting excited about it all.

First of all, those gigs in full.

Friday 3rd October/ Studio Theatre of the Grand Theatre in Blackpool. Poetry. This is me Steve Tasane and Will Holloway, billed as the Three Incredible Talking Men

Wednesday 8th October/ Princes Theatre Clacton...more poetry and a bit of music in a gig called Carry On Poetry with fellow poets Polly Enfield and Jude Simpson.
Both these gigs will be tound about the 7.30 to 8,00 p.m type of start.
Both theatres are on the web.

Sunday 12th October: Rocktober At The Park Hotel. Wivenhoe High Street.
This is a three day event to raise money for next year's Wivenhoe May Fair. I'm playing on the 12th. I'll be playing bass for Tai Chi Dave and Alec early afternoon and playing my own solo set of songs at about 5.30 that afternoon. Several other acts well worth seeing, including guitar maestros Mike Trim and Tim Whitnell.
If you're in Wiv that weekend it'll be a good session.

Sunday 2nd November. Lunchtime at The Bell, Walcott Street, Bath.
I'm doing two sets at lunchtime in Bath's best and hippest boozer. I'm really looking forward to this. If any of you are in the region you might also get to meet Lol Elliott founder Cleaner from Venus who lives in that fair city.

BOOK NEWS ! This Little Ziggy: my appalling but well-received pop memoir is being re-published by Wivenbook. We're putting it together now. It's off to the printers very soon and will be available and launched in early November. It's been fabulously re-designed by the house -team (Catherine) at Jardine and you won't have to trawl e-bay or Amazon for copies at forty quid a shot anymore.
When it's out again, I may just start on Volume 2 -- 1975-1990.

SONGS:
Yes I really have started writing the new album. As soon as gigs are over I'll be getting on with more. I've got plenty of ideas and having recently been 'disappointed' I'm bound to write some new ones.
Oh and it looks like M. Francois Ribac or 'French Frank' as we know him will be recording a version of my old song Lions Drunk on Sunlight in the next few months. He says it's a very bad song and can I send him the chords? I am quite pleased about this and have had to have a spoonful of Coffee Mate and a bit of a sit-down in order to calm myself.

Right now, I'm looking forward to finishing these last few October dates and having a bit of a think. Oh and in case you wondered, I never did finish that house-painting job...

GOLDEN AFTERNOON 2008 21st September 2008 Colchester Arts Centre

It might as well strain until... 
September

The colours of tired summer hang listless on  the trees, a cool wind ruffles your bear and the inscrutable slate sky seems to giggle at you: “Isn't it time you stopped pouting at yourself in the mirror and did some work?” The answer to this is course, “ Well possibly...but just let me try on one more dress? Oh,and do these long gloves work? ”

...well, I only had the Salade Nicoise and some extra chips, which comes to about eight quid in all, oh and the two Nazzuro Astra and about half a carafe of house red with the double cointreau chaser so I can't see how my bill will be any more than about thirty. Look, let's add it up again shall we?
Right...fifteen of us...and a bill of £2,072 pounds. Someone must have ordered these lap dancers and it wasn't me. Keep your Mastercards handy please. Here comes the manager now and he looks worried.. Anyway that was the website annual conference in Cologne. Present: Steve Dix, Paul Wilkinson, Dan Boyden, Diskojoe, Jim Hollis,Gary Collings, Ashley, Ms Peaches La Tour (minutes) Mrs Zelda Wowee ( a few more minutes) the guy in the corner who never said anything all night but he ate a lot of meatballs, my carers John and Timbo and the woman who wouldn't shut up playing the flute...whose idea was she? Anyway here's what's happening.

One last question I want to throw open to the panel: I recently had my long autumnal curtains dry-cleaned and they look great. But they do smell a bit funny. Any idea what that is, anybody? Does it eventually fade? Because it's driving me nuts. Anyone else had this experience or worked in a dry cleaners before? All replies treated in confidence. 

NEW for Summer 2008 Cherry Red TV presents The Nartin Mewell Story 

Sorry there's been scant bloggery lately. I really have been busy. I need to let the well fill up again.
Right, I'm off to lie down and stare at some pictures of some kittens in a boot.

The Roy "Rojo" Jordan design for the Martin "Newell" model acoustic guitar 

www.martinnewell.co.uk is proud to associate itself with the YouTube channel Youmatico.

  Active content removed 

  Active content removed 

More of Martin's videos can be found there.

It's mid April, it's a bit cloudy, no it's a bit sunny, it's a bit warm, it's raining again, oh no, wait a minute, it's stopped, no...it's nearly sunny, it's cloudy, bugger, it's really pouring down, now it's cleared..oh no, it's got really cold again etc etc etc. Ms B. is doing stuff to her house, including ripping out that MC Escher-designed staircase that the previous idiots put in. "It's simply hopeless, Binky," she wails: "I go downstairs to the attic and find that I'm only halfway up to the top bedroom, before I find myself on another flight going upstairs to the basement." 
Meanwhile, I'm keeping my head down here, writing my stuff and occasionally answering the phone to aggrieved creditors. Here's the latest: 

Meanwhile I continue to write weekly poems for The Sunday Express and a column for The East Anglian Daily Times (p.10 every Saturday, 900 words on life here in Essex, please Martin.) I really enjoy this stuff. And I've even found time to start writing The Wildman blog again. Merry spring everybody. Call anytime. We never clothes. 

January Newsletter and AGM
Present. Me, Ms B and Ms B's cat, Matty ...oh and a guy mending a fence downstairs, but I think he's gone now. At last the decorations are up, the Christmas cards are all filed in special cellophane dust covers in the big metal filing cabinet in the corner and I've managed to finish building the half-scale nativity scene in the kitchen. The taxidermist has been paid for enbalming all the ruminants, baby Joseph has gone out for a drink  and now I can settle down with a nice Polo mint and a warming glass of Cillit Bang. Merry January everyone, let's get down to business.