Examples of Letters Not to Write

These are copies of genuine letters I have received requesting acting work

Sorry about the download time, but this is worth the wait

Translation:

Dear Simon,

I have written to you a few times in the past this time I hope I will be successful in my application for a job.

I am 24 on 19 of this month 23 at the moment so it would be a very nice birthday surprise. I have been singing and touring with flash cabaret and show band. you have most of my details on file. I really want to be an actress but how can I when I get letters saying no vacancies at the moment try later without even chance of an audition if there are no vacancies as an actress then perhaps you could offer me some backstage work. Im a hard worker easy going and really like working in theatre so come on Simon spread a bit of the Christmas Spirit.

yours sincerely

&

WARNING: Many people have found these letters very funny. However, bear in mind they are the sort of thing you might write either when feeling lonely and desperate, or when feeling extremely cocky.

Writing letters is the aspect of getting work that most actors find most difficult. "An Actor's Guide to Getting Work" goes into great detail of what not to do, and what you can do to make sure that your letter communicates you at your best.

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