 
// Author:The Chairman & Chief Executive
// isms.org.uk
// isms2002@btinternet.com
// last update January 2007


quotes=1373;
ism=new Array(quotes);
auth = new Array(quotes);
ism[0] = "The Institution of Silly & Meaningless Sayings";
ism[1] = "Nationally, all over the country";
ism[2] = "He drove past Penshaw ointment";
ism[3] = "An inch-and-a-half-pound hammer";
ism[4] = "That's imperial to me";
ism[5] = "Are you casting nasturtiums at me?";
ism[6] = "Someone is making insinuendos";
ism[7] = "He drove over Redroof Bridge";
ism[8] = "Someone has been making allegations ......... I want the alligators to own up now!";
ism[9] = "That survey is a damp duck";
ism[10] = "The Renault 12 has a refinery";
ism[11] = "We can't stand here with our caps on our heads and say the figures are correct";
ism[12] = "It's in the CSSD department (central sterile supplies department department)";
ism[13] = "PRR rates (performance related rates rates)";
ism[14] = "Working our eyes to the bone";
ism[15] = "We were up to the kneeballs in snow";
ism[16] = "There was a highjacked autojugger across the road";
ism[17] = "You have the black areas and the white areas and in between ...... the green areas";
ism[18] = "Take a hysterical reference period";
ism[19] = "It's finished ............it's a squashed duck!";
ism[20] = "He had four GCE's and five CSSD's";
ism[21] = "We can't have that brandied about";
ism[22] = "A new war film ........ 'Acollapips Now'";
ism[23] = "They'll be giving prisoners five-poster beds next";
ism[24] = "Looking down her cleaverage";
ism[25] = "Ten thousand grand pounds";
ism[26] = "Our team should be self-independent";
ism[27] = "A six-month-year-old-baby";
ism[28] = "Working between these tight perambulators";
ism[29] = "Attached at Appendicee A";
ism[30] = "Let's draw up a matricee";
ism[31] = "Hours of manput";
ism[32] = "He was very charmingful";
ism[33] = "Well, that's split the beans";
ism[34] = "A heated rear number plate";
ism[35] = "Stereo with double Dolby";
ism[36] = "I wouldn't know her from Adam";
ism[37] = "He's just the scrapecoat";
ism[38] = "Have you got the 'Z to Y Street Guide'?";
ism[39] = "Parakeet flooring";
ism[40] = "Well, we're just back to Quo Vadis";
ism[41] = "He's been subconded";
ism[42] = "A waste disposable unit";
ism[43] = "She's very retirecent";
ism[44] = "Bullets were ricketing all around";
ism[45] = "Aquapuncture is very good for you";
ism[46] = "Find out its alpha number";
ism[47] = "Dississipate the smell";
ism[48] = "We'll have to do an addendment";
ism[49] = "That bonus scheme is unfinancially viable";
ism[50] = "I'm not putting my head on the rack";
ism[51] = "I hope the poisoned duck don't get the job";
ism[52] = "Funeral decorators";
ism[53] = "He smokes like a trooper";
ism[54] = "Bent as a two-bob-bit";
ism[55] = "The solicitor hadn't got a case to stand on";
ism[56] = "Order some vanilla folders";
ism[57] = "A four floor storey building";
ism[58] = "Nickel Canadium batteries";
ism[59] = "Working hand over foot";
ism[60] = "Six pelanty points";
ism[61] = "Having a liquid drink";
ism[62] = "Have you got any quabbles";
ism[63] = "You've misconscrewed me";
ism[64] = "Throwing a fly into the works";
ism[65] = "Drinking a cravat of wine";
ism[66] = "Pull the other bell, it's got legs on";
ism[67] = "I suppose I'll have to chip-up and cough-in";
ism[68] = "We're unindated with work";
ism[69] = "I'll have to fill a demi-jar";
ism[70] = "He uses the umbrella technique of management";
ism[71] = "A six-monthly meeting every year";
ism[72] = "I'm not au pair with the situation";
ism[73] = "I, myself, personally ......";
ism[74] = "I hate those carry-cot beans";
ism[75] = "Let's design a motive or a logi";
ism[76] = "Staying in prison just makes you an old slag";
ism[77] = "I hope that sorts out the chiff chaff";
ism[78] = "Let's prepare some IBS schemes";
ism[79] = "A Volvo 760 Jumbo";
ism[80] = "Working in the ITU unit";
ism[81] = "Complete with VDU unit";
ism[82] = "He changes like a carmeelia";
ism[83] = "It's awful cleaning up all that theses";
ism[84] = "I love those Spanish flamingo dancers";
ism[85] = "He can't tell one hand from the left";
ism[86] = "That's equal to one full-time FTE";
ism[87] = "The walls were covered with muriels";
ism[88] = "Fancy showing all of your cards to the deck";
ism[89] = "Have you got any A4 foolscrap";
ism[90] = "The President of Libya .......... Colonel Macgaffy";
ism[91] = "Of course that's not sancrosenkt";
ism[92] = "As flat as a die";
ism[93] = "Can I see you about these tenderisation documents";
ism[94] = "That's a double-barrelled sword";
ism[95] = "A three-wheeled bicycle";
ism[96] = "She just yabbles on";
ism[97] = "He's been sexually raped";
ism[98] = "I'm not cowtailing down to her";
ism[99] = "Celtic strip .......... green and white striped hoops";
ism[100] = "We don't get paid ........in fact, we do it for free";
ism[101] = "It's all those chocolate kit-e-kats he eats";
ism[102] = "That's just another hurdle we'll have to carry";
ism[103] = "Crockery will be centrally dishwashed";
ism[104] = "That must be unecomical";
ism[105] = "Technicalogical";
ism[106] = "Ronald Reagan made an unpresidented remark";
ism[107] = "It may happen in the recent future";
ism[108] = "Did he sound gropey on the phone?";
ism[109] = "He was as brown as a badger";
ism[110] = "That will make the feathers fly";
ism[111] = "Drunk as a wheel barrow";
ism[112] = "He drinks like there's no yesterday";
ism[113] = "He's got a brain like a cows udder";
ism[114] = "He's a nasty piece of fish";
ism[115] = "He's in hot weather over that mistake";
ism[116] = "You've hit the nose on the head there";
ism[117] = "The Arab oil ministers have reached a shaky agreement";
ism[118] = "A human cry went up at Shotley Bridge";
ism[119] = "We can't have people just poddling about";
ism[120] = "Ninety-nine times out of ten";
ism[121] = "Double the answer by six";
ism[122] = "Now you're just picking hairs";
ism[123] = "A one-armed band machine";
ism[124] = "Disrecount that last remark";
ism[125] = "He wants to sit on both ends of the fence";
ism[126] = "The FA cup and league triple";
ism[127] = "She was here two weeks tomorrow ago";
ism[128] = "He was caught in a cleft fist";
ism[129] = "The juvenile jazz band all played bazookas";
ism[130] = "We'll all be left with cheek on our faces";
ism[131] = "He was super-fast .......... he had quick reflections";
ism[132] = "The laugh will be on my hands then";
ism[133] = "My new car will be a Fiat Accompli";
ism[134] = "Don't give up the towel";
ism[135] = "I think they've been sold a black pig";
ism[136] = "Don't unrest any stones";
ism[137] = "We'll have to iron out the qwerps";
ism[138] = "He was saved at the twelfth hour";
ism[139] = "A breadth of fresh air";
ism[140] = "All that intense work was certainly bog-minding";
ism[141] = "He'll just pack the bus to us";
ism[142] = "Once you understand the methology you'll be all right";
ism[143] = "A four floorey building";
ism[144] = "Why not buy an on-the-peg suit";
ism[145] = "He just sat about for two months ...... June, July and August";
ism[146] = "He just sits and cowpatulates";
ism[147] = "All the can was on my shoulders";
ism[148] = "With all that work he'll be chained hand and sink";
ism[149] = "He's just wool in sheep's clothing";
ism[150] = "That's no problem off my nose";
ism[151] = "That's put the shit among the pigeons";
ism[152] = "To all intensive purposes";
ism[153] = "I was taught to speak in capital letters";
ism[154] = "All the figures have been masqueraded";
ism[155] = "Frank Bruno .......... the great white hope";
ism[156] = "I love eating maroons";
ism[157] = "Let's keep ourselves above the headball";
ism[158] = "That's just bad grapes";
ism[159] = "It had a three speed gearbox with a fifth gear";
ism[160] = "Get some acetape slides for the projector";
ism[161] = "The pet answer is ......";
ism[162] = "A match by match commentary";
ism[163] = "Statisticles";
ism[164] = "Drop up a drough raft";
ism[165] = "The contractors will be laughing down a drain by now";
ism[166] = "He belongs to a witch's coffin";
ism[167] = "He's running by the hare and hounds";
ism[168] = "The velocity of the laundry is bound to increase";
ism[169] = "He had a standing ovulation";
ism[170] = "A nose-to-nose tail-back";
ism[171] = "Spreading like wild flour";
ism[172] = "I'm not putting my head on the rack to get hung";
ism[173] = "Mary Smith was his right hand man";
ism[174] = "I'm better than any one of them put together";
ism[175] = "Let's put it in prospective";
ism[176] = "What is the cost per captive head?";
ism[177] = "We need people with the right experterience";
ism[178] = "He was new and was just feeling his feet";
ism[179] = "We've missed the boat of no return";
ism[180] = "We've been sold a duck";
ism[181] = "The onus is back on our shoulders";
ism[182] = "We'll have to fuddle through";
ism[183] = "Running around like an egg-less chicken";
ism[184] = "We need subscription into the armed services";
ism[185] = "I don't squelch on my bets";
ism[186] = "There's no fools on him";
ism[187] = "He's got channel vision";
ism[188] = "He's like the three L's .......... sick, lame and lazy";
ism[189] = "He knows Gateshead like the back of his head";
ism[190] = "Systems Analysists";
ism[191] = "But for the sterling help of the finance officer .......";
ism[192] = "It's the current practice for electricians";
ism[193] = "Rotary and alternative shift allowances";
ism[194] = "Get a piece of pen and a paper handy";
ism[195] = "I hope you haven't been misconfused";
ism[196] = "I've been trying to nobble her knees for years";
ism[197] = "The bettering of brud";
ism[198] = "The floor cleaning team do splot cleaning";
ism[199] = "My next door neighbour, three doors away";
ism[200] = "They were having fighty-cuffs";
ism[201] = "We've had a few cross swords";
ism[202] = "He's in a different frame of mood";
ism[203] = "Tight as a camel's arse in a snow storm";
ism[204] = "Can I speak to Mr Worth or his counter-partner";
ism[205] = "He should be put down and shot";
ism[206] = "He's on a high independent ward";
ism[207] = "He was on the crest of a peak of a wave";
ism[208] = "A major crisee";
ism[209] = "The NFIS ..........the national incentive financial scheme";
ism[210] = "I think you think I'm under an apprehension";
ism[211] = "He just sat and bit his teeth";
ism[212] = "I'm not as green as I'm carrot looking";
ism[213] = "An ante-natal bet";
ism[214] = "I'm not putting my head on the line";
ism[215] = "You can't have either if or what";
ism[216] = "He accused us of codwalloping the figures";
ism[217] = "Our figures are not co-tangent with theirs";
ism[218] = "She's was just bouncing the drum";
ism[219] = "She's just riding buckshod over everyone";
ism[220] = "He uses backshop and cornerhand methods";
ism[221] = "It's all back in the mental pot";
ism[222] = "The squeaky suspension was sprayed with UB40";
ism[223] = "It'll all snowbound back on them";
ism[224] = "It's into the tunnel and all of the water's out";
ism[225] = "The Kingsbury rules of boxing";
ism[226] = "He's almost always ever-present";
ism[227] = "He's on infertility benefit";
ism[228] = "I would have chickened out and cried sheep";
ism[229] = "I had a week's tossle over that one";
ism[230] = "He doesn't rub salt with me";
ism[231] = "I've come for my GCE injection";
ism[232] = "As Quasimodo would say .....'You rang'";
ism[233] = "All-day Thursday morning";
ism[234] = "Ground coffee tea bags";
ism[235] = "He was just cracking the big stick";
ism[236] = "You can't post-applicate but you can post-apply";
ism[237] = "It's a gross mis-fiddle";
ism[238] = "Check it on a week-to-day basis";
ism[239] = "You can't sliver spoon them all the time";
ism[240] = "There's been nothing to countercede it";
ism[241] = "There's only one word for it ........... Magic Darts";
ism[242] = "Calculate the metric linear footage";
ism[243] = "It will help to dis-encourage them";
ism[244] = "The Planner-Estimators will reconciliate";
ism[245] = "We'll use it universally on a national basis";
ism[246] = "That's the name of the ball we're in";
ism[247] = "The dis-assemble and re-mantle phases";
ism[248] = "The Planner-Esimators are compeetant";
ism[249] = "He was looking at his shadow in the mirror";
ism[250] = "He was an under-bearer at a funeral";
ism[251] = "They're a run of the middle of the table team";
ism[252] = "They put the ham in moslem bags";
ism[253] = "He was in and out like a yo-yo";
ism[254] = "Defacinated coffee";
ism[255] = "That's a round about robin way to do it";
ism[256] = "We'll have to do a red robin around the districts";
ism[257] = "..... with two copies forwarded back to us";
ism[258] = "It was all hot press on the wireless today";
ism[259] = "The crowd were standing on their heads clapping their hands";
ism[260] = "He's just sitting on the hedge";
ism[261] = "Why not order marionated chicken";
ism[262] = "He's as bent as a ten pound note";
ism[263] = "Geoff is Jim's second-hand man";
ism[264] = "We'll have to do a hatch-up job to rescue this";
ism[265] = "I use semi-skilled milk";
ism[266] = "He went at it like a raw dog";
ism[267] = "She was brought up with a silver dish";
ism[268] = "The proof's in the pudding";
ism[269] = "We disagree with that in totem";
ism[270] = "That'll put the cookie amongst the crumble";
ism[271] = "They'll get a rostering for that";
ism[272] = "Running around like a long-lost sheep";
ism[273] = "This clock runs better on Durex batteries";
ism[274] = "He was getting a major share of the lion's cake";
ism[275] = "That's food to my ears";
ism[276] = "They leap-frogged him hand-cuffed out of the Metro Centre";
ism[277] = "That works out at two square minutes per letter";
ism[278] = "A detached three-bedroomed semi";
ism[279] = "She's just the middle-man";
ism[280] = "Senile dimensions have set in";
ism[281] = "The Computer Protection Act";
ism[282] = "PCM ..... Process Quality Management";
ism[283] = "His lip is too big for his boots";
ism[284] = "Mrs Thatcher doesn't give a Toyota about it";
ism[285] = "It has continuous hot water all the time";
ism[286] = "He went to Sunday school religiously every week";
ism[287] = "That's no skin off my back";
ism[288] = "That's got that stomach off my chest";
ism[289] = "He keeps turning up like a rolling stone";
ism[290] = "Let's put things on an evil keel";
ism[291] = "He'll rue every hair on his head";
ism[292] = "He threw his ring into the hat";
ism[293] = "A VHSS video recorder";
ism[294] = "It was an under-the-carpet job";
ism[295] = "He's as much use as a chocolate orange";
ism[296] = "He drives me round the pole";
ism[297] = "He put her through the grill at interview";
ism[298] = "That'll put them leap years ahead of us";
ism[299] = "That'll set the fat amongst the pigeons";
ism[300] = "He's put a scotch on that";
ism[301] = "They'll end up paying over the nose for that";
ism[302] = "It died a duck";
ism[303] = "Let's do it annually ...... or at least once each year";
ism[304] = "Let's sort out the modus operandi, or at least how we do it";
ism[305] = "A spring inferior mattress";
ism[306] = "He had testicles spread all over the country";
ism[307] = "Working down the mines ..... you just get a pittance";
ism[308] = "And prior to that ..... but at the same time";
ism[309] = "They're now using square volume";
ism[310] = "Let's pull out all the strings";
ism[311] = "HGV vehicles";
ism[312] = "We'll be undertaking dummy runs in the neonatal department";
ism[313] = "I'll keep my ears peeled";
ism[314] = "Mozart's piano concerto number 40 ..... one of his key works";
ism[315] = "He pushed the boat out into no-man's land";
ism[316] = "I'm just flogging my head against a brick wall";
ism[317] = "He communicates to London by train every day";
ism[318] = "That was totally fruitile";
ism[319] = "Which came first ..... the bacon or the egg";
ism[320] = "I didn't know the answer off the top of my hat";
ism[321] = "You've hit the nail on the thumb there";
ism[322] = "You need to wear information suits at Sellafield";
ism[323] = "You're too good for your own cheeky";
ism[324] = "I have no freedom ..... my eyes are tied behind my back";
ism[325] = "He's their one-eyed wonder boy";
ism[326] = "It depends on which side of the fence you talk to";
ism[327] = "You have black coffee without milk, don't you?";
ism[328] = "That issue is still fairly current at present";
ism[329] = "The R&B Blues programme";
ism[330] = "You escaped in the skin of time";
ism[331] = "The car was flashing its horn and honking its lights";
ism[332] = "The paragraphs should be numbered consequentially";
ism[333] = "The Department of Customs and Exercise";
ism[334] = "There should be more women WPCs";
ism[335] = "I had nightmares every day";
ism[336] = "You'll be waiting here 'til the sun comes home";
ism[337] = "He's got more money than Methuselah";
ism[338] = "He's got bald hair";
ism[339] = "The paperwork system is based on traffic lights ..... white, green, yellow and dark pink";
ism[340] = "I wrote to you earlier to say that I would be writing to you later";
ism[341] = "Let's see how it sucks";
ism[342] = "He's a big fish in a little Poland";
ism[343] = "This very good catering department should share its recipe for success";
ism[344] = "Foot-care assistants have no hands-on experience";
