The Institution of Silly and Meaningless Sayings Notes of extra-ordinary ISMS Board meeting - 14th October 2004, 16:00 Present: Professor S L Rottenpig-Rules - in the chair Professor Chay Rhinonuts - on the sofa Professor J F Belford  - in good form Sue Stringport - on the wagon Apologies: Professor P McLoughlin Mr G Scott The Chairman explained that this extraordinary meeting had been called to discuss the Institution's plans in readiness for the Freedom of Information Act, which would come into force on 1 January 2005. The following is a summary of the discussion that took place. (and perhaps explains why the ISMS is like it is!) SLR-R: Ladies and gentlemen, the time is almost upon us so we must act now because he who hesitates is lost. CR: Ah, yes, but we must look before we leap. Remember, act in haste, repent at leisure. JFB: We need to grasp the nettle! SS: But we don't want to get stung! SLR-R: Nevertheless, a good beginning will make a good ending. CR: But it's not over until it's over and a miss is as good as a mile! SLR-R: Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained. SS: But better safe than sorry. JFB: Yes, and half a loaf is better than none, and something is better than nothing! SLR-R: Look, don't you start changing horses in midstream! JFB: But variety is the spice of life. CR: Huh! There's no fool like an old fool. JFB: Look, it's never too late to learn. CR: But you can't teach an old dog new tricks. SLR-R: Gentlemen and lady, let's all pull together, there's safety in numbers and two heads are better than one. SS: But there are four of us! CR: Better be alone than in bad company! JFB: And too many cooks will spoil the broth! SS: But if you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas. SLR-R: Yes, but if you can't beat them, join them. So, it may take time to pull together our policy on the FIA but if at first we don't succeed, we'll try and try again. CR: No sense in flogging a dead horse though! So hold fast to the words of your ancestors. SS: Look, wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them. So what shall we do? CR: Ask no questions and hear no lies. JFB: But, ask and you shall receive! SLR-R: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. JFB: But forewarned is forearmed. SLR-R: All we need is a brief policy, because good things come in small packages. SS: Yes, the bigger, the better.   CR: I think actions will speak louder than words. SS: But the pen is mightier than the sword. JFB: Look, we've never done this before so let's have a go. Practise makes perfect. SS: But all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!! CR: I agree! JFB: Typical! Birds of a feather flock together. CR: Well, blood is thicker than water! SS: And opposites attract. SLR-R: Gentlemen, lady! Silence is golden! SS: But it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease! SLR-R: Look, we must dig the well before we get thirsty! I have here a draft copy of a policy. It's been taken from another institution by one of our affiliates. JFB: But a man's reach should exceed his grasp! We can't just copy someone else's policy! CR: Well, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Everyone else is doing it! When in Rome, do as the Romans do. SS: Yes. a penny saved is a penny earned. JFB: The love of money is the root of all evil. Above all, to thine own self be true! CR: Look, as the Chairman said earlier, he who hesitates is lost. JFB: Then, on principle, I'm leaving the meeting! CR: Well, two's company, Three's a crowd! SS: But there are four of us! CR: Who cares! Out of sight, out of mind. JFB: But absence makes the heart grow fonder! CR:  Never judge a book by it's cover! SLR-R: Look, if JFB is leaving we cannot continue with the meeting. So, who's for a drink? ALL: The more, the merrier! Meeting abandoned: 17:00

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