Be courteous kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peace full each day.
Be warm and human and grateful,
and have a nice thing to say.
Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wish.
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant.
Be pompous obese and eat cactus,
Be dull and boring and omnipresent.
Criticize things you don't know about,
be oblong and have your knees removed.
Be tasteless rude and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional.
Put a live chicken in your under pants,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.
Steve Martin :) - alternative last line "Go into a closet and suck eggs"