Perttu eyed Paavo in a suspicious manner. Paavo had had a exceptionally evil grin on his face all through the rehearsal and now Perttu was starting to worry about what might be going through his head. It didn't help that Paavo had a particularly evil grin at the best of times, but this one was bordering on the malevolent demon kind of grin. Perttu knew it meant only one thing.

"So... what have you done to Antero's cello this time?" he asked conversationally while Antero took a toilet break.

Paavo raised a brow. "Who says I have?"

Perttu rolled his eyes. "Innocent doesn't suit you, Lötjönen. Either share the fun, or I'll get my own fun by telling on you."

Paavo just kept grinning, and put some rosin on his bow. Perttu sighed. