Isaac Asimov

"Having no unusual coincidence is far more unusual than any coincidence could possibly be."

--Isaac Asimov, The Planet that wasn't

"Anyone who displays a capacity for double dealing must forever be suspected of being capable of displaying it again."

--Mayor Harla Branno, Foundation's Edge, p68, Isaac Asimov

"Science has advanced to the stage where all the sensible questions have already been asked. The only questions left to ask are the stupid ones."

--Isaac Asimov

Clive Barker

"Nothing's Right...Except what you feel and know."

--Clive Barker, Cabal, p210

' PRIEST: "You're a monster."
NIGHTBREED: "And you're not?"'"

--Clive Barker, Cabal, p224

"Perhaps attempting to be rational about the human mind was a contradiction in terms."

--Clive Barker, Books of Blood Volume IV, p21

L Frank Baum

"The only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed."

--Scarecrow, The Land of Oz, L. Frank Baum

"I understand it perfectly - all but the explanation."

--Jack Pumpkinhead, Land of Oz, p25, L. Frank Baum

Alan Bleasdale

"'You don't judge a book by the cover, you know.'
'I do. I can't read.'"

--Alan Bleasdale, No Surrender

"Bad men, boy - bad men. No, not 'bad' men - just stupid, misguided, insensitive products of...I must stop reading The Guardian."

--Jim Nelson to his dog, GBH, Alan Bleasdale, C4, 13/6/91

"MICHAEL MURRAY: I'm a hypocrite, I'm a liar, and
I'm associated with evil things.

BARBARA DOUGLAS: You're a politician."

--Alan Bleasdale, GBH, Channel Four, 11/7/91

"I know I'm a nobody. But I'm nobody else's nobody."

--Michael, No Surrender, Alan Bleasdale

Robert Bloch

"Deep down underneath it all, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk."

--Robert Bloch, Weird Tales, November 1942

"I haven't had so much fun since the rats ate my baby sister."

--Robert Bloch

William Seward Burroughs

"'And what do you conclude from that?'
'Conclude? Nothing whatever.'"

--William Seward Burroughs,
The Naked Lunch, p42

"[Control] can never be a means to anything but more control."

--William Seward Burroughs,
The Naked Lunch, p133

"Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative."

--William Seward Burroughs,
The Naked Lunch, p174

"I can see the mean, pinched, hate-filled faces of decent church-going women and lawmen with nigger-notches on their guns."

--William Seward Burroughs, Cities of the Red Night, p229

James Childress

"Being dead means never having to say you're sorry."

--James Childress, Conchy: Living in Tomorrow's Past

"What is life as we know it?"

--James Childress, Conchy: Living in Tomorrow's Past

Aleister Crowley

"There is no god but man."

--Aleister Crowley,
Equinox: A Journal of Scientific Illuminism, 1922)

"There is no Grace,
There is no Guilt,
This is The Law:
Do What Thou Wilt."

--Aleister Crowley,
The Book of The Law

"The question is who is it that seeks the True Self?"

--Aleister Crowley

Erich von Daniken

"Is it more human, or even divine, to let millions of people die of hunger year after year than to save the poor creatures from being born?"

--Erich von Daniken, 1969

"The master of the present and future will constantly have to keep on adding new skills to old. What was valid yesterday is obsolete tomorrow."

--Erich von Daniken, 1969

Edward De Bono

"In order to be able to use creativity, one must...regard it as as way of using the Mind - a way of handling information."

--Edward De Bono, Lateral Thinking

"Exclusive emphasis on the need to be right all the time completely shuts out creativity and progress."

--Edward De Bono, Lateral Thinking

"A statement can be very useful as a stimulus, no matter how nonsensical it is in itself."

--Edward De Bono, Lateral Thinking

Albert Einstein

"As far as the Laws of Mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

--Albert Einstein

"The important thing is never to stop questioning."

--Albert Einstein

"I am inclined to believe in telepathy, but I suspect it has more to do with physics than with psychology."

--Albert Einstein
quoted in The Illuminati Papers, p95, Robert Anton Wilson

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Always do what you are afraid to do."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mick Farren

"If you can imagine it, somebody, somewhere is probably doing it and enjoying it."

