The moon drifts silently high
above the oceans of the world. As it does so it unknowingly uses
its gravitational pull to affect the oceanic water level. As it
then goes on its way, the pull is relaxed and the tide spreads
itself back into its former position.. with a bit of splashing
and waves thrown in for effect. On and on this process repeated
itself through history before someone noticed the connection.
Meanwhile, I'd been having a pretty good month. In fact, this
year has been much better (so far) than any of the past four
years, which were extremely stressful to say the least. So there
I was enjoying a pretty good month. Suddenly I could feel it
coming. Just like that smell in the air that tells you rain is on
the way.. I knew something was up. Pretty soon, bamm! Though
nothing in particular had changed somehow I get hit with..
"the blues". They come to everyone eventually. You're
moving right along with a spring in your step for months on end.
Then without much notice or provocation the blues just show up on
your doorstep like unwanted junk mail.
I've kept an eye on this phenomena for awhile trying to find some
common denominator that might help me keep it at bay, never to
return again. It wasn't linked to any bad news or eating habits.
It came irregardless of my sleep schedule. Comes along when
things are fine no matter what the weather or season. I finally
concluded that, much like the ebb and flow of the tide... it just
comes. And then it goes.
People never did learn to live along the coast by finally finding
a way to control the tide. Instead they just learned to expect it
and live around it. For one thing, you don't go swimming during a
heavy riptide. I learned that lesson the hard way about six years
ago. You don't embark on a long journey by sail just as the winds
of a hurricane come blowing in. And you think twice before you go
for any three-hour cruises with two guys named Skipper and
Gilligan. And so it is I've learned that when the clouds gather
overhead and the sun seems to be dimming on my otherwise
optimistic stride on things, it's best to simply seek out some
shelter and distraction until the sun comes out again.
Once I begin to hear myself taking a downhill spiral with
thoughts like, "This sucks. Life sucks. Trees.. they suck.
Those birds, birds really suck..." then I know it's time to
get out of my head and seek out some friends. When I'm feeling
fine and one of my friends comes to me down with a case of the
blues, perhaps I can't always cheer him or her up. But I can
listen and in the process point out that things really aren't as
bad as they sound when bouncing off the inside of your head. And
then there are some people I can turn to who simply cheer me up
just by their countenance, the way they look directly into my
eyes or put their hand to my shoulder. Because unless there is
some tragic news that can be pinpointed to a specific sorrow, it
should be remembered that when the blues just drift in for no
reason they can often times be caused to at least subside with
even the gentlest outside influence.
So the thing for us to do is recognize our own patterns. To stop
and say, "Wait a minute.. nothing has really changed. I was
up and now I'm down. Time to get out of my head for awhile."
Meanwhile, our friends aren't always available or understanding.
That's just life. Some people even attempt to hold their own
psyche together by 'only' associating with
"up/positive" people and will shun you until you throw
yourself together. But true friends are with us to rejoice when
we rejoice and mourn when we mourn. Or make us laugh when we're
just.. having a fit of the blues. But we can't lean too hard on
our friends expecting them to carry us through the storm, be it a
drizzle or monsoon. We have to find ways to alleviate some of the
downpour ourselves. This is where we find out just how well we
know ourselves.
Everybody is different. We each distract ourselves in our own
peculiar ways. There's not even much of a rationale or line of
reasoning behind why it works.. we just know what works for
ourselves. Myself, I love crowds. Not sitting crowds like in
theaters or stadiums, but crowds moving and walking about. It
distracts me I guess because I'm so interested in people. So when
I'm feeling down the worst thing I can do is lock myself up in my
apartment trying to get my head together. Best thing I can do is
just 'get out'. The grocery store, window shopping, the mall, the
park, the beach.. somewhere to just be amongst people.
Occasionally I bump into someone I know and find myself busy with
plans thrown together at the last minute. And driving.. I love to
drive. My Mom said fourteen years ago, "Just wait, when you
grow up you'll be sick of driving." I guess I must not be
all that grown up yet because I still love to drive. (With the
stereo up loud is even all the better.)
And before I know it, after a few hours or days, as mysteriously
and effortlessly as the blues came.. they're gone. Sun is shining
and I find myself saying, "Wow.. life's cool! This is cool.
Those trees.. I never noticed how cool they are. And those birds,
birds are really cool." Why? I don't know. I just know that
no matter how 'together' some people seem to get themselves
everyone eventually sees the tide of their emotions take on this
rhythmic ebb and flow to some degree or another. Knowing who our
friends are and what it is that distracts us from the gloom is
our first step to doing what we can to weather it out.
As for me, it's been a difficult and strange week. The storm
clouds came and there was no stopping them much as I tried. I
spoke with a good friend of mine over the phone this evening and
she cheered me up even as she simultaneously fixed her dinner.
(She's just amazing that way.) Saturday morning I'm going to
spend some extra time with my kids at our company picnic. By
Saturday evening I'll pack a few clothes, fill up the gas tank
and be Mexico-bound. A bit of sun, some music, the beach, one big
crowd and a few margaritas later I'll be wondering.. "What
was I so blue about?". Hopefully what I won't be wondering
is, "Hey, who's got my wallet?"
--Henry Velez; NricoSuave