quit moaning

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I am sick to death of the English moaning about the yanks.

Most of it sounds like petty envy from people with no lives jealous that Americans seem to have so many more opportunities than them. Too many episodes of Baywatch affecting the brain there; you only need to see Jerry Springer to realise that there are people in the states for whom a big opportunity is to serve in a diner.

Many of these whinges about cycling are from a lack of history knowledge so lets just set the record straight.

“The Americans didn’t invent mountain biking.”

I’m sorry to disappoint you but yes they did. A few French blokes poncing about on a bombsite was not mountain biking. A few old men riding up steep Welsh hills in tweed plus fours was not mountain biking. Especially as they spent half the bloody time pushing them not riding them. If the British really did invent mountain biking we’d all be riding round on Highpaths but we’re not are we. Thank God. And cross bikes? An hour of racing round the local corporation park on skinny tyres is not mountain biking. So some people took them off road and rode the Pennine Way (Hi John) and others raced them over the 3 Peaks. In the mountains yes, but at the end of the day, not really mountain biking.

No matter how many small boys shoved dads cast off handlebars onto their ten speed in the 70s that was not mountain biking.

Mountain biking was invented in the States, by a bunch of long-haired lumberjack-shirt-wearing over-moustachioed Americans. And Wende Cragg.

Deal with it.

“Americans build all their bikes in Taiwan and make huge markups.”

Excuse me but since when has manufacturing in Taiwan been the sole preserve of the Americans? History lesson #1. Orange grew to be the successful company they are today by manufacturing in Taiwan. History lesson #2: Britain’s biggest bike company – Raleigh – have just sold up their UK business and moved it all overseas – to Taiwan. Just as Orange are having real success building in the UK oddly enough (you didn’t mention that did you Mark Todd in your sad apologetic excuse for Raleigh shutting up shop in the UK. Oversight? Or ignorance – in as much as you deliberately ignored it). Much of it has to do with the import duty into the UK (which then has VAT on top so you pay tax on your tax). I’ve imported bikes from the States and Mr Taxman earned as much from the deal as the poor bike builder.

And this holier than thou high ground also ignores the fact that many American companies actually choose to build in the States – what they call domestic. That ain’t cheap. Rock Shox and Trek are prime examples. These companies have commitment to their employees that would shame some UK companies. That’s reflected in the price, but it’s your choice whether your money supports domestic labourers (in the UK and the US) if you can afford to, or businessmen employing cheap labour and keeping the difference.

“Americans are too led by fashion.”

Have you been down to the woods today?

“Americans are jumping on the cyclo-cross bandwagon.”

No. You don’t know your history. And can I give Don Myrah your address so he can come round and smack you round the head with his trophies? Tom Ritchie has always praised the worth of cyclo-cross bikes, and who were those euro guys on his team racing cross in the winter. Ross Schaffers early mountain bikes had drop bars and were really cross bikes with 26” wheels. Both of them have been making cross bikes since before YOU jumped on the bandwagon. We know of at least one American who has been over and ridden the 3 Peaks (Hi Marc) on the same Salsa cross bike four times. Try that on an Alan or a Vitus and it would probably have broken on you by now. It broke my euro cross bike.

When track becomes the next big thing because the Americans lead the way you’ll be there whinging about Chris bloody Boardman not realising that some of the biggest track stars in Japan - where it is a far bigger sport than here – are Americans. Or the support that quote mountain bike companies unquote like GT (or are they BMX - discuss) gave to the US track team throughout the 90s.

“Americans have no history.”

Excuse me but some brave Americans were riding across the continent on high wheelers before the railroad went all the way. All branches of cycling have been going on in the US for as long as they have in the UK. You just didn’t know about it.

“Americans build CNC stuff that breaks.”

Anyone can do that. And Everyone does. Once there were several American companies that actually made CNC stuff that was light strong – not cheap – and lasted. People like Frank Witmer of Cook Bros. Then other companies including not a few Europeans built light and cheap – not strong – CNC stuff that broke. That tarnished everyone’s reputation and people like Frank deserve better than to be lumped in with the broad generalisation that all CNC jewellery is pants.

“You should support your local framebuilder instead of some American.”

Not if your local framebuilder is actually pants. In which case you should support the framebuilder who can make the bike you want for what you can afford to pay.

“Why pay money for (insert US brand name here) when you could buy (insert UK brand name here)?”

The question shouldn’t be about where the product comes from. It should be about what works best and is within your budget. If that happens to be American Taiwanese, or British that’s the one to go for. Admittedly products made in the UK are often designed to cope with the strange weather and riding conditions we get which just plain breaks other stuff. So your excuse to buy British is then simply that it works better, and not some decision based on purely illogical and damn near racist grounds.

“It’s not fair waah waah waah”

Shut up. Get a Life. Just ride fer Gods sake.

May 2000