--Edelline-Lan, The Song of Phaid the Gambler, Mick Farren, p190

"I think that, given the choice, I'd rather live than learn. Learning is generally such a tiresome business."

--Edelline-Lan, The Song of Phaid the Gambler, Mick Farren, p192

W C Fields

"Anybody who hates children and dogs can't be all bad."

--W C Fields

"Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!"

--W C Fields

Mike Harding

"Tomorrow is yesterday, and today is yellow."

--Mike Harding,
The Unluckiest Man in the World, p107

"(Dancing) consists largely in moving about rhythmically with somebody of the opposite sex without inserting anything anywhere at any time."

--Mike Harding, Armchair Anarchist's Almanac, p78

"A decent, honourable catastrophic failure is better than a middling success any day. So if you are going to fail, do it properly."

--Mike Harding, Armchair Anarchist's Almanac, p94

"Architects are people who don't like fields."

--Mike Harding

Harry Harrison

"We're all winners in the ovarian derby."

--Soloman Kahn,
Make Room! Make Room!, p174,
Harry Harrison

"They are everyone who wants to be one of Them. They are both a state of mind and an institution...They die off and are replaced, but the institution of They-ness goes on."

--Deathwish Drang,
Bill, the Galactic Hero,
Harry Harrison

The Harvard Lampoon

"Have sent to my chambers two young boys, a pumpkin and the schnauzer. After this meeting, I shall wish to be depraved."

--Baron Hardchargin, Doon, p16, The Harvard Lampoon

"Every place is dangerous to the man who talks to his shirt."

--Safire Halfwit, Doon, p20, The Harvard Lampoon

"I sit on the floor and pick my nose,
And dream exotic dreams,
Of dragons who dress in rubber clothes,
And trolls who do it in teams."

--Dildo Bugger,
Bored of the Rings,
The Harvard Lampoon

Douglas R. Hofstadter

"The brain is rational; The mind may not be."

--Douglas R. Hofstadter,
Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, p576

"Consciousness requires a large degree of self-consciousness."

--Douglas R. Hofstadter,
Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, p328

"Once some mental function is programmed, people soon cease to consider it as an essential ingredient of 'real thinking.'"

--Douglas R. Hofstadter,
Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, p601

Aldous Huxley

"Life is an illusion, But an illusion which we must take seriously."

--Aldous Huxley

"Our job is waking up."

--Aldous Huxley

H.L. Mencken

"For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong."

--H.L. Mencken

"Conscience is that Inner Voice that warns us Somebody Is Looking."

--H.L. Mencken

The Piman
(Mel Croucher & Christian Penfold)

"People and friends are all that count."

--The Piman

"Go easy on your rubber duck.
Make the most of your pork pie."

--The Piman,
Pimania, Mel Croucher

W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman

"Hushabye babies,
(Hush quite a lot)
Bad babies get rabies,
(and have to be shot)"

--W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman

"Choose your companions carefully - you may have to eat them."

--W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman

Paul Simon

"Negotiations and love songs are often mistaken for one and the same."

--Paul Simon, Train in the distance

"Can analysis be worthwhile?"

--Paul Simon,
The Dangling Conversation

"Everything put together sooner or later falls apart."

--Paul Simon

Margaret Thatcher

"What is opportunity if your only opportunity is to be equal?"

--Margaret Thatcher, 14/2/1981

"I will not change just to court popularity."

--Margaret Thatcher, 16/10/1981

"Mrs Thatcher's strength was her strength."

--Woodrow Wyatt, The Times

Alan Turing

"To attempt to provide rules of conduct to cover every eventuality...appears to be impossible."

--Alan M. Turing, Computing Machinery and Intelligence,
in The Mind's I, Hofstadter & Dennett, p65

"May not machines carry out something which ought to be described as thinking, but which is very different from what a man does?"

--Alan M. Turing, Computing Machinery and Intelligence,
in The Mind's I, Hofstadter & Dennett, p65

Kurt Vonnegut

"We are what we pretend to be. So we must be careful about what we pretend to be."

--Kurt Vonnegut jr, Mother Night

"Make love when you can. It's good for you."

--Kurt Vonnegut jr, Mother Night

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