ism[345] = "He was running around like a scalded fly";
ism[346] = "We hope to derail the juggernaut";
ism[347] = "She was a female actress";
ism[348] = "Non-GP fundholding practices";
ism[349] = "Well it's six and two thirds which I do";
ism[350] = "He took to it like a donkey to water";
ism[351] = "She's just feathering her own bed";
ism[352] = "Are you doing the paediatric children's survey";
ism[353] = "I don't want anything too florid or flowerful";
ism[354] = "Who wants to qualify the accounts of an authority that doesn't exist";
ism[355] = "That seems like a slow-winded way of doing it";
ism[356] = "That makes 7 ..... and if you double it you get 12 or 16";
ism[357] = "The only jobs left to do on my list of outstanding jobs are the ones I've got left";
ism[358] = "That meeting was a damp squid";
ism[359] = "Taking foreign holidays abroad";
ism[360] = "There's a highjacked lorry across the road back there";
ism[361] = "The job sheet's ready, with the caviar that Alan Candlish needs to see it";
ism[362] = "Half the football team will be decimated";
ism[363] = "You should look at that with a barge pole";
ism[364] = "Let's take the bull by the nails";
ism[365] = "You've been singing like a fish all week";
ism[366] = "I wish I was an emu ..... I'd bury my head in the sand";
ism[367] = "It's from that Welsh authority ..... you know, the one in Wales";
ism[368] = "We've had some teething problems with the mobile dental unit";
ism[369] = "..... plus an impatient population which is older and frailer .....";
ism[370] = "They're going back because they can see it's the way forward";
ism[371] = "Like a cat on hot tin bricks";
ism[372] = "So you got a mark of 68% ..... how many is that out of?";
ism[373] = "Buttering their own nest";
ism[374] = "Feathering their own bread";
ism[375] = "We're now entering a second phase which follows the first";
ism[376] = "He's got legs like the elephant man";
ism[377] = "They've merged into two separate units";
ism[378] = "It's turning quite chippy out there";
ism[379] = "I don't know the answer off the top of my hat";
ism[380] = "You're putting the horse before the cart";
ism[381] = "I had to pull out all of the strings in the book";
ism[382] = "Some Councils have been doing that since the word dot";
ism[383] = "It went straight as a whistle";
ism[384] = "Heads role in financial management";
ism[385] = "White as a feather";
ism[386] = "You're all mouth and no talk";
ism[387] = "There are three ways to do it ...... and never the twain shall meet";
ism[388] = "It was a one-way dialogue";
ism[389] = "It went down like a dead balloon";
ism[390] = "If you find a shop that sell's one ..... but two or three";
ism[391] = "..... and to add insult to industry .....";
ism[392] = "The GMC Council";
ism[393] = "That's put a spoke in his wheel";
ism[394] = "All our staff wear name badgers";
ism[395] = "Level peggle";
ism[396] = "He was a well know Channel 4 presentator";
ism[397] = "People don't realise that these young pupils are the children of the future";
ism[398] = "The leaked documents were found in a cabinet ..... a Cabinet spokesman said ......";
ism[399] = "People don't give a can of worms about that";
ism[400] = "Crystal Palace scored 25 goals in 25 games ..... it's virtually a goal a game";
ism[401] = "Well, I read what you say, but .....";
ism[402] = "They're like two peas in a drum";
ism[403] = "Thank you for falling back .....";
ism[404] = "The executives will get rich by putting their snouts in the gravy train";
ism[405] = "Some of them are still green behind the ears";
ism[406] = "You could hear the blue lights coming towards the hospital";
ism[407] = "There should be a joint audit of toe and ankle injuries";
ism[408] = "This drug problem is difficult to crack";
ism[409] = "It certainly had the crowd on the seat of their chairs";
ism[410] = "Compared to Wimpey or Leech, I'm just a flea in the ocean";
ism[411] = "That was (Joe Bloggs) playing Bach on the horpsicard";
ism[412] = "He's worth his weight in salt";
ism[413] = "He had all the day in the world to play that shot";
ism[414] = "He died at the age of five-ty eight (85)";
ism[415] = "Come on referee, blow your watch";
ism[416] = "Accopella ...... it's a type of singing without voices";
ism[417] = "It's not a viable opposition (position)";
ism[418] = "50% internal staff and 50% unemployed ..... I thought it would be the other way around";
ism[419] = "Check to see if I've got any new wail maiting";
ism[420] = "He couldn't organise a cock-up in a brewery";
ism[421] = "and because we had the highest majority ..........";
ism[422] = "There won't be a dry house in the stadium";
ism[423] = "Any significant value is significant";
ism[424] = "British Airways made pre-tax profits before tax";
ism[425] = "Dark chocolate?���..Oh, you mean like Cadbury's Bovril?";
ism[426] = "It was a great parade, we pulled out all the stumps";
ism[427] = "His ears have been flattened by wearing microphones for so long";
ism[428] = "We'll introduce a performance managering system";
ism[429] = "It happened in London's St Pancreas station";
ism[430] = "Mickey Gray, running down the left flannel";
ism[431] = "It's a bit of a disastrophy";
ism[432] = "It was very warm last night�.almost as though we were going to have an Indian winter";
ism[433] = "We now need to expand along the riverside, it's one of our key (quay?) objectives";
ism[434] = "I don't want to be a party popper, but��";
ism[435] = "It's really easy��it's not like it's rocket fuel! ";
ism[436] = "With hindsight, you can always look back with hindsight";
ism[437] = "I've managed to nail it in the bud";
ism[438] = "The PFU Unit";
ism[439] = "We'll have to specify specifically";
ism[440] = "They can speak English, both written and speaking";
ism[441] = "an unprecedented action ��..which we've never done before";
ism[442] = "I don't have his number pacifically, but try this one";
ism[443] = "I'm undecided �� the verdict's still out";
ism[444] = "Dangling from his own rod";
ism[445] = "Making a mountain out of a sand hill";
ism[446] = "The boss poured oil on me";
ism[447] = "I'm not interested in the facts, just tell me what happened";
ism[448] = "It was a fass-similie signature";
ism[449] = "He's just using poet's licence";
ism[450] = "I'm running around like a blue-faced fly";
ism[451] = "Nous retournerons l'annee derniere (we'll come back last year)";
ism[452] = "Tony Blair's glasses were chosen by a 'focus' group";
ism[453] = "Have we got another corgette in cream?";
ism[454] = "It's a bit cumbersome and heavy-footed";
ism[455] = "The Royal Arse Hortillery";
ism[456] = "The Light Dutch Tata Review";
ism[457] = "It's a long road that leads nowhere";
ism[458] = "The archie-tect will issue a Variegation order";
ism[459] = "Thrashing about in the dark like a blue-arsed fly";
ism[460] = "Cost will skyrocket through the roof";
ism[461] = "He was totally non-pulsed";
ism[462] = "He's new, he's still green behind the ears";
ism[463] = "They won't lose any sleepless nights over this";
ism[464] = "Up the creek without a canoe";
ism[465] = "He went at it like a bull at a cow";
ism[466] = "He might be as well hung as a sheep or a lamb";
ism[467] = "I'm an atheist, thank God";
ism[468] = "Is cricket becoming a political football?";
ism[469] = "Loaded to the gunwales";
ism[470] = "Bolting the stable door after the horse has gone";
ism[471] = "I may be divulging from the point a bit�.?";
ism[472] = "High-fangled facilities";
ism[473] = "That should be in lower-case capitals";
ism[474] = "The cash has been ring-sliced";
ism[475] = "We saw a real live dead pigeon";
ism[476] = "The wheelchair patient tried to complain��.but he hadn't got a leg to stand on!";
ism[477] = "You'd better keep your ears pierced for that one�.!";
ism[478] = "The book is the Jack and John of project management";
ism[479] = "The expenditure on the project is in-illegible";
ism[480] = "Going at it like a bull at a cow";
ism[481] = "He's living hand to foot";
ism[482] = "Sitting on the fence post again";
ism[483] = "Make sure that every stone is unturned";
ism[484] = "The Audit Commission PDP Plan ";
ism[485] = "CPA Assessments";
ism[486] = "I was so drunk I almost fell over and had to grab hold of the dildo rail";
ism[487] = "He went through the defence like a knife through hot butter";
ism[488] = "While your working try to remember what we talked about tomorrow ";
ism[489] = "We'll just build that bridge when we cross it";
ism[490] = "The vagrancies of the (financial) system mean that ��.";
ism[491] = "I think the builders could sense that we were a bit green behind the ears";
ism[492] = "Jumpin' Joseph is fat";
ism[493] = "Six of one, dime a dozen";
ism[494] = "Grappling with my own ghost";
ism[495] = "The hat's on the other head";
ism[496] = "Verification of death by nurses";
ism[497] = "I'm having difficulty persuading my wife - she's not very perceptible";
ism[498] = "You join us in time for today's Wee-Tears derby game. (should be Wear-Tees)";
ism[499] = "I've just thrown a monkey into my wrench�..";
ism[500] = "I like that song, who did you say it was by - the Elephant's Gerald? (Ella Fitzgerald)";
ism[501] = "Jesus Christ was born as the result of an immaculate reception";
ism[502] = "We get seven or eight calls a day to as many as none";
ism[503] = "We need to verify the validity of these photographs";
ism[504] = "He was hard to identify because he was wearing a hair wig";
ism[505] = "Only his mother survived the Holycost";
ism[506] = "We need to be expedious doing this work";
ism[507] = "Many people died in the inferno fire";
ism[508] = "The shooter held himself up for hours in his apartment after the shooting";
ism[509] = "After labouring for 36 hours the doctors told the woman she needed a cesary section";
ism[510] = "After trying all day to finish the puzzle he finally gave up the goat";
ism[511] = "Many years ago sable-toothed tigers roamed the earth";
ism[512] = "The sun sets over that hill every morning";
ism[513] = "The train has just landed�";
ism[514] = "Everything I've used, I've already used up";
ism[515] = "It's a dog's world and I'm wearing dog bone underwear";
ism[516] = "Your coming in loud and queer";
ism[517] = "There's no absolute way to be absolutely sure";
ism[518] = "We had to do work last night, you know. In the middle of the dark.";
ism[519] = "The wind blew all the papers ascrew";
ism[520] = "I'm accentuating some emphasis at a different angle";
ism[521] = "She got 36 Valentimes from her classmates.";
ism[522] = "We hung Christmas reefs on all the windows";
ism[523] = "She needs her choresterol checked";
ism[524] = "I've had artichoke hearts but I've never had a real one";
ism[525] = "He was diagnosed with prostate castor";
ism[526] = "Ellen McCarthy��she's the one that sailed round the world in a cattle meringue";
ism[527] = "They're having a 20/50 disco at the party";
ism[528] = "The super hair product �.. Bryl-o-creem";
ism[529] = "That well known oriental dog breed, the Lhasa Arsehole";
ism[530] = "A crash claimed the life of a Lycoming county motorist for the second time in as many days";
ism[531] = "PDAs - Palm top computers";
ism[532] = "People between the age of 65 & 69 yrs are predicted to grow by 39% and between 70 & 74 yrs by 16% by 2006";
ism[533] = "Open your ears and smell the coffee";
ism[534] = "I make no qualms about that";
ism[535] = "The workers are confusioned about when to wear PPE";
ism[536] = "My wife has a lot of things going on femininally";
ism[537] = "There were fresh explosions last night at night";
ism[538] = "It probably definitely helps";
ism[539] = "Is this your restaurant's landmark salad?";
ism[540] = "He decided to go to the beach on the sperm of the moment";
ism[541] = "The fog was really fecal today, moving in and out all afternoon";
ism[542] = "Roger Clemens is only one win away from baseball mortality";
ism[543] = "He came down with a really bad case of poison ivory";
ism[544] = "I've narrowed it down to a two square mile radius";
ism[545] = "Sorry I can't meet you tomorrow as planned, something really important has cocked up";
ism[546] = "Blind dogs for the guides�.";
ism[547] = "The clouds look a bit anonymous";
ism[548] = "The driver pulled out of a congealed entrance";
ism[549] = "The hijacker held up the plane using a toothpick";
ism[550] = "I'll be 44� on my next birthday";
ism[551] = "My dog hasn't barked a word all week";
ism[552] = "I was over come with emulsion";
ism[553] = "It's OK, I got paid I'm soluble again";
ism[554] = "There's a time and a place for spontaneity";
ism[555] = "Crazy paving isn't all it's cracked up to be";
ism[556] = "I would like three walls of rollpaper please";
ism[557] = "She's had her Alsatian taken off her by the police. They might make a dog of it.";
ism[558] = "My wife's on the radioactive ward (radiotherapy ward)";
ism[559] = "Can you tell we where the hospital's expensive care unit is? ";
ism[560] = "There's nothing wrong with that ism really, except they got it the wrong way round";
ism[561] = "He works like a truncheon";
ism[562] = "The kids can play in the quiche";
ism[563] = "I spent the first three months of my life in an incinerator";
ism[564] = "There's a breed of dog called a Nigerian Hatchback";
ism[565] = "The vicar will have his perishers to help him at the fete";
ism[566] = "That well known Spanish drink - Shangrila";
ism[567] = "I like that cricketer called Telescopic";
ism[568] = "You're about as much use as gills on a fish";
ism[569] = "George Bush should send in the MFI to sort out the Arabs";
ism[570] = "I can smell what you're going to tell me";
ism[571] = "The drains are full of human faculties";
ism[572] = "They're all wound up like tuning forks!";
ism[573] = "Hello, this is Rochesters, can you give me an RTA for your delivery driver?";
ism[574] = "The last thing we need here is another black apple rocking the boat";
ism[575] = "We all have closets in our cupboard";
ism[576] = "I would make you a coffee but the decapitator is broken";
ism[577] = "I forgot you could do that with your eyes folded";
ism[578] = "They are just looking for an escape goat";
ism[579] = "He's very tired, he's been busy squatting for his exams";
ism[580] = "They are just looking for a lap donkey";
ism[581] = "Keep your fingers peeled";
ism[582] = "I put my foot down with a firm hand";
ism[583] = "He wears his heart on his arm";
ism[584] = "I'm on cloud 15";
ism[585] = "They've moved the pitch (goal posts)";
ism[586] = "The early worm gets the bird";
ism[587] = "In Paris I was strolling along the Chandeliersay";
ism[588] = "We will be hung, dried and quartered if they find out!";
ism[589] = "He is battling on thin ice";
ism[590] = "He is as sharp as a button";
ism[591] = "I was really impressed with Figaro who plays for Real Madrid";
ism[592] = "At Christmas time do turkeys have an apocalopolips";
ism[593] = "That Jeff, he loves gadgets or anything state of the arc";
ism[594] = "On seeing a photograph of triplets: Are these three twins?";
ism[595] = "I have something in the drainpipe";
ism[596] = "Don't mince hairs!";
ism[597] = "She can take her child to work because there is a quiche there";
ism[598] = "During the war my husband repaired those catameringue flying boats";
ism[599] = "I no longer have those circular smear tests";
ism[600] = "I can't understand Riverdance when they sing in garlic";
ism[601] = "Is this one of those flamingo dancers?";
ism[602] = "He was like a shark through butter";
ism[603] = "It's like taking candy from a chicken";
ism[604] = "We must nip this in the bug";
ism[605] = "That pub is too busy. They're like sardines round a honey pot";
ism[606] = "I wouldn't trust him with a barge pole";
ism[607] = "This room looks like a pig has hit it";
ism[608] = "Barking up a wild goose";
ism[609] = "Stop lolly-gaggling about";
ism[610] = "And if share prices go down, the storeholders won't be happy";
ism[611] = "We extrapolated him from that situation";
ism[612] = "Did you win the new contract, boss?      Au naturel!";
ism[613] = "It's a mute point";
ism[614] = "My daughter has got a lovely new kitchen from MI5";
ism[615] = "You've got more luck than Hartley's";
ism[616] = "Dinosaurs from China use Cathedral and Quay car park";
ism[617] = "Go down to that bordello and buy some of that fruity red wine";
ism[618] = "We need to ensure that we are all singing from the same playing field";
ism[619] = "That will go down like a ton of lead balloons";
ism[620] = "It's enough to drive you up the bend";
ism[621] = "That's another feather to his bow";
ism[622] = "It's as easy as falling off a piece of cake";
ism[623] = "He doesn't mince his punches";
ism[624] = "It's a plain clothes police car";
ism[625] = "She's a back street driver";
ism[626] = "It's fatally obvious";
ism[627] = "It's like the south side of the Eiger";
ism[628] = "You've sent me up here on a false goose leg!";
ism[629] = "We had the house coated with semtex (Sandex)";
ism[630] = "That's a great idea, we could be sitting on a land mine";
ism[631] = "He's as dead as a doughnut";
ism[632] = "I'll give you a ball-point figure";
ism[633] = "PIN number (personal identification number number)";
ism[634] = "That put the wind of God up me!";
ism[635] = "I think it would make him feel more stressless";
ism[636] = "We will be flying at 4am in the morning";
ism[637] = "Well, it's not raining but it's thinking about trying";
ism[638] = "The office move will have to be done in one fell sweep";
ism[639] = "Every worm has his day";
ism[640] = "I suppose these customs officers are trying to catch smug drugglers";
ism[641] = "He was like a pig in a 'tater shop";
ism[642] = "If there were more people here this car park would be full";
ism[643] = "(Looking around for a monument on top of a hill)  Where's this asterix then?";
ism[644] = "That's hit two birds with one stone";
ism[645] = "I changed my telephone number because I was getting unseen phone calls";
ism[646] = "He can't help forgetting - it�s his dimensions";
ism[647] = "Every Tuesday he has wheels on meals";
ism[648] = "Every Monday and Thursday he has meals on walls";
ism[649] = "That well known air freshener........ pott puree";
ism[650] = "Would you like venision? No thanks, I've got a drink! It's deer! I don't care how much it is!";
ism[651] = "Galloping around like a blue-arsed chicken!";
ism[652] = "I couldn't look him in the mirror";
ism[653] = "Let's nip it in the butt!";
ism[654] = "This gel is as sticky as that PVC glue!";
ism[655] = "If he doesn't agree that will really upset the apple tart!";
ism[656] = "Those trees are blocking out all of our privacy!";
ism[657] = "He's only grass-high to a kneehopper!";
ism[658] = "You can't be too complacent and sit back on your morals!";
ism[659] = "They were on their hands and knees praying to Abba!";
ism[660] = "It's the old case of the chicken and the mouse!";
ism[661] = "Well, that's just the engine on the cake!";
ism[662] = "He went as white as a beetroot!";
ism[663] = "Gardening? ....... you should be well on getting your tumours planted!";
ism[664] = "That's put a cog in the works!";
ism[665] = "I'm expecting a steady stampede of buyers for the new Harry Potter Book!";
ism[666] = "Stammerer sufferers are finding it increasingly difficult to talk to anyone about it!";
ism[667] = "English of Journal Graduate sought!";
ism[668] = "I don't want to be around when the flak hits the deck";
ism[669] = "It's all pie in the moon";
ism[670] = "I couldn't give a monkey's coot";
ism[671] = "My car's got declining seats and a venereal roof";
ism[672] = "No one's inflammable";
ism[673] = "I'm caught between the Devil and a hard place";
ism[674] = "He was all over the road without a paddle";
ism[675] = "It's just a blimp on the landscape";
ism[676] = "It's as soft as claggy tarts";
ism[677] = "He's as bent as a ten bob note";
ism[678] = "Oh yes, I'll make sure he has the last laugh";
ism[679] = "He should know the answer, he's Oxfordly educated";
ism[680] = "I'm not Protestant, I'm Church of England";
ism[681] = "She can't be a spinster, she's never been married";
ism[682] = "He was watching the rising sun setting over the horizon";
ism[683] = "I'll treat that with the content it deserves";
ism[684] = "He watched through his one-eyed telescope";
ism[685] = "He ordered a fully cooked continental breakfast";
ism[686] = "The sound of the church bells masqueraded the noise from the basement";
ism[687] = "(What do you think of this desk?)  I don't know, Rog, furniture's not my repartee�.";
ism[688] = "He obtained top secret files from MFI in London";
ism[689] = "He does his weekly shopping every day";
ism[690] = "And now for the shipping forecast: Dogger, Fisher, German Blight�.";
ism[691] = "(On the Asian dowry system�)  What? They have to keep a diary?";
ism[692] = "He was like a red bull at a gate!";
ism[693] = "I wouldn't fancy a motorbike but I wouldn't mind a sidecar";
ism[694] = "Yeah, it looks like he's burnt his breeches ���..";
ism[695] = "We're going to have to pull our socks out on this one!";
ism[696] = "We'd like to give the public more say on lottery donations, through tickboxing for example";
ism[697] = "You want to be careful, you're treading on thin air";
ism[698] = "This only happens once in a blue flood";
ism[699] = "You tell a bag of lies you do, and half of them aren't true";
ism[700] = "He was going off at a tandem";
ism[701] = "She's fallen out with the boss, she's not well endowed with him!";
ism[702] = "I've given him carsh blank";
ism[703] = "This may impede on it";
ism[704] = "Doctor Miriam Striphard";
ism[705] = "This has been raised at the highest level, and it may go even higher";
ism[706] = "He's just a male shoulderless pig!";
ism[707] = "Those are my sediments entirely";
ism[708] = "I'm hungover, I should have absconded from drinking last night";
ism[709] = "My wife's worried, she was pacing the walls last night";
ism[710] = "You can hide, but you can't run";
ism[711] = "Can you collaborate on what was said earlier (elaborate)";
ism[712] = "His mother was keen to get him into rest bite";
ism[713] = "Yes, of course, I'll watch him like a shark";
ism[714] = "It's like the turtle and the rabbit in the race";
ism[715] = "There is a distinct lackage of bar staff";
ism[716] = "I think the big match is on cholesterol TV";
ism[717] = "I need to change my watch back to Greenland Mean Time";
ism[718] = "You have no idea what you're getting in to. You're just chewing the tip of the iceberg.";
ism[719] = "Softly, softly, careful monkey";
ism[720] = "There's only one good bench left on this green and it's knackered!";
ism[721] = "If he really wants to leave the club, I'm sure we can accommodate him";
ism[722] = "Yes, there's cautious ecstasy here ��";
ism[723] = "Talking about vasectomies�.God, it hurt, I'll not do that again!";
ism[724] = "It's not worth the salt it's written on";
ism[725] = "Yes I'm guilty - Mayor Cooper  (mea culpa)";
ism[726] = "Oh look, a heated radiator";
ism[727] = "You can take a duck to water, but you can't make it drink";
ism[728] = "This lot are sheep in wolf's clothing";
ism[729] = "There were whales of laughter";
ism[730] = "Waal, 'e wuz caught exposin' his genials, weren't he?";
ism[731] = "He's like Pavlova's rats";
ism[732] = "People don't think so but I have a self-defecating streak myself�.";
ism[733] = "The French don't even have a word for entrepreneur";
ism[734] = "Welcome aboard flight [xxxx], we will be taking off momentarily...";
ism[735] = "The chickens have come home to roost with a bang!";
ism[736] = "Make sure we're all battling from the same hymn sheet";
ism[737] = "Windows NT Technology";
ism[738] = "The length of compassionate leave agreed by management should be given on a haddock basis";
ism[739] = "We don't want that to become a crutch we can hide behind";
ism[740] = "If we can't get the data, we'll just have to wing it from the hip";
ism[741] = "No man's indelible";
ism[742] = "I had one tequilla and the world fell out of my bottom";
ism[743] = "The Quite American";
ism[744] = "The Italians will have their hands cut out tonight";
ism[745] = "...it was a savage attack. He went down under a positive fusilade of stab-wounds";
ism[746] = "The piste a'la ristonce was the letter that �..";
ism[747] = "My friend on Corfu, he's that religion�you know Greek Orthodontist";
ism[748] = "The proof of the pudding is in the pie";
ism[749] = "We'll burn that bridge when we meet it";
ism[750] = "Durex don't do aural contraceptives";
ism[751] = "If he does that again, I'll come down on him like a house on fire";
ism[752] = "He went out of the room with his tail between his teeth";
ism[753] = "I'm stretched from pillar to post";
ism[754] = "Could you please be more pacific";
ism[755] = "We should press for this emergency statue to be brought in ��";
ism[756] = "He gets right up my goat!";
ism[757] = "There are delays between Admirality junction and�..";
ism[758] = "Accidents aren't my faux pas";
ism[759] = "It'd be a sunny day if it wasn't for the clouds";
ism[760] = "You never know your luck in the cowshed";
ism[761] = "Well you know what thought did��..shit himself!";
ism[762] = "Don't count all your eggs too soon";
ism[763] = "We'll have peer-to-peer reviews";
ism[764] = "Well, that's opened a can of beans";
ism[765] = "He could talk the wheel off a horse";
ism[766] = "She has so many frying pans in the fire at the moment";
ism[767] = "Look at that emancipated dog";
ism[768] = "I hate the constituency of cheese";
ism[769] = "He's got his hands knee-deep in burger mix";
ism[770] = "Q:How much cheese do you want?     A:Oh, just use your excretion.";
ism[771] = "Enemas, 50p a bunch";
ism[772] = "That's pottle            (pot calling the kettle black)";
ism[773] = "Adobe Acrobat 8, a portable PDF document (portable portable DF)";
ism[774] = "He has an invadility pension";
ism[775] = "CABG graft (coronary artery bypass graft graft)";
ism[776] = "If brains were chocolate you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off!";
ism[777] = "Bin Laden should be easy to spot, he's the bloke in the turban";
ism[778] = "Got myself a new shed, 8' by 1' I think?";
ism[779] = "The market is like a game of golf, one pops up and someone else swings it back in the next bunker!";
ism[780] = "Yeah, alcohol, it's a bit like ethanol really!";
ism[781] = "Don't come running to me if you break your legs!";
ism[782] = "You've got to expectorate to accumulate";
ism[783] = "(to tennants) Everyone shares the cost of rot in the common parts, but you pay for the rot in your own private parts";
ism[784] = "Stop bullshitting around the bush!";
ism[785] = "Get me a calendar to drain this spaghetti";
ism[786] = "We should maybe hammer a few pegs into the ground just to make sure we're all singing from the same hymn sheet";
ism[787] = "Go to the shop and buy a packet of desecrated coconut";
ism[788] = "I hate old people, they should be shot at birth";
ism[789] = "Just thought I'd ring and put you in the background";
ism[790] = "I was up 'til three o'clock this morning last night";
ism[791] = "Q: Would you like a refund?  A: No, I'll just have my money back, thank you!";
ism[792] = "I'm as dry as a shark";
ism[793] = "It's as dead as a nit";
ism[794] = "There's a can in my bottle";
ism[795] = "I hope he gets what he wants at the end of the crock of gold";
ism[796] = "The pack of cards effect";
ism[797] = "Like teaching a curate to suck eggs";
ism[798] = "It's going to be a long job - like painting the Titanic";
ism[799] = "Which of those items would you like to put into snowballs for a while?";
ism[800] = "Exterminating circumstances";
ism[801] = "The head's legal guidebook is quite a thick tomb";
ism[802] = "Is there anything you'd like to ask me while I've got all my fingertips?";
ism[803] = "The 1989 Magna Carta celebrations will be held in the Abbey National. (Abbey Gardens)";
ism[804] = "I don't want a day by day blow";
ism[805] = "Head teacher on parents: They demand their ounce of flesh";
ism[806] = "Running a school is as easy as ABC";
ism[807] = "Q: How will you make this assembly on yo-yos last?  A: We'll spin it out!";
ism[808] = "Our staff must receive a Health and Safety induction. Have you been induced?";
ism[809] = "Q: Sorry, did you say something?  A: No, I was just talking out loud.";
ism[810] = "Well, whatever floats your goat ....";
ism[811] = "I'm not paranoid.....I've been watching them all morning!";
ism[812] = "Embrace yourselves girls.....";
ism[813] = "On another day we might have scored 5 or 6 goals today";
ism[814] = "Q: Do you know Stuart's surname?   A: Stuart who?";
ism[815] = "Their email server is down again!! I'm going to send them an e-mail to let them know!";
ism[816] = "A seagull in the hand is worth two on the groyne";
ism[817] = "Honestly, it's like banging your head up against a brick window!";
ism[818] = "I can read you like a bus";
ism[819] = "That well know tube of cream for pile relief: Arsenal";
ism[820] = "He was clear as a button";
ism[821] = "The proof will be in the pudding";
ism[822] = "I'll use this lacerated knife to cut it";
ism[823] = "Bonfire night will be safer because of the new self and hasty regulations";
ism[824] = "If you want one you'd better hurry, they're selling like hens teeth";
ism[825] = "Swing through the ball keeping your shoulder under your right chin";
ism[826] = "Can we use DNA from the sperm sample to establish the sex of the offender?";
ism[827] = "(On Paul Burrell's book) It would mortify our mother if she were alive today.";
ism[828] = "Men would like to have multiple organisms too.";
ism[829] = "Running round like tits in a trance";
ism[830] = "Yes, they're a devoted couple - they'll probably outlive each other!";
ism[831] = "It won't be long before you can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel!";
ism[832] = "If the cap fits, weigh it!";
ism[833] = "When is this New Year's Eve Party happening?";
ism[834] = "It's null and devoid";
ism[835] = "I haven't looked at it through a fine tooth comb";
ism[836] = "Let's get this ball on the road!";
ism[837] = "The boss has just given me a right earhole about that cockup!";
ism[838] = "Not to worry, I've got my foot under the door already!";
ism[839] = "What time did this clock stop?";
ism[840] = "That's a turnaround for the books";
ism[841] = "Nip it in the bud at the thin end of the wedge";
ism[842] = "Sorry, I misunderheard you!";
ism[843] = "I could follow most of what he said but then he went off on a tandem!";
ism[844] = "Life is a big wheel, just when you think it's all over it comes back and bites you!";
ism[845] = "At the end of the day, I come to work in the morning and go home at night!";
ism[846] = "Italian is not my forte!";
ism[847] = "I won't be shoe-horned into a cul-de-sac!";
ism[848] = "That's just oil under the troubled bridge!";
ism[849] = "I'm really tired, I'll sleep like a dog tonight!";
ism[850] = "He's at the last ditch hotel!";
ism[851] = "It's like the Spanish Intuition, nobody expected that!";
ism[852] = "You're getting a bit too clever for your boots!";
ism[853] = "I'm in a catch 52 situation!";
ism[854] = "I've shot myself in the back and stabbed myself in the foot!";
ism[855] = "This is not totally pre-fabricated!";
ism[856] = "Now go on - take your hook!";
ism[857] = "Don't listen.....it's just tickle tackle!";
ism[858] = "I fancy going to the wet and wildfowl park this afternoon!";
ism[859] = "He's a bit lapsy daisy!";
ism[860] = "I didn't like her attitude, she was a bit of a clever closet!";
ism[861] = "He wouldn't say boo to a goo!";
ism[862] = "Like a slaughter to the lambs!";
ism[863] = "He's uncoordinated when he runs.....all dangly!";
ism[864] = "You would like that, it's right up your lane!";
ism[865] = "He's wearing a Burgerhouse jacket!";
ism[866] = "Hey, John, what's Geordie Smith's first name?";
ism[867] = "I had an early meeting, I had to be up at the crack of nails";
ism[868] = "Quick, let's make a beehive for the door";
ism[869] = "You've been in the job for months, you must have your feet firmly under the carpet";
ism[870] = "The coffee was quite arid!";
ism[871] = "Master of all trades and jack of the land";
ism[872] = "This requires some literal thinking";
ism[873] = "I was sandwiched in a cavalade";
ism[874] = "Don't go out and shoot the devil";
ism[875] = "I have a few minuet meetings knocking around today";
ism[876] = "Is that what I get, a tertiary wave?";
ism[877] = "From egg-corns deformed oaks will grow";
ism[878] = "It's like milking teeth";
ism[879] = "That platform is a blank canvas";
ism[880] = "Critical thinking is, we're on a moving feast";
ism[881] = "I eat those by the Trojan";
ism[882] = "This is going to be a close run ship";
ism[883] = "He has a bee between his bonnet";
ism[884] = "I've been left out to rack and dry";
ism[885] = "I got really, really annoyed and in the end I lost my bat";
ism[886] = "I think familiarity is beginning to breed content";
ism[887] = "I'm caught between a rock and a harbour";
ism[888] = "Give him a camcorder and he thinks he's Stephen Spiegelberger";
ism[889] = "We've had more snow than you can shake a stick at!";
ism[890] = "The winter of 1846 was the worst in living memory!";
ism[891] = "He was from the Noise Debating Society!";
ism[892] = "I laughed my eyes out";
ism[893] = "I feel like I'm going round and round in a circus";
ism[894] = "Why don't you just paint it a nice mongolia";
ism[895] = "Ronnie O'Sullivan is the best thing that's happened to snooker since Tiger Woods!";
ism[896] = "I had Cumbernauld sausage for lunch";
ism[897] = "Let's prioritise that for later";
ism[898] = "That'll be one large beesechurger, please!";
ism[899] = "He was like a bullet in a china shop";
ism[900] = "We'll have to pout for more business";
ism[901] = "I had them eating putty out of my hands";
ism[902] = "You just take me for credit!";
ism[903] = "Surgeon suspended over a bowl of soup";
ism[904] = "I work in a 365 days a week business";
ism[905] = "She crashed her car on the bridge; she's a very erotic driver";
ism[906] = "If you do that again I'll shoot the little green boots off you";
ism[907] = "Stop driving so fast, you're going to give me a whipneck";
ism[908] = "They've shot the hand that laid the golden goose";
ism[909] = "Peter: I though they'd cleared all street traders out of here?   Trader: They have but we're bony fido";
ism[910] = "He had one of those Beckham tomahawk haircuts";
ism[911] = "I've got an Alfa Morayo car";
ism[912] = "I'm sorry he's not here, he's in the other orifice";
