Courtroom Bloopers
Q. What is your brother-in-law's name?
A. Borofkin.
Q. What's his first name?
A. I can't remember.
Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't
remember his first name?
A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness
chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake,
tell them your first name!
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
Q. Ms, were you cited in the accident?
A. Yes Sir, I was so 'cited I peed all over myself!!
Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8th.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?
Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and
were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on
her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning
you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and
shot.
Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.?What
school do you go to?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you?
A. Oral.
Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
Q: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of
this defendant?
A: Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that
sonofabitch- and she did!
Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a
murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