ism[913] = "He got an ex gracias payment";
ism[914] = "He put his finger right on the nail";
ism[915] = "He was pruning himself in the mirror";
ism[916] = "They are far and few between";
ism[917] = "It's slander, it's definition of character";
ism[918] = "There's a complete lack of indiscipline in the team";
ism[919] = "He's had three attempts on goal and neither of them were any good";
ism[920] = "We went off like a bag of prawns in the midday sun";
ism[921] = "It's alright for you men, it's us girls who put up with all this pre-mental suspension";
ism[922] = "Zwei grand beer, sil vous plait";
ism[923] = "The dogs were... they were... just like... animals";
ism[924] = "Move off the grass Tony, I want to hoover the lawn";
ism[925] = "The Regional RMT (regional regional management team)";
ism[926] = "Here comes our illustrated manager";
ism[927] = "They're looking down the barrel of an unwanted record";
ism[928] = "I'm going on another shore excretion";
ism[929] = "Barking up a blind alley";
ism[930] = "He sat at the bar and drank himself into Bolivia";
ism[931] = "Rub a dub dub, three men in a toothpaste tube";
ism[932] = "That's entirely a horse of a different kettle of fish!";
ism[933] = "Barking up a dead horse!";
ism[934] = "They've tasted the other side of the coin too many times!";
ism[935] = "Italy are going to have to toss their natural ideas away and throw the kitchen sink at this!";
ism[936] = "We were in white vehicles with leopard stripes on the sides";
ism[937] = "The stationary (sic) store has moved to another location";
ism[938] = "Oooh, look, the little ones are ginormous!";
ism[939] = "Which is why you could hear eyebrows being raised by the opposition today!";
ism[940] = "Juninho really took the ball by the horns today!";
ism[941] = "It's different when the boot's in the other court!";
ism[942] = "The house will stay very warm because it has great installation.";
ism[943] = "That new biography contains a great little antidote about someone we know.";
ism[944] = "Quick he's choking - I'll do the Heinrich manoeuvre";
ism[945] = "That's let the bean out of the bag!";
ism[946] = "Those Honkinese people are very friendly.";
ism[947] = "Can I have a packet of Kodacolour black and white film.";
ism[948] = "I've been sold down the drain!";
ism[949] = "He's much better now he's on valient tablets.";
ism[950] = "It's that ultra-violent light that's doing all the damage!";
ism[951] = "Re: butcher's shops. Sawdust is unhygienic because of its orgasms.";
ism[952] = "When I was very young, I was born.";
ism[953] = "Is it a bird, or just a duck or something?";
ism[954] = "Closed due to illness, sorry for any convenience.";
ism[955] = "That would put a carwash on it!";
ism[956] = "Ah-hah! The upper hand is on the other foot!";
ism[957] = "Don't eat with your mouth full!";
ism[958] = "Don't talk with your mouth open!";
ism[959] = "Take that advice with a dose of salts!";
ism[960] = "Drink will be the urination of us all.";
ism[961] = "He bled like a stuffed pig!";
ism[962] = "He's a touch stereotypist";
ism[963] = "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my Mother and Father.";
ism[964] = "It wasn't last time, it was the time after that!";
ism[965] = "These plates weigh a fortune!";
ism[966] = "That's disgraceful, he's a married man but he's theanderling with another woman!";
ism[967] = "Well, you know, we are not really out of the woodwork yet!";
ism[968] = "Drive to the gas station as fast as you can, before we run out of petrol!";
ism[969] = "How much big is your heart?";
ism[970] = "She had a face like the back end of a slapped cow!";
ism[971] = "Bargain! Buy now at this year's prices!";
ism[972] = "My job now is to reduce the decifit!";
ism[973] = "A 12-inch bolognaise without pizza, please!";
ism[974] = "I'm gonna fire a Bismark across 'em!";
ism[975] = "It was emailed out the back door.";
ism[976] = "That looks like apples and pears. Look, there's a lemon and there's a plum.";
ism[977] = "We need to cut to the chaff.";
ism[978] = "�it was falling on deft ears.";
ism[979] = "He's just melted-off into the significance.";
ism[980] = "You two were born at the hip.";
ism[981] = "Oh, what's brought that cheerful little antidote up."; 
ism[982] = "Naivety, naivety�is it the 25th of December?"; 
ism[983] = "I'll be hung, drawn and gallowed."; 
ism[984] = "Just remember the saying - cream never melts.";  
ism[985] = "I know you're busy, but it's not just a cruise in the woods you know."; 
ism[986] = "GLA striking forth into the anals of history."; 
ism[987] = "Grief, you'll soon be bible-belting at this rate."; 
ism[988] = "How to kill a cat other than choke it with butter."; 
ism[989] = "It's like football - it's the rub of the green."; 
ism[990] = "If we're looking at it as a diving board for the next stage, we may as well retranch into our shell."; 
ism[991] = "I'm easy-easy-over like a boiled egg.";
ism[992] = "It's a jar with a lid on it and you don't want people going off and redesigning wheels!"; 
ism[993] = "They follow the eyes and dot the tees."; 
ism[994] = "If you did that, you'd crack two birds with one stone!";
ism[995] = "Cumulative�like the clouds in the sky."; 
ism[996] = "You may hide, but you'll not be in."; 
ism[997] = "There's a cacophony of rodents in our barn."; 
ism[998] = "Did you see the weather yesterday? It was thundering and shooting sticks."; 
ism[999] = "We're in this bloody cleft stick again."; 
ism[1000] = "Local government - it's all loops within loops.";
ism[1001] = "Your job has become sedimentary."; 
ism[1002] = "She told me some stories that made my blood curl."; 
ism[1003] = "Some of our staff don't quite shoe-horn into our keystone."; 
ism[1004] = "I acquired my three or four custodial watches at the weekend."; 
ism[1005] = "I thought he was going to be pretty miserable, but in the end he just joculated with me."; 
ism[1006] = "I thought you might want to sit where the sun sets, drinking its cocktails."; 
ism[1007] = "An ATM machine (automated teller machine machine)"; 
ism[1008] = "I wouldn't have got that in a million dollars!"; 
ism[1009] = "I worked on that with half my hands tied up!"; 
ism[1010] = "I don't want to be thought of as a one-joke-horse!"; 
ism[1011] = "When her Grandad died, he was so fat he was obeast!"; 
ism[1012] = "I enjoyed that beef stew, next Sunday I'll knock up a nice chicken chaser!"; 
ism[1013] = "That fish I had for lunch was delicious, it just rolled of the tip of my tongue!"; 
ism[1014] = "I can't do anything without something happening"; 
ism[1015] = "I don't know what you think, I mean I was just talking out loud"; 
ism[1016] = "I really want to get my coat on about this, and sort it out"; 
ism[1017] = "This music is like water over my back"; 
ism[1018] = "Would you have that chronic irrigation done?"; 
ism[1019] = "Well, that's stripping it down to the bones, once you've got the bones, what's left?"; 
ism[1020] = "I can watch Hollyoaks until my eyes go numb"; 
ism[1021] = "I left the nest even before I could walk"; 
ism[1022] = "I like black - it's very monochrome"; 
ism[1023] = "She had bad breath - mixematosis"; 
ism[1024] = "This is like pulling straws out of your backside!"; 
ism[1025] = "Everyone was dinking and having a laugh and I was like the Kilroy at the party"; 
ism[1026] = "She'll be all over you like a rash on a stick"; 
ism[1027] = "He was writing his autobiographical memoirs"; 
ism[1028] = "Growing more and more infinite"; 
ism[1029] = "I'll be driving home tonight, in the cold light of day, thinking about that decision"; 
ism[1030] = "They've got a big detached house with panasonic views!"; 
ism[1031] = "If I'm not in, I'll be out!";
ism[1032] = "We've got a quarter of pie each, but I've left a bit in case anyone wants some more!";
ism[1033] = "I've got pies in so many fingers";
ism[1034] = "You can argue 'til you're blue in the teeth!";
ism[1035] = "Well done, that really has put the jam on the cake!";
ism[1036] = ".....even though we're getting off on a swansong!";
ism[1037] = "I couldn't seem to make head nor sense of it!";
ism[1038] = "His writing looked like he was well out of salts!";
ism[1039] = "You would have liked her, she was a broiler chicken dressed up as a cockeral";
ism[1040] = "She's champion at the bits now!";
ism[1041] = "There's a platitude of different types of phones available.";
ism[1042] = "I thought that might have exacerbated some little freudian quip";
ism[1043] = "I can't play Mr. Devil's advocate!";
ism[1044] = "I slipped into a real state of flux on ebay";
ism[1045] = "Take me out for lunch and give me a coup de gras!";
ism[1046] = "I'd rather be hung for a pig, rather than a sheep.";
ism[1047] = "I've had enough of this, we need to kill it on the head.....now!";
ism[1048] = "We need to sit down and go through this with a fine toothpick!";
ism[1049] = "Q: Have you got any AA batteries, Joyce?    A: No, but I might have some A4 ones!";
ism[1050] = "Mateus Doumbe has not put a breath wrong this afternoon!";
ism[1051] = "He made a complete dog's meal of that!";
ism[1052] = "Just between these three walls, we're stuffed!";
ism[1053] = "Ahh,  but it depends what you mean by semantics.";
ism[1054] = "I wouldn't do that for all the money in China!";
ism[1055] = "Let's look at the annual things that we do every year!";
ism[1056] = "He said it through grated teeth!";
ism[1057] = "Ah, those were the halogen days.";
ism[1058] = "Don't count your chicken's 'til the ink's dry!";
ism[1059] = "They have developed a new ground breaking yacht!";
ism[1060] = "He's gone in for an autopsy on his lump.";
ism[1061] = "You're just scratching the tip of the iceberg!";
ism[1062] = "I'll have a pork of bag scratchings please!";
ism[1063] = "I may sail close to the wind, but I never break it!";
ism[1064] = "All of a sudden we heard a notorious bang!";
ism[1065] = "I let go more fish than I caught!";
ism[1066] = "I feel like a part at a spare wedding";
ism[1067] = "We're really tripping the light fandango now!";
ism[1068] = "I would suggest that it's a barometer that we just feed things into.";
ism[1069] = "It's like trying to talk to running sands round this place sometimes!";
ism[1070] = "What am I supposed to do? Jump around like a headless camel?";
ism[1071] = "This could well be Chinese whispers and I'm likely to miss the colon!";
ism[1072] = "I go through a spasm of a couple of months!";
ism[1073] = "I've had a spout of headaches.";
ism[1074] = "They have a very strong case in the water!";
ism[1075] = "I hate not being in control of my own destination.";
ism[1076] = "It's like putting a sail on the Titanic - everyone would just run off on tangents!";
ism[1077] = "They're from D&G opticians, you know Dolland & Aitchison?";
ism[1078] = "Then, woe & betide, this happens!";
ism[1079] = "There were no tickets left, they've been selling like hot cross buns!";
ism[1080] = "I went pitch white, I did!";
ism[1081] = "I wonder how many chips there are in this bag of calories?";
ism[1082] = "I gave birth to my kids one at a time!";
ism[1083] = "She made the winning goal and her team won the game!";
ism[1084] = "It sounds like hieroglyphics to me.";
ism[1085] = "What you've got to remember is, a lot of football is played between the ears, you know, in the heart!";
ism[1086] = "His development has been norman.";
ism[1087] = "Natural mother pasted away due to a traffic accident.";
ism[1088] = "She gave him an ultimation.";
ism[1089] = "He was old enough to be her grandfather, and her father's father. ";
ism[1090] = "He was noted to use negative and fowl language!";
ism[1091] = "He has exhibited uncontrollable episodes of anger management towards others.";
ism[1092] = "She was arrested twice for assault and batter.";
ism[1093] = "When asked if he liked his job, he replied, 'it brings in the ends meet.'";
ism[1094] = "He remains vigilante to his environment.";
ism[1095] = "Q:What's one thing you wish was different about yourself: A:My intelligents.";
ism[1096] = "I've being lying awake at night worrying about my insomnia.";
ism[1097] = "Hang on, I'm literally getting into my drawer now!";
ism[1098] = "Going to the dentist is like pulling teeth. ";
ism[1099] = "Our Christmas traditions are different every year. ";
ism[1100] = "Getting caught drinking and driving is a sobering experience. ";
ism[1101] = "Jokes are just funny lies..... or truths. ";
ism[1102] = "You're getting a new refurbished computer. ";
ism[1103] = "Technically we're covered but are we covered technically. ";
ism[1104] = "It'll rain or shine depending on the weather. ";
ism[1105] = "My net pay is gross. ";
ism[1106] = "Buying car parts is highway robbery. ";
ism[1107] = "I'm addicted to one coffee a day. ";
ism[1108] = "I'm not worried about market testing. We're hands and knees above the firms!";
ism[1109] = "I don't mind putting my head on the parapet.";
ism[1110] = "It's disgusting - I feel like burying them in their own mire."; 
ism[1111] = "She's gone off on her trolley."; 
ism[1112] = "My politics have always been very tender."; 
ism[1113] = "Gosh, one million pounds an hour�that's twenty-five million pounds a day.";
ism[1114] = "We're wringing the cat to get the blood out.";
ism[1115] = "He may not be the brightest apple in the barrel, but he does his best.";
ism[1116] = "Anything that goes against my christian principles is anatomy to me.";
ism[1117] = "To all extents and purposes she is stunningly attractive.";
ism[1118] = "I should be putting weight on by the gallon."; 
ism[1119] = "He's organising a concert in aid of the tassunni."; 
ism[1120] = "Its all a load of gobble-de-book."; 
ism[1121] = "Right, that�s it, the snail has turned!" ;
ism[1122] = "Well, just don�t go cutting all your bridges";
ism[1123] = "I just don�t know what to do, I�m going to sit on the gate over this one";
ism[1124] = "The noise you were making last night! You were snoring like a fish!";
ism[1125] = "Oh, just look at that dog, it�s full of the beans of spring";
ism[1126] = "If she was alive today she�d be turning in her grave";
ism[1127] = "She�s malicious you know. Seems alright to me, dear. No, she�s from Malicious. Do you mean MAURITIUS? Yes, that�s right";
ism[1128] = "Oh, Britain has won a Gold Medal in the Olympics. Really, dear, who was that? I don�t know but he comes from New South Wales";
ism[1129] = "I quite like her now. I�ve grown on her";
ism[1130] = "Well, if you ask me, that was just a white herring"; 
ism[1131] = "I can smell your obo (Haribo) fruits.";
ism[1132] = "Ian's bought me some rosemary beads.";
ism[1133] = "Its a recipe in all the wrong directions."; 
ism[1134] = "I've had three things to do today and I've been railroaded off all of them."; 
ism[1135] = "Colin was the flavour of Geoff's eye.";
ism[1136] = "I've been on Friends Reinvented."; 
ism[1137] = "That�s really set the fly amongst the pigeons.";
ism[1138] = "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.";
ism[1139] = "How old was Dawn�s baby when it was born?";
ism[1140] = "Well at least he didn�t go away thinking we were all Mormons!";
ism[1141] = "Does Big Brother really know what he or she is doing?";
ism[1142] = "Gerry: When is my next appointment? Receptionist: I can't see it here. The Doctor must have written it down verbally!";
ism[1143] = "It's all bridge under the water!";
ism[1144] = "#1:The Barbican is busy for a Thursday night!  #2:Steve, it's Friday!  #1:It's quiet then!";
ism[1145] = "It's like a Milestone round my neck!";
ism[1146] = "Patience comes to those who wait!";
ism[1147] = "Your barking on the wrong end of the stick!";
ism[1148] = "When Puss comes to shove!";
ism[1149] = "That would be Marilyn Monroe singing 'Happy Birthday Mr President' to KFC!";
ism[1150] = "I don't want to bang my own trumpet, but ....";
ism[1151] = "We are asking all employees to park on the exterior parameters of the parking lots by Burns Hall to accommodate the guests!";
ism[1152] = "Where is everybody? Its like the Cutty Sark in here!";
ism[1153] = "I'll just throw in the white flower, shall I?";
ism[1154] = "We'll sell that bugger like a dose of hot salts!";
ism[1155] = "He's a bright enough cuckoo to work at home and live the life of O'Reilly.";
ism[1156] = "A mustard yellow sports jacket with a pin-square check on it.";
ism[1157] = "They're both from the exact same school of pigeon-hole.";
ism[1158] = "My sweets have deplenished at a rate of knots.";
ism[1159] = "If I'm driving the Porsche, everybody clears the decks.";
ism[1160] = "At the end of the day, this little forray finishes when I throw the gauntlet into the ashes.";
ism[1161] = "Not paying us and not knowing why constitutes nothing less then a double entende.";
ism[1162] = "I bought some stunning old jazz and country & western LP's at the car boot: Gerry Halliday and Ella Fitzberry.";
ism[1163] = "I need a day to take the skirmish off the top of things";
ism[1164] = "I don't give a toss what you wear, you can even wear a 'pink-a-dot' bikini for all I care!";
ism[1165] = "It was called a Tri-lander, you know, four rows of two seats.";
ism[1166] = "It was held together like a Renault Reliant.";
ism[1167] = "I don't think I'll suffer from senile dimension."; 
ism[1168] = "My brother is a real live cannon.";
ism[1169] = "I just wanted to make sure that we're all singing from the same hymn-speak.";
ism[1170] = "It sounds like you've been clatter-banging with a jamborine.";
ism[1171] = "Send them both down Mr Misery Lane.";
ism[1172] = "Fievel: What's the job number? Ange: 1066. Fievel: Oh, 1066, the Fire of London.";
ism[1173] = "That's a real hummer of a scheme. ";
ism[1174] = "It sounds like you're using a sledgehammer to crack a molehill.";
ism[1175] = "He's not gay, he shoots from the hip.";
ism[1176] = "I was frozen at the hilt.";
ism[1177] = "My brother is about to return to the country after five years out as a tex axle.";
ism[1178] = "The planners have gone off to planet cloo-cloo land on this one.";
ism[1179] = "That dog's as mad as a hatter from planet cuckoo land.";
ism[1180] = "He was going up and down like a dog at a fair.";
ism[1181] = "I'm not even on the same roundabout as you.";
ism[1182] = "Quack-off!";
ism[1183] = "I couldn't care a what!";
ism[1184] = "Braile, that's so�the deaf can read";
ism[1185] = "I'm absolutely shattered today, I was aroused last night by boisterous neighbours.";
ism[1186] = "I wish I could be a fly in their soup!";
ism[1187] = "I'm cracking my head off!";
ism[1188] = "He was standing there wearing his feather boater on his head!";
ism[1189] = "when you look at it in the day light of cold ....";
ism[1190] = "Dick Cheney is planning a whirlwind tour of the New Orleans area following last week�s hurricane ";
ism[1191] = "I suppose they expect him to pull the string out the hat again!";
ism[1192] = "Well that's another frittato for the ledger";
ism[1193] = "Well that 1 - 0 has got us a foot in the hat for Saturday's draw";
ism[1194] = "It's getting really windy outside - it must be the calm before the storm!";
ism[1195] = "He's spat out his toys again!";
ism[1196] = "He's like a duck out of water' ... 'what, you mean flying?";
ism[1197] = "He's got his finger on the ball today!";
ism[1198] = "Since our last match we have remained unbeaten!";
ism[1199] = "Please please be very careful if you are heating water in the microwave - it's very easy to scold yourself.";
ism[1200] = "They were practising on godivas - you know, dead bodies!";
ism[1201] = "Keyhole surgery�you're in and out like a yo-yo. ";
ism[1202] = "I just wanted to make sure that we were batting from the same score sheet. ";
ism[1203] = "She's better than some of the old battle-wagons we have to deal with. ";
ism[1204] = "It's like asking for a bottle of Heinz ketchup and getting sent KP. ";
ism[1205] = "Our profession is well nouned for fee quotes. ";
ism[1206] = "I'm willing to bet that there's not a clithero of bright young ladies out there. ";
ism[1207] = "It looks like something neither you or I have seen land on Mars since 1952. ";
ism[1208] = "He didn't hit quite so many branches when he fell out of the 'brains' tree. ";
ism[1209] = "It's water off a ducks head. ";
ism[1210] = "Unless she's on wooden stilts like Mrs Neanderthal she won't see the hole. ";
ism[1211] = "I got caught in a pince-meat movement. ";
ism[1212] = "I must chase that one up before the mud hits the frying pan. ";
ism[1213] = "Get a colour chart and throw a dart board at it, you'll come up with three or four options. ";
ism[1214] = "It's a headless chicken and egg scenario. ";
ism[1215] = "Normally, if it's two pence in the street, that's too much for candy. ";
ism[1216] = "It was bismarked below the waterline�it was a whole flotilla of cannonballs. ";
ism[1217] = "His reputation is going down like a stone on fire. ";
ism[1218] = "He took so much criticism that in the end he had to take a bee in the bonnet. ";
ism[1219] = "It�s a minister of defense site with some strange out-barn-buildings etc. ";
ism[1220] = "You don't even have to think about that one, it�s a no-boner. ";
ism[1221] = "I've got a masters degree in distinction of urbanity so I should know. ";
ism[1222] = "Honestly, some people couldn't organise a pee-up in a brothel. ";
ism[1223] = "Clear as mud? You'd worry if it was as clear as a dishwasher, wouldn't you? ";
ism[1224] = "I think I'm just going to have to make stuff up as I run along. ";
ism[1225] = "I had my bike fixed by a proper manic. ";
ism[1226] = "Do I detect a degree of friviolity here? ";
ism[1227] = "Err�Earth calling planet Nuptune. ";
ism[1228] = "I didn't know we had a new company loggia. (logo) ";
ism[1229] = "More people than you can stick a shake at. ";
ism[1230] = "Do we need to scour so much today or is it all part of our persona non gratis. ";
ism[1231] = "I've completely lost my line of caught. ";
ism[1232] = "They're not easy to get hold of anymore and when one is available it gets snapped up like hot dust. ";
ism[1233] = "That would really drive him round the wall, wouldn't it? ";
ism[1234] = "We could replace the hooter with a 'Clacton' or something. ";
ism[1235] = "This one's grown like a topsy-turvy bean-shoot. ";
ism[1236] = "We're proceeding at a slug's pace. ";
ism[1237] = "I shall keep my ears peeled. ";
ism[1238] = "I'll do you a quick sketch on the back of a thumbnail. ";
ism[1239] = "Look at that little sausage dog, he's running with his legs!!";
ism[1240] = "The library is a minefield of information!";
ism[1241] = "His hair didn't have a blade out of place!";
ism[1242] = "I can't be expected to pull a lawyer out of a rabbit";
ism[1243] = "It's a moving goal-post feast....  ";
ism[1244] = "Get by through the skin of our pants";
ism[1245] = "We're open 365 days a year, 7 days a week!";
ism[1246] = "Bring some food for our lunch-time soiree ��";
ism[1247] = "Question: Name the only English league club that starts with 5 consonants? James Munden: A E I O U United!";
ism[1248] = "We must be careful not to go barking off down the wrong path";
ism[1249] = "When talking about PC Games: 'you can get that special edition dulux pack'";
ism[1250] = "On getting conversations started in hot countries: 'it was a good a way to break the water'";
ism[1251] = "We will be supporting this product with a substandard advertising campaign!";
ism[1252] = "These eyelashes are packed in paris. (pairs)";
ism[1253] = "We are prepared to offer you a 5% disoc*nt!";
ism[1254] = "NHS typos: Metal health, Leaning disabilities, Director of Pubic Health, Violet incidents, Healthy Loving Centre, Community Madwives";
ism[1255] = "But the spanner in the ointment is . . . . ";
ism[1256] = "But Roith Ravers (Raith Rovers) have scored again!";
ism[1257] = "EYMS would like to thank passengers for their patients during these temporary changes";
ism[1258] = "Listen to the dog! He is eating like an animal!";
ism[1259] = "Pupil: 'Sir.... Miss Xxxxx told me not to be impotent in her lessons'";
ism[1260] = "#1: 'How much of the trip have we done?'    #2:'About a third'     #1:'Only three quarters left to do then!'";
ism[1261] = "This offers the whole gannet of clinical audit";
ism[1262] = "When we're doing VIW work (value improvement work work) ��";
ism[1263] = "It seems like a renegade step ";
ism[1264] = "It raised the heckles on the back of my neck";
ism[1265] = "I was as white as a beetroot and I didn't know where to put my eyes.";
ism[1266] = "We put our budgie in a birdary.";
ism[1267] = "I've been running around like a yo-yo.";
ism[1268] = "I've been jumping up and down like a fly, plucking air out of the ether.";
ism[1269] = "The only way you can stop the other side scoring in rugby is through man-to-man marketing.";
ism[1270] = "That's mind-dumbingly boring.";
ism[1271] = "I thought you would be here earlier lumbering up.";
ism[1272] = "Nothing ventured, nothing lost.";
ism[1273] = "I've had enough of him now, he really is skating on thin water.";
ism[1274] = "This problem has now gotten out of hand, its like Pandora's mushroom.";
ism[1275] = "I've got much more important fish to fly.";
ism[1276] = "Its really quiet for Christmas shopping at the moment, it�s the storm before the teacup.";
ism[1277] = "I'm gonna nail him to his mask.";
ism[1278] = "I'm sure you're trying to drive me up the bats.";
ism[1279] = "I have a cold pouring out of my head and I've thrown half a box of Kleenex at it, all to no regale.";
ism[1280] = "His family has the headcold too, they've been going down like the flies.";
ism[1281] = "Why does every comment have to be accompanied with some little ditty or analogue.";
ism[1282] = "Talking to you is like tying a rocket to a pidgeon's toe and throwing it back at a brick wall.";
ism[1283] = "I tried calling him until I was mad in the face.";
ism[1284] = "You blew the cat out of the market the other day.";
ism[1285] = "I'll treat that with the augustus it deserves.";
ism[1286] = "I just can't work like this, my machine is a world unto itself.";
ism[1287] = "I'm going now, if I'm not back in half an hour send out the cattlery.";
ism[1288] = "He was struck in the ape of his back.";
ism[1289] = "You continue to abuse me despite my protestants.";
ism[1290] = "That idea doesn't wear water with you, does it?";
ism[1291] = "I'm getting buttered and twittered in my old age.";
ism[1292] = "You're confusing things - that�s nothing more than a white herring.";
ism[1293] = "You wouldn't do that if the boot was on the other fruit.";
ism[1294] = "He was just about to leave but then he gave me his party shot.";
ism[1295] = "Its six of one and half a dozen of nothing.";
ism[1296] = "His house was huge, it was like manor from heaven.";
ism[1297] = "Someone's just lampooned my credit card.";
ism[1298] = "That's what you get when its design by committee - a headless camel.";
ism[1299] = "As the old saying goes - dodgy on your pins, cute as a cookie.";
ism[1300] = "Oh, to be a camera on the wall.";
ism[1301] = "She's got PMT - pre-tensural mention.";
ism[1302] = "He doesn't know what he's doing, he's a nutter, he's the wrong side of the question mark.";
ism[1303] = "He's got me to thank for passing his exams. After Allen left, I was his minataur.";
ism[1304] = "I've more holes in the wall than goudan cheese.";
ism[1305] = "If the weather is good I'll sit by the lake in my little pernola.";
ism[1306] = "I'm not as thick as cabbage looking am I?";
ism[1307] = "You must be ready to go on holiday by now. Have you ticked your passport and had your insulation jabs?";
ism[1308] = "I don't have such a strong work-ethnic.";
ism[1309] = "I'm about as far forward as a brick.";
ism[1310] = "They had everything at their reception, it was all whistles and flute.";
ism[1311] = "Be careful of all the little insects and midgets in your tent!";
ism[1312] = "What do you call people who watch accidents - hoggers?";
ism[1313] = "Don't be so cheeky, I feel totally misaligned.";
ism[1314] = "We all have a few elephants in the cupboard.";
ism[1315] = "You pay for what you get.";
ism[1316] = "They should get a 'quick-fix' divorce.";
ism[1317] = "and then it came to me, out of the blind.";
ism[1318] = "They're making money, hand over foot.";
ism[1319] = "He's gone to Copenhagen for a stag-do�and you know what those dutch are like.";
ism[1320] = "I am unconsciously aware of that.";
ism[1321] = "Don't bite off more than you can choose.";
ism[1322] = "He wants everything, the whole monte-christum.";
ism[1323] = "That's gonna look like a right dog's breakfast.";
ism[1324] = "Talk about calling wolf.";
ism[1325] = "My mum's going to give her old furniture away to homeless people.";
ism[1326] = "I'll show her the rough end of my tongue.";
ism[1327] = "There's something wrong but I can't quite put my head on it.";
ism[1328] = "She's just like her mum, she's a cardboard copy.";
ism[1329] = "That's not my idea of a cup of tea.";
ism[1330] = "The 'Duch and Duchess' don't always open their grounds up anymore.";
ism[1331] = "Rubbing his face in the salt.";
ism[1332] = "You can't look a gifthorse in the head.";
ism[1333] = "I'll go before you throw your sandwiches out of the cot.";
ism[1334] = "I got given a white cat; it was as deaf as a dodo.";
ism[1335] = "The 3D model allows you to wander around the building as if you were a helicopter.";
ism[1336] = "Honestly, you talk to me sometimes as if I was the dog's donkey.";
ism[1337] = "She was a hypnothist apparently, but who knows it could be all lu-lu.";
ism[1338] = "I was completely irated with her.";
ism[1339] = "He's looking at me with moist-tinted sunglasses at the moment.";
ism[1340] = "She's as mad as two short planks.";
ism[1341] = "You pay for what you get and you get for what you pay for.";
ism[1342] = "They've gone down hill, like a bat out of hell.";
ism[1343] = "I shall de-siphon the document and report back.";
ism[1344] = "Now you're rubbing salt into the woods.";
ism[1345] = "I just get it in the lip.";
ism[1346] = "A photograph tells a thousand pictures.";
ism[1347] = "I felt like a lamb to the slaughterhouse born.";
ism[1348] = "We've got the bloody lot, there's even bats in our hornets.";
ism[1349] = "You need to grab the nettle by the throat and shake it.";
ism[1350] = "I find myself perpetually chasing pumpkins when everyone only wants apples.";
ism[1351] = "He's just like Harry Sugar, you know the boss of Armstrong.";
ism[1352] = "I used to smoke like a fish.";
ism[1353] = "My musical tastes are quite catholectic.";
ism[1354] = "He was chairman of the local RIBA sect, a real Hoo-La-Henry.";
ism[1355] = "He was spot-on, he scored a direct bonsai.";
ism[1356] = "It's vitally important that, having reached this stage, no-one lets go of the brick.";
ism[1357] = "This duck is now en-route to being on-line.";
ism[1358] = "I've just lifted my head above the barrel-pit.";
ism[1359] = "So the whistle's been blown on the emperor's new clothes!";
ism[1360] = "Question marks will have to be asked after that performance!";
ism[1361] = "What did you do, wake up smelling the wrong coffee?";
ism[1362] = "The ballpark is in your hands now. ";
ism[1363] = "I�ll get to that some time in the FAR future (meaning near future) ";
ism[1364] = "To introduce our new menu, we at the Triton Inn will welcome you on Friday nights with a taste of Bucks Fizz and Canopies";
ism[1365] = "We've got a suzuki in our bathroom!";
ism[1366] = "I'll be there in an observatory capacity";
ism[1367] = "It's a bit of a loose cannonball in my mind at the moment";
ism[1368] = "Following an intervention from Prince Charles, a British Yorkshireman has been released from a Pakistani jail.";
ism[1369] = "The money raised for Children in Need from this area stands at one hundred and seventy three thousand pounds four hundred and eighty eight pence.";
ism[1370] = "Can the Welsh derail the New Zealand steamroller?";
ism[1371] = "If people are off sick then we will have to step into the brink!";
ism[1372] = "Caution. Soup may become hot on heating!";
ism[1373] = "The Project Definition Document (PID)";

auth[0] = "Database 1973-2006";
auth[1] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[2] = "Gordon Scott";
auth[3] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[4] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[5] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[6] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[7] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[8] = "Union shop steward";
auth[9] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[10] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[11] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[12] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[13] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[14] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[15] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[16] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[17] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[18] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[19] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[20] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[21] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[22] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[23] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[24] = "Jim Owens";
auth[25] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[26] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[27] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[28] = "Alan Woods";
auth[29] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[30] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[31] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[32] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[33] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[34] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[35] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[36] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[37] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[38] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[39] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[40] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[41] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[42] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[43] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[44] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[45] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[46] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[47] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[48] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[49] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[50] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[51] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[52] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[53] = "Anne Martin";
auth[54] = "Anne Martin";
auth[55] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[56] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[57] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[58] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[59] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[60] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[61] = "Ian Bowley";
auth[62] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[63] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[64] = "Anne Martin";
auth[65] = "Ian Bowley's brother-in-law";
auth[66] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[67] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[68] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[69] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[70] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[71] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[72] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[73] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[74] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[75] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[76] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[77] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[78] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[79] = "Frank Tracey";
auth[80] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[81] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[82] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[83] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[84] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[85] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[86] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[87] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[88] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[89] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[90] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[91] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[92] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[93] = "Geoff Martin";
auth[94] = "Bob Evans";
auth[95] = "Geoff Martin";
auth[96] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[97] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[98] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[99] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[100] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[101] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[102] = "Terry Wogan";
auth[103] = "Martin Carrell";
auth[104] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[105] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[106] = "Radio 3 News";
auth[107] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[108] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[109] = "Ian Bowley's brother-in-law";
auth[110] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[111] = "An unknown Planner/Estimator";
auth[112] = "An unknown Planner/Estimator";
auth[113] = "An unknown Planner/Estimator";
auth[114] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[115] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[116] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[117] = "Radio 2 News";
auth[118] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[119] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[120] = "Sheila Pottinger";
auth[121] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[122] = "Alan Woods";
auth[123] = "Frank Johnson";
auth[124] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[125] = "Alan Woods";
auth[126] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[127] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[128] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[129] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[130] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[131] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[132] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[133] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[134] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[135] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[136] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[137] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[138] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[139] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[140] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[141] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[142] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[143] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[144] = "Sylvia Pottinger";
auth[145] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[146] = "Alan Woods";
auth[147] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[148] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[149] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[150] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[151] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[152] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[153] = "Anne Martin";
auth[154] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[155] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[156] = "Ian Bowley's brother-in-law";
auth[157] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[158] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[159] = "Ian Bowley";
auth[160] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[161] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[162] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[163] = "Jimmy Ledger - RHA Head of Statistics";
auth[164] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[165] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[166] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[167] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[168] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[169] = "Ian Bowley's brother-in-law";
auth[170] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[171] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[172] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[173] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[174] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[175] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[176] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[177] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[178] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[179] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[180] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[181] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[182] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[183] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[184] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[185] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[186] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[187] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[188] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[189] = "Ian Bowley's brother-in-law";
auth[190] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[191] = "O&M Report";
auth[192] = "O&M Report";
auth[193] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[194] = "Geoff Martin";
auth[195] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[196] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[197] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[198] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[199] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[200] = "Anne Martin";
auth[201] = "Bob Evans";
auth[202] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[203] = "Anne Martin";
auth[204] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[205] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[206] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[207] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[208] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[209] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[210] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[211] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[212] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[213] = "Ian Bowley";
auth[214] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[215] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[216] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[217] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[218] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[219] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[220] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[221] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[222] = "Karen Lloyd's mother";
auth[223] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[224] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[225] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[226] = "Bob Evans";
auth[227] = "Anne Martin";
auth[228] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[229] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[230] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[231] = "Hospital out-patient";
auth[232] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[233] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[234] = "Sylvia Pottinger";
auth[235] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[236] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[237] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[238] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[239] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[240] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[241] = "Syd Waddell";
auth[242] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[243] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[244] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[245] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[246] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[247] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[248] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[249] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[250] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[251] = "Bob Evans";
auth[252] = "Ian Bowley's brother-in-law";
auth[253] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[254] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[255] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[256] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[257] = "Bob Evans";
auth[258] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[259] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[260] = "Alan Woods";
auth[261] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[262] = "Anne Martin";
auth[263] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[264] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[265] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[266] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[267] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[268] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[269] = "Union shop steward";
auth[270] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[271] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[272] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[273] = "Ian East's mother";
auth[274] = "Phil Carruthers";
auth[275] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[276] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[277] = "Ian East";
auth[278] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[279] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[280] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[281] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[282] = "College Lecturer";
auth[283] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[284] = "Man-in-the-street interviewee";
auth[285] = "Hospital Porter";
auth[286] = "Brian Mackley";
auth[287] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[288] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[289] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[290] = "Ray Harrison";
auth[291] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[292] = "Brian Mackley";
auth[293] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[294] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[295] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[296] = "Anon";
auth[297] = "Brian Mackley";
auth[298] = "Angus Macnay";
auth[299] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[300] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[301] = "Brian Mackley";
auth[302] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[303] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[304] = "Geoff Wynn";
auth[305] = "John Beston";
auth[306] = "Brian Mackley";
auth[307] = "Jim Brownlow";
auth[308] = "Ray Harrison";
auth[309] = "John Bainbridge";
auth[310] = "Ian Bowley";
auth[311] = "Radio 2 News";
auth[312] = "Brian Mackley";
auth[313] = "Ian Bowley";
auth[314] = "Radio 3 announcer";
auth[315] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[316] = "Gordon Scott";
auth[317] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[318] = "Anon (Ian Bowley)";
auth[319] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[320] = "Hilary East";
auth[321] = "Alan Burnett";
auth[322] = "Tony Pottinger";
auth[323] = "Anon father to young son";
auth[324] = "Local Government Officer";
auth[325] = "Local Government Officer";
auth[326] = "Local Government Officer";
auth[327] = "Chief Executive's secretary";
auth[328] = "Local Government Officer";
auth[329] = "Radio 2 announcer Paul Jones";
auth[330] = "Richard O'Brien (Crystal Maze)";
auth[331] = "Alan Candlish";
auth[332] = "Jim Belford";
auth[333] = "Catherine Banks";
auth[334] = "Radio 2 announcer Derek Jamieson";
auth[335] = "Radio 2 phone-in";
auth[336] = "Anon shop customer";
auth[337] = "Teri Waters";
auth[338] = "Sue Forster";
auth[339] = "City Hospitals Sunderland";
auth[340] = "Harry Wilkinson";
auth[341] = "Jim Belford";
auth[342] = "John Griffiths";
auth[343] = "Jefferson Research Report for CHS";
auth[344] = "Paul Burdon";
auth[345] = "John Griffiths";
auth[346] = "Lennie";
auth[347] = "Radio 5 announcer Danny Baker";
auth[348] = "Dr Abella";
auth[349] = "John Griffiths";
auth[350] = "Anon (Paul Finch)";
auth[351] = "Margaret Finch";
auth[352] = "Jim Belford";
auth[353] = "Jim Belford";
auth[354] = "Jim Belford";
auth[355] = "John Taylor";
auth[356] = "John Griffiths";
auth[357] = "Ray Morris";
auth[358] = "Ray Morris";
auth[359] = "Radio Cleveland";
auth[360] = "Alan Candlish";
auth[361] = "John Taylor";
auth[362] = "Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[363] = "Brian Johnson";
auth[364] = "Ray Morris";
auth[365] = "Freda Andrews";
auth[366] = "Unhappy rugby supporter";
auth[367] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[368] = "Dental Technician STHCT";
auth[369] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[370] = "Radio 2 News";
auth[371] = "Jim Belford";
auth[372] = "Jacqui Bilcliffe";
auth[373] = "Ray Morris";
auth[374] = "Ray Morris";
auth[375] = "Police Officer";
auth[376] = "Anon (Jim Belford)";
auth[377] = "NHS Trust Officer";
auth[378] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[379] = "NHS Trust Officer";
auth[380] = "Paul Finch";
auth[381] = "John Griffiths";
auth[382] = "Chief Executive";
auth[383] = "Richard Pottinger";
auth[384] = "Andrea Castling (report section heading)";
auth[385] = "Anon (Jim Belford)";
auth[386] = "Gary Worrell";
auth[387] = "Local Government Officer";
auth[388] = "John Griffiths";
auth[389] = "Local Government Officer";
auth[390] = "Ian Loudon's wife";
auth[391] = "Paul Burdon";
auth[392] = "Dr Paul Baker";
auth[393] = "Anon (Jim Belford)";
auth[394] = "Patient information leaflet (Hartlepool)";
auth[395] = "Paul Burdon";
auth[396] = "Channel 4 TV announcer";
auth[397] = "Angry parent";
auth[398] = "Radio Newcastle News";
auth[399] = "Radio 4 interviewee";
auth[400] = "Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[401] = "Anon (Jim Belford)";
auth[402] = "Anon (Jim Belford)";
auth[403] = "Medical secretary";
auth[404] = "Radio 2 News";
auth[405] = "Radio 2 News";
auth[406] = "A&E consultant";
auth[407] = "Chris Tatham";
auth[408] = "Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[409] = "John Fashanu";
auth[410] = "Self-employed builder";
auth[411] = "Classic FM RADIO - Mike Reid";
auth[412] = "NHS Trust Officer";
auth[413] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[414] = "Radio 2 News";
auth[415] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[416] = "Sunday Express quiz answer";
auth[417] = "Radio 2 interviewee";
auth[418] = "Medical staffing officer (North Durham)";
auth[419] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[420] = "Anon";
auth[421] = "Howard Scott";
auth[422] = "Mark Lawrenson";
auth[423] = "Urvashi Bramwell";
auth[424] = "Classic FM Radio News";
auth[425] = "Tracy Stokes";
auth[426] = "'Geordie' guardsman at Trooping of the colour parade";
auth[427] = "Gary Lineker (about John Motson)";
auth[428] = "Gillian Forsyth";
auth[429] = "Classic FM Radio News";
auth[430] = "Metro Radio Sports Commentator";
auth[431] = "Paul Burdon";
auth[432] = "Garage receptionist";
auth[433] = "TTTV Interviewee";
auth[434] = "Darlington Council Member";
auth[435] = "Sue Henderson";
auth[436] = "Trust Chairman";
auth[437] = "British gas engineer";
auth[438] = "Hospital Joiner";
auth[439] = "Hospital Engineer";
auth[440] = "Hospital Engineer";
auth[441] = "William Hague";
auth[442] = "Telephone switchboard operator";
auth[443] = "Channel 4 holiday home hunter";
auth[444] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[445] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[446] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[447] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[448] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[449] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[450] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[451] = "Mike Richards";
auth[452] = "BBC2 TV News";
auth[453] = "Florist (Nichola Fairless)";
auth[454] = "Lynne Snowball";
auth[455] = "BBC2 TV comentator at Trooping of the colour";
auth[456] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[457] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[458] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[459] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[460] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[461] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[462] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[463] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[464] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[465] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[466] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[467] = "Andrew Christer";
auth[468] = "Classic FM radio announcer";
auth[469] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[470] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[471] = "Jim Belford (anon)";
auth[472] = "Jim Belford";
auth[473] = "Jim Belford (anon)";
auth[474] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[475] = "Grace (Ste Pittey)";
auth[476] = "NHS Trust Officer";
auth[477] = "NHS Trust Officer";
auth[478] = "Un-named project manager";
auth[479] = "Kevin Keltie";
auth[480] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[481] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[482] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[483] = "Diane Gallacher";
auth[484] = "Debbie Crispino";
auth[485] = "Alan Meekings";
auth[486] = "Elaine Nicholson";
auth[487] = "BBC1 TV pundit Alan Hanson";
auth[488] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[489] = "Sales Manager";
auth[490] = "Regional Management Accountant";
auth[491] = "Property developer on Channel 4 TV";
auth[492] = "Kelly Petroff";
auth[493] = "Kelly Petroff";
auth[494] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[495] = "Bill Consitt ";
auth[496] = "Will Blandamer policy document";
auth[497] = "Ian Bowley";
auth[498] = "BBC Radio Newcastle commentator";
auth[499] = "Anon (courtesy of Chris Ball (USA))";
auth[500] = "Ian Bowley's daughter";
auth[501] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[502] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[503] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[504] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[505] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[506] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[507] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[508] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[509] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[510] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[511] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[512] = "Lady selling her house on BBC 2 TV";
auth[513] = "Lady on phone at Kings Cross train station";
auth[514] = "Susan Messer's sister";
auth[515] = "Susan Messer's friend";
auth[516] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[517] = "TV newscaster";
auth[518] = "Co-worker of Susan Messer";
auth[519] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[520] = "Co-worker of Susan Messer";
auth[521] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[522] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[523] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[524] = "Co-worker of Susan Messer";
auth[525] = "TV newscaster";
auth[526] = "Anon (Ian Bowley)";
auth[527] = "The President of the ISMS";
auth[528] = "Anon (George Gemmel)";
auth[529] = "Anon (George Gemmel)";
auth[530] = "Williamsport Sun Gazette (Don)";
auth[531] = "Gill Cox";
auth[532] = "Lancashire County Council";
auth[533] = "Anon (Graeme Hunt)";
auth[534] = "Heather McCartney";
auth[535] = "Anon (Susan Messer)";
auth[536] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[537] = "News broadcast";
auth[538] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[539] = "News broadcast";
auth[540] = "Friend of Susan Messer";
auth[541] = "News broadcast";
auth[542] = "News broadcast";
auth[543] = "the 'Captain of the World'";
auth[544] = "Wesley Snipes in 'Drop Zone'";
auth[545] = "Ray Morris";
auth[546] = "early Blue Peter show (Roger Dey)";
auth[547] = "Matty (Jim Denniston)";
auth[548] = "Matty (Jim Denniston)";
auth[549] = "Matty (Jim Denniston)";
auth[550] = "Matty (Jim Denniston)";
auth[551] = "Matty (Jim Denniston)";
auth[552] = "Matty (Jim Denniston)";
auth[553] = "Ruth Taylor (Judith Laurie)";
auth[554] = "Jim Woods";
auth[555] = "Graham Worthington";
auth[556] = "Store customer (Marie Johnson)";
auth[557] = "Woman on bus (Marie Johnson)";
auth[558] = "Hospital Visitor (Karen Glynn)";
auth[559] = "Hospital Visitor (Karen Glynn)";
auth[560] = "Liz Ridge";
auth[561] = "Claire Adams";
auth[562] = "June Grindley (Debbie Bradford)";
auth[563] = "June Grindley (Debbie Bradford)";
auth[564] = "June Grindley (Debbie Bradford)";
auth[565] = "June Grindley (Debbie Bradford)";
auth[566] = "June Grindley (Debbie Bradford)";
auth[567] = "June Grindley (Debbie Bradford)";
auth[568] = "Ronnie Moreland";
auth[569] = "Helen Slater's mother-in-law";
auth[570] = "Anon (Barry Mcneill)";
auth[571] = "Anon (Barry Mcneill)";
auth[572] = "Anon (Barry Mcneill)";
auth[573] = "Sonia Filmer (Mark Tristem)";
auth[574] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[575] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[576] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[577] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[578] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[579] = "Anon (Sue Duxbury)";
auth[580] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[581] = "Anon (Adrian Shandley)";
auth[582] = "Anon";
auth[583] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[584] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[585] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[586] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[587] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[588] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[589] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[590] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[591] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[592] = "Anon (Iain Harris)";
auth[593] = "Michael Mohan's aunt";
auth[594] = "Roger (Graham Mayor)";
auth[595] = "Roger (Graham Mayor)";
auth[596] = "Anon";
auth[597] = "Tony Hall's neighbour";
auth[598] = "Tony Hall's neighbour";
auth[599] = "Tony Hall's neighbour";
auth[600] = "Tony Hall's neighbour";
auth[601] = "Tony Hall's neighbour";
auth[602] = "Howard Linden ";
auth[603] = "Howard Linden ";
auth[604] = "Anon (Nicky)";
auth[605] = "Eric Cheetham ";
auth[606] = "Eric Cheetham ";
auth[607] = "Anon (G Murrell)";
auth[608] = "Wendy Redwood";
auth[609] = "Anon (Ed Jenkins)";
auth[610] = "Anon (Ed Jenkins)";
auth[611] = "Dom Gittins' boss";
auth[612] = "Dom Gittins' boss";
auth[613] = "Dom Gittins' boss";
auth[614] = "(Anon) Dom Gittins";
auth[615] = "Anon (Dave Laine)";
auth[616] = "AA Road sign (Robert Lane)";
auth[617] = "Colin Battson's wife";
auth[618] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[619] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[620] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[621] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[622] = "Anon (Vic Storey)";
auth[623] = "Anon (Vic Storey)";
auth[624] = "Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[625] = "Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[626] = "Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[627] = "Peter Morgan's wife";
auth[628] = "Roger Lovell's daughter in law";
auth[629] = "Sara Bunting";
auth[630] = "Anon (Steve Taylor)";
auth[631] = "Anon (Steve Taylor)";
auth[632] = "Anon (Steve Taylor)";
auth[633] = "Tony Wright";
auth[634] = "Steve Mould";
auth[635] = "Graham Worthington";
auth[636] = "Graham Worthington";
auth[637] = "Graham Worthington";
auth[638] = "Michael Mohan's wife";
auth[639] = "Krishna Hickman";
auth[640] = "Colin Perry's daughter";
auth[641] = "Anon (Claire Eccles)";
auth[642] = "Anon (Claire Eccles)";
auth[643] = "Claire Eccles' daughter";
auth[644] = "Anon (Claire Eccles)";
auth[645] = "Anon (Suzanne & Tim)";
auth[646] = "Anon (Suzanne & Tim)";
auth[647] = "Anon (Suzanne & Tim)";
auth[648] = "Anon (Suzanne & Tim)";
auth[649] = "Karen's mother-in-law";
auth[650] = "Karen's mother-in-law";
auth[651] = "Anon (friend of Karen)";
auth[652] = "Steve Heron";
auth[653] = "Anon (David Morgan)";
auth[654] = "Fay Martin's boyfriend";
auth[655] = "Anon";
auth[656] = "Anon (Steve Parker)";
auth[657] = "Anon (James Reynolds)";
auth[658] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[659] = "Anon (Tom Shopland)";
auth[660] = "Anon (Tom Shopland)";
auth[661] = "James Pickett";
auth[662] = "James Pickett";
auth[663] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[664] = "Vanessa Miller";
auth[665] = "Sara rees";
auth[666] = "BBC news item";
auth[667] = "MKjobs website (David Wilson)";
auth[668] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[669] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[670] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[671] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[672] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[673] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[674] = "Anon (Laurie Hawkes)";
auth[675] = "Nichola Fairless";
auth[676] = "Nichola Fairless";
auth[677] = "Anon (Nichola Fairless)";
auth[678] = "Tim";
auth[679] = "Tim";
auth[680] = "Tim";
auth[681] = "Tim";
auth[682] = "Tim";
auth[683] = "Tim";
auth[684] = "Tim";
auth[685] = "Tim";
auth[686] = "Tim";
auth[687] = "Tim";
auth[688] = "Tim";
auth[689] = "Tim";
auth[690] = "Tim";
auth[691] = "Tim";
auth[692] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[693] = "Tim";
auth[694] = "Tim";
auth[695] = "Anon (Ian Bowley)";
auth[696] = "Government spokeswoman ";
auth[697] = "Donna Smith";
auth[698] = "Donna Smith";
auth[699] = "Anon (Rachel Deane)";
auth[700] = "Anon Rhiain Hunter-Jones";
auth[701] = "Dolly";
auth[702] = "Dolly";
auth[703] = "Dolly";
auth[704] = "Dolly";
auth[705] = "Dolly";
auth[706] = "Dolly";
auth[707] = "Dolly";
auth[708] = "Dolly";
auth[709] = "Dolly";
auth[710] = "Dolly";
auth[711] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[712] = "Anon (Sheila Hull)";
auth[713] = "Mike Frain";
auth[714] = "John McEnroe on the women's singles final";
auth[715] = "Peers Mclintock";
auth[716] = "Secretary of local football team (Tom Whelan)";
auth[717] = "David Bowley's Girlfriend";
auth[718] = "Mark Barker";
auth[719] = "Radio 4 interviewee";
auth[720] = "Ian Munro";
auth[721] = "Club chairman (from Roger Vearncombe)";
auth[722] = "Green Party spokesman (from Roger Vearncombe)";
auth[723] = "George";
auth[724] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[725] = "Anon (Bernadette Bowley)";
auth[726] = "Lauren Bowley";
auth[727] = "Business man on phone (from Graham Robinson)";
auth[728] = "Lisa, from Big Brother";
auth[729] = "Mike Frain's daughter";
auth[730] = "Two Cornish ladies (from Kristina Amadeus)";
auth[731] = "Ross Mclennan";
auth[732] = "Anon (John Howarth)";
auth[733] = "George Bush (from Kristins Amadeus and others)";
auth[734] = "Airline pilot (from Roger Vearncombe)";
auth[735] = "Andrew Allen ";
auth[736] = "Stanley G Wilson";
auth[737] = "from John Train and others";
auth[738] = "Jean Verity Doyle";
auth[739] = "Wes Clark";
auth[740] = "Charlie Byers";
auth[741] = "Union rep. (from John Hogan)";
auth[742] = "Duncan Bryant'd wife";
auth[743] = "Alban Arena Film listing (from David Thalenberg)";
auth[744] = "Trevor Francis";
auth[745] = "South Wales Echo (from Peter Mabey)";
auth[746] = "Staff newsletter (from Greg Olszowski)";
auth[747] = "Michelle Howchin (from Faye Lester)";
auth[748] = "Michelle Howchin (from Faye Lester)";
auth[749] = "Anon (Mark Oppenheim)";
auth[750] = "Bruce Wedgwood-Oppenheim";
auth[751] = "Managing director (from Laurence Wilson)";
auth[752] = "Manager (from Laurence Wilson)";
auth[753] = "Manager (from Laurence Wilson)";
auth[754] = "Mick Coyne (and others)";
auth[755] = "Andrew Allen ";
auth[756] = "Company director (from Laurence Wilson)";
auth[757] = "Radio traffic news (from Chris McCarthy)";
auth[758] = "Car dealer, as part of safety talk";
auth[759] = "Claire Myfanwy's grandfather";
auth[760] = "Kyle Thompson's g-g-grandmother";
auth[761] = "Kyle Thompson's g-g-grandmother";
auth[762] = "Michelle Howchin (from Faye Lester)";
auth[763] = "Christine Spence's MD";
auth[764] = "Anon (Emma Birks)";
auth[765] = "Anon (Andrew Tonkin)";
auth[766] = "Emma Birks";
auth[767] = "Regan Atkinson";
auth[768] = "Regan Atkinson";
auth[769] = "Adrian Ogden";
auth[770] = "Anon (Dave Gooding)";
auth[771] = "Anon (Dave Gooding)";
auth[772] = "Anon (Chris Giggs)";
auth[773] = "PC Plus magazine (from Tony Tudge)";
auth[774] = "Rod Theobald's wife";
auth[775] = "Barbara Wright";
auth[776] = "Anon (Ashley Paddon)";
auth[777] = "George";
auth[778] = "George";
auth[779] = "Anon (Ian Vaughan)";
auth[780] = "Tim";
auth[781] = "Anon (Geoff Foster)";
auth[782] = "Andrew Windibank's aunt";
auth[783] = "Ronnie";
auth[784] = "Mark Halsall's wife";
auth[785] = "Mark Halsall's wife";
auth[786] = "Anon (Richard Treadgold)";
auth[787] = "Anon (John Mackessack)";
auth[788] = "Anon (Ashley Paddon)";
auth[789] = "Anon (A Pedant)";
auth[790] = "Anon (The Donovan Family)";
auth[791] = "Anon (The Donovan Family)";
auth[792] = "David Prestwich";
auth[793] = "David Prestwich";
auth[794] = "David Prestwich";
auth[795] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[796] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[797] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[798] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[799] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[800] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[801] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[802] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[803] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[804] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[805] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[806] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[807] = "Anon teacher (John Amos)";
auth[808] = "Anon (Sherry Smith)";
auth[809] = "Simon (Sherry Smith)";
auth[810] = "Anon(Melanie Eccles)";
auth[811] = "Anon (Graham Gold)";
auth[812] = "Anon (Graham Gold)";
auth[813] = "Steve McLaren (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[814] = "Anon (Derek Marples)";
auth[815] = "Tim";
auth[816] = "Adrian Roll";
auth[817] = "Adrian Roll's partner";
auth[818] = "David Bowley's girlfriend";
auth[819] = "Tracey Halsall";
auth[820] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[821] = "Anon (Peter Wood)";
auth[822] = "Anon (Linda Phipps)";
auth[823] = "Pam (Bernard Reeves)";
auth[824] = "Mark Rose";
auth[825] = "Mark Rose";
auth[826] = "Detective at a case review (Philip Hickey";
auth[827] = "Princes William & Harry (Paul Weavers)";
auth[828] = "Danna Kirk Mayhall";
auth[829] = "Sarah";
auth[830] = "Tim";
auth[831] = "Heidi Berry's brother";
auth[832] = "Anon (Jim Slater)";
auth[833] = "Anon (Jim Slater)";
auth[834] = "Anon (Jim Slater)";
auth[835] = "Anon (Chas Berry)";
auth[836] = "Anon (George Dent)";
auth[837] = "Anon (George Dent)";
auth[838] = "Lis Christie";
auth[839] = "Lis Christie";
auth[840] = "Alec Swindon";
auth[841] = "Mark Dolan";
auth[842] = "Mick Mitchell";
auth[843] = "Fievel";
auth[844] = "Fievel";
auth[845] = "Anon (Andy)";
auth[846] = "Anon (Andy)";
auth[847] = "Fievel";
auth[848] = "Geoff Norris";
auth[849] = "Tracey Halsall";
auth[850] = "Fievel";
auth[851] = "Anon (Laurence Newman)";
auth[852] = "Anon PC";
auth[853] = "Anon PC";
auth[854] = "Anon PC";
auth[855] = "Anon PC";
auth[856] = "Anon PC";
auth[857] = "Anon PC";
auth[858] = "Anon PC";
auth[859] = "Anon PC";
auth[860] = "Anon PC";
auth[861] = "Anon PC";
auth[862] = "Anon PC";
auth[863] = "Anon PC";
auth[864] = "Anon PC";
auth[865] = "Anon PC";
auth[866] = "Anon PC";
auth[867] = "Anon (Dean Stocks)";
auth[868] = "Anon (Dean Stocks)";
auth[869] = "Anon (Dean Stocks)";
auth[870] = "Fievel";
auth[871] = "Fievel";
auth[872] = "Fievel";
auth[873] = "Fievel";
auth[874] = "Fievel";
auth[875] = "Fievel";
auth[876] = "Fievel";
auth[877] = "Fievel";
auth[878] = "Fievel";
auth[879] = "Fievel";
auth[880] = "Fievel";
auth[881] = "Fievel";
auth[882] = "Fievel";
auth[883] = "Fievel";
auth[884] = "Fievel";
auth[885] = "Fievel";
auth[886] = "Fievel";
auth[887] = "Fievel";
auth[888] = "Tim";
auth[889] = "Eustonlads";
auth[890] = "Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[891] = "Alan Padgham";
auth[892] = "Caroline Brown";
auth[893] = "Anon cleaner (from Trevor Rutter)";
auth[894] = "Trevor Rutter's mum";
auth[895] = "TV snooker commentator (from David Ferris)";
auth[896] = "Gail (Carolyn Eager)";
auth[897] = "Anon (Tom Witney)";
auth[898] = "Anon (Kenny)";
auth[899] = "Anon (Simon Cornell)";
auth[900] = "Anon (Simon Cornell)";
auth[901] = "Joe Papworth";
auth[902] = "Anon (Patricia Brindisi";
auth[903] = "News headline on GMTV (24/3/04)";
auth[904] = "Friend of Martin Ferris";
auth[905] = "Kenneth's mother";
auth[906] = "Mary Bailey's father";
auth[907] = "Jurgen Achterfeldt";
auth[908] = "George Reynolds, ex-Chair of Darlington FC (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[909] = "Anon street trader (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[910] = "Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[911] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[912] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[913] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[914] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[915] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[916] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[917] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[918] = "Anon soccer commentator (from Iain Harris)";
auth[919] = "Anon soccer commentator (from Iain Harris)";
auth[920] = "Will Greenwood, Harlequins RUFC";
auth[921] = "Anon (from Chris Keylock)";
auth[922] = "Chris Keylock";
auth[923] = "Distraught mother during Australian TV interview (from Phil McNab)";
auth[924] = "Sylvia Pottinger";
auth[925] = "Director of OPs (North East)";
auth[926] = "Anon (from: name witheld to protect future promotion prospects)";
auth[927] = "TV Soccer commentator - Portugal v Russia (from James Spearing)";
auth[928] = "P&O Cruise passenger(from James Sullivan)";
auth[929] = "Tara McAdams' old boss, Frank";
auth[930] = "Becca Carlson";
auth[931] = "Anon (from Chris & Kerry Ellicot)";
auth[932] = "Anon (from Chris & Kerry Ellicot)";
auth[933] = "Anon (from Tony Missio)";
auth[934] = "TV Soccer commentator (from James Spearing)";
auth[935] = "TV Soccer commentator (from James Spearing)";
auth[936] = "Sarah Kennedy, BBC Radio 2 presenter, on safari (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[937] = "Cate Lamb";
auth[938] = "Pupil's exclamation on seeing a tank full of snails (from Mark Langford)";
auth[939] = "Andrew Marr, BBC Political Editor (from Jack Spearing)";
auth[940] = "Colin Cooper, Middlesbrough FC player (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[941] = "Richard Traynier";
auth[942] = "Various (from Nancy Glenn)";
auth[943] = "Tim";
auth[944] = "Tim";
auth[945] = "Elsie (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[946] = "Elsie (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[947] = "from Toni Gillan";
auth[948] = "Winston Peters (from Graham Barton)";
auth[949] = "Basil Hall's mother-in-law";
auth[950] = "Basil Hall's mother-in-law";
auth[951] = "Anon politician (from Max Abernethy)";
auth[952] = "David Morgan";
auth[953] = "David Morgan's flatmate";
auth[954] = "Sign in shop window (from Kim Barclay)";
auth[955] = "Mike Brownlie's sister";
auth[956] = "Stuart MacDiarmid's son";
auth[957] = "Anon (from Sandy McGivern)";
auth[958] = "Anon (from Sandy McGivern)";
auth[959] = "Sandy McGivern";
auth[960] = "from Richard Paxman";
auth[961] = "Mrs C Keyte's sister, Maria";
auth[962] = "Brian Pemberton";
auth[963] = "Olympic Gymnast, Paul Hamm (from Peter Wood)";
auth[964] = "from Patrick Potts";
auth[965] = "from Toni Gillan";
auth[966] = "Tim";
auth[967] = "David Braun (from Nancy Glenn)";
auth[968] = "Anon (from Bruce Holt)";
auth[969] = "Anon (from David Morgan)";
auth[970] = "Hil, a friend of Ruth Bennie";
auth[971] = "Shop sign, September 2004 (from Russ Pottinger)";
auth[972] = "Joe Kinnear, soccer manager";
auth[973] = "Tony Pottinger";
auth[974] = "Fievel";
auth[975] = "Fievel";
auth[976] = "Fievel";
auth[977] = "Fievel";
auth[978] = "Fievel";
auth[979] = "Fievel";
auth[980] = "Fievel";
auth[981] = "Fievel";
auth[982] = "Fievel";
auth[983] = "Fievel";
auth[984] = "Fievel";
auth[985] = "Fievel";
auth[986] = "Fievel";
auth[987] = "Fievel";
auth[988] = "Fievel";
auth[989] = "Fievel";
auth[990] = "Fievel";
auth[991] = "Fievel";
auth[992] = "Fievel";
auth[993] = "Fievel";
auth[994] = "Fievel";
auth[995] = "Fievel";
auth[996] = "Fievel";
auth[997] = "Fievel";
auth[998] = "Fievel";
auth[999] = "Fievel";
auth[1000] = "Fievel";
auth[1001] = "Fievel";
auth[1002] = "Fievel";
auth[1003] = "Fievel";
auth[1004] = "Fievel";
auth[1005] = "Fievel";
auth[1006] = "Fievel";
auth[1007] = "from Al & Shirley Smith";
auth[1008] = "Emma from Big Brother (from Bob McDermott)";
auth[1009] = "from David Morgan";
auth[1010] = "from David Morgan";
auth[1011] = "Lee Brandon's Mother-in-Law";
auth[1012] = "Lee Brandon's Mother-in-Law";
auth[1013] = "Tim";
auth[1014] = "Nev";
auth[1015] = "Nev";
auth[1016] = "Nev";
auth[1017] = "Nev";
auth[1018] = "Nev";
auth[1019] = "Nev";
auth[1020] = "Nev";
auth[1021] = "Nev";
auth[1022] = "Nev";
auth[1023] = "Nev";
auth[1024] = "Nev";
auth[1025] = "Nev";
auth[1026] = "from David Morgan";
auth[1027] = "from David Morgan";
auth[1028] = "Science forum poster, from David Morgan";
auth[1029] = "Football commentator Gordon Sparkes, from Lee Braddon";
auth[1030] = "Raymond (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1031] = "Roger Hall's mother";
auth[1032] = "Roger Hall's mother";
auth[1033] = "Tim";
auth[1034] = "Lynn Clark";
auth[1035] = "Fievel";
auth[1036] = "Fievel";
auth[1037] = "Fievel";
auth[1038] = "Fievel";
auth[1039] = "Fievel";
auth[1040] = "Fievel";
auth[1041] = "Fievel";
auth[1042] = "Fievel";
auth[1043] = "Fievel";
auth[1044] = "Fievel";
auth[1045] = "Fievel";
auth[1046] = "Fievel";
auth[1047] = "Fievel";
auth[1048] = "Fievel";
auth[1049] = "Joyce Parkin";
auth[1050] = "Gordon Sparkes (BBC Radio Devon soccer commentator)";
auth[1051] = "Gordon Sparkes (BBC Radio Devon soccer commentator)";
auth[1052] = "Harry Baker (from John Patrick)";
auth[1053] = "Anon senior director (from John Patrick)";
auth[1054] = "Tim";
auth[1055] = "Martin Green";
auth[1056] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1057] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1058] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1059] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1060] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1061] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1062] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1063] = "Anon (from Iain Harris)";
auth[1064] = "Anon (from Paul Fogarty)";
auth[1065] = "Confused fisherman (from Graeme Thomas)";
auth[1066] = "Fievel";
auth[1067] = "Fievel";
auth[1068] = "Fievel";
auth[1069] = "Fievel";
auth[1070] = "Fievel";
auth[1071] = "Fievel";
auth[1072] = "Fievel";
auth[1073] = "Fievel";
auth[1074] = "Fievel";
auth[1075] = "Fievel";
auth[1076] = "Fievel";
auth[1077] = "Russ Pottinger";
auth[1078] = "Neil Warnock, Sheffield United soccer manager";
auth[1079] = "Disappointed soccer fan";
auth[1080] = "Dia-dull";
auth[1081] = "Carol";
auth[1082] = "Carmene Roy";
auth[1083] = "Carmene Roy";
auth[1084] = "Dom Tiberi";
auth[1085] = "Jimmy Arnfield, BBC sports commentator";
auth[1086] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1087] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1088] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1089] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1090] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1091] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1092] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1093] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1094] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1095] = "Anon (from Ken Fogel)";
auth[1096] = "Michael Frain";
auth[1097] = "Sarah (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1098] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1099] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1100] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1101] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1102] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1103] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1104] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1105] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1106] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1107] = "Anon (from Margaret Hautanen)";
auth[1108] = "Ray Morris";
auth[1109] = "Fievel";
auth[1110] = "Fievel";
auth[1111] = "Fievel";
auth[1112] = "Fievel";
auth[1113] = "Fievel";
auth[1114] = "Fievel";
auth[1115] = "Fievel";
auth[1116] = "Fievel";
auth[1117] = "Fievel";
auth[1118] = "Fievel";
auth[1119] = "Fievel";
auth[1120] = "Fievel";
auth[1121] = "Brenda";
auth[1122] = "Brenda";
auth[1123] = "Brenda";
auth[1124] = "Brenda";
auth[1125] = "Brenda";
auth[1126] = "Brenda";
auth[1127] = "Brenda";
auth[1128] = "Brenda";
auth[1129] = "Brenda";
auth[1130] = "Brenda";
auth[1131] = "Fievel";
auth[1132] = "Fievel";
auth[1133] = "Fievel";
auth[1134] = "Fievel";
auth[1135] = "Fievel";
auth[1136] = "Fievel";
auth[1137] = "Fievel";
auth[1138] = "Stuart MacDiarmid";
auth[1139] = "Joanne McDonough";
auth[1140] = "Joanne McDonough";
auth[1141] = "Anon lecturer (from Luke)";
auth[1142] = "Gerry Creechan";
auth[1143] = "Anon (Gareth Parkinson)";
auth[1144] = "#1:Steve Arthur, #2:Tony Dyson";
auth[1145] = "Anon (Robert Nestor)";
auth[1146] = "Robert Nestor";
auth[1147] = "Anon (Robert Nestor)";
auth[1148] = "Anon (Robert Nestor)";
auth[1149] = "Celebrity on BBC TV 'Test the Nation - 20th Century Quiz' (Nic Cleveland)";
auth[1150] = "Sir Malcolm Rifkin MP  (Nic Cleveland)";
auth[1151] = "Staff memo (Heather Francis)";
auth[1152] = "Anon (Michael Frain)";
auth[1153] = "Fievel";
auth[1154] = "Fievel";
auth[1155] = "Fievel";
auth[1156] = "Fievel";
auth[1157] = "Fievel";
auth[1158] = "Fievel";
auth[1159] = "Fievel";
auth[1160] = "Fievel";
auth[1161] = "Fievel";
auth[1162] = "Fievel";
auth[1163] = "Fievel";
auth[1164] = "Fievel";
auth[1165] = "Fievel";
auth[1166] = "Fievel";
auth[1167] = "Ian's mother-in-law";
auth[1168] = "T B Watts";
auth[1169] = "Fievel";
auth[1170] = "Fievel";
auth[1171] = "Fievel";
auth[1172] = "Fievel";
auth[1173] = "Fievel";
auth[1174] = "Fievel";
auth[1175] = "Fievel";
auth[1176] = "Fievel";
auth[1177] = "Fievel";
auth[1178] = "Fievel";
auth[1179] = "Fievel";
auth[1180] = "Fievel";
auth[1181] = "Fievel";
auth[1182] = "Fievel";
auth[1183] = "Fievel";
auth[1184] = "Stephen Graham";
auth[1185] = "Ruth (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1186] = "C J Wiemann";
auth[1187] = "C J Wiemann";
auth[1188] = "Tim";
auth[1189] = "Michael Frain";
auth[1190] = "BBC website (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1191] = "Anon (from JP Sullivan)";
auth[1192] = "Anon (from Cassandra Westwood)";
auth[1193] = "Gary Bennet";
auth[1194] = "Tim";
auth[1195] = "Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1196] = "Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1197] = "Anon (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1198] = "Iain Dowie of Crystal Palace FC (from Glenn Fairhall)";
auth[1199] = "PCT email";
auth[1200] = "Elsie (from Ian Bowley)";
auth[1201] = "Fievel";
auth[1202] = "Fievel";
auth[1203] = "Fievel";
auth[1204] = "Fievel";
auth[1205] = "Fievel";
auth[1206] = "Fievel";
auth[1207] = "Fievel";
auth[1208] = "Fievel";
auth[1209] = "Fievel";
auth[1210] = "Fievel";
auth[1211] = "Fievel";
auth[1212] = "Fievel";
auth[1213] = "Fievel";
auth[1214] = "Fievel";
auth[1215] = "Fievel";
auth[1216] = "Fievel";
auth[1217] = "Fievel";
auth[1218] = "Fievel";
auth[1219] = "Fievel";
auth[1220] = "Fievel";
auth[1221] = "Fievel";
auth[1222] = "Fievel";
auth[1223] = "Fievel";
auth[1224] = "Fievel";
auth[1225] = "Fievel";
auth[1226] = "Fievel";
auth[1227] = "Fievel";
auth[1228] = "Fievel";
auth[1229] = "Fievel";
auth[1230] = "Fievel";
auth[1231] = "Fievel";
auth[1232] = "Fievel";
auth[1233] = "Fievel";
auth[1234] = "Fievel";
auth[1235] = "Fievel";
auth[1236] = "Fievel";
auth[1237] = "Marco Le Chambre";
auth[1238] = "Robin Knibb";
auth[1239] = "Anon (Michael Frain)";
auth[1240] = "John Vercoe";
auth[1241] = "John Vercoe";
auth[1242] = "John Vercoe";
auth[1243] = "John Vercoe";
auth[1244] = "John Vercoe";
auth[1245] = "Store manager";
auth[1246] = "Joyce Parkin";
auth[1247] = "James Munden (from Glenn Fairhall)";
auth[1248] = "Anon (Michael Frain)";
auth[1249] = "Mark Field";
auth[1250] = "Neil Jordan";
auth[1251] = "Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[1252] = "Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[1253] = "Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[1254] = "Anon (from James Munden)";
auth[1255] = "Anon Audit Manager (from Sarah Wishart)";
auth[1256] = "Jeff Stelling, Sky Sports Anchorman";
auth[1257] = "East Yorkshire Motor Services website";
auth[1258] = "Anon (from Tim Clarke)";
auth[1259] = "Anon (from Tim Clarke)";
auth[1260] = "na se oliver";
auth[1261] = "Anon (Martin Ferris)";
auth[1262] = "Marion Talbot";
auth[1263] = "Debra Canning";
auth[1264] = "Debra Canning";
auth[1265] = "Anon (Neil Crowle)";
auth[1266] = "Anon (Neil Crowle)";
auth[1267] = "Fievel";
auth[1268] = "Fievel";
auth[1269] = "Fievel";
auth[1270] = "Fievel";
auth[1271] = "Fievel";
auth[1272] = "Fievel";
auth[1273] = "Fievel";
auth[1274] = "Fievel";
auth[1275] = "Fievel";
auth[1276] = "Fievel";
auth[1277] = "Fievel";
auth[1278] = "Fievel";
auth[1279] = "Fievel";
auth[1280] = "Fievel";
auth[1281] = "Fievel";
auth[1282] = "Fievel";
auth[1283] = "Fievel";
auth[1284] = "Fievel";
auth[1285] = "Fievel";
auth[1286] = "Fievel";
auth[1287] = "Fievel";
auth[1288] = "Fievel";
auth[1289] = "Fievel";
auth[1290] = "Fievel";
auth[1291] = "Fievel";
auth[1292] = "Fievel";
auth[1293] = "Fievel";
auth[1294] = "Fievel";
auth[1295] = "Fievel";
auth[1296] = "Fievel";
auth[1297] = "Fievel";
auth[1298] = "Fievel";
auth[1299] = "Fievel";
auth[1300] = "Fievel";
auth[1301] = "Fievel";
auth[1302] = "Fievel";
auth[1303] = "Fievel";
auth[1304] = "Fievel";
auth[1305] = "Fievel";
auth[1306] = "Fievel";
auth[1307] = "Fievel";
auth[1308] = "Fievel";
auth[1309] = "Fievel";
auth[1310] = "Fievel";
auth[1311] = "Fievel";
auth[1312] = "Fievel";
auth[1313] = "Fievel";
auth[1314] = "Fievel";
auth[1315] = "Fievel";
auth[1316] = "Fievel";
auth[1317] = "Fievel";
auth[1318] = "Fievel";
auth[1319] = "Fievel";
auth[1320] = "Fievel";
auth[1321] = "Fievel";
auth[1322] = "Fievel";
auth[1323] = "Marco Le Chambre";
auth[1324] = "Sadie-Kate Furniss";
auth[1325] = "Julie Davis";
auth[1326] = "Liddy Lewis";
auth[1327] = "Liddy Lewis";
auth[1328] = "Liddy Lewis";
auth[1329] = "Mrs Le Page";
auth[1330] = "Mrs Le Page";
auth[1331] = "Marco Le Chambre";
auth[1332] = "Robin Knibb";
auth[1333] = "Fievel";
auth[1334] = "Fievel";
auth[1335] = "Fievel";
auth[1336] = "Fievel";
auth[1337] = "Fievel";
auth[1338] = "Fievel";
auth[1339] = "Fievel";
auth[1340] = "Fievel";
auth[1341] = "Fievel";
auth[1342] = "Fievel";
auth[1343] = "Fievel";
auth[1344] = "Fievel";
auth[1345] = "Fievel";
auth[1346] = "Fievel";
auth[1347] = "Fievel";
auth[1348] = "Fievel";
auth[1349] = "Fievel";
auth[1350] = "Fievel";
auth[1351] = "Fievel";
auth[1352] = "Fievel";
auth[1353] = "Fievel";
auth[1354] = "Fievel";
auth[1355] = "Fievel";
auth[1356] = "Fievel";
auth[1357] = "Fievel";
auth[1358] = "Fievel";
auth[1359] = "BBC news correspondent";
auth[1360] = "Gary Bennet (Sunderland AFC pundit)";
auth[1361] = "Anon (from Erin Greenup)";
auth[1362] = "Anon (from Erin Greenup)";
auth[1363] = "Anon (from Erin Greenup)";
auth[1364] = "advertisement - Hull Daily Mail  (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[1365] = "Nigel Beedles'mother";
auth[1366] = "Debra Canning";
auth[1367] = "Debra Canning";
auth[1368] = "Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[1369] = "Radio Humberside (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[1370] = "John Inverdale (from Martin Ferris)";
auth[1371] = "Debra Canning";
auth[1372] = "ASDA soup label (from Elaine Nicholson)";
auth[1373] = "Durham Internal Audit Services";

quoteShowing=0;
quoteShowing = Math.ceil(Math.random() *quotes);
  result =  ism[quoteShowing];
  author = auth[quoteShowing];

document.write ("<center><b><font size =3><font color = navy>"+ result + "</center></font></b>");
document.write ("<center><font size =1><small>ism:# " + quoteShowing+"</small>     "+" ");
document.write ("- source: " + author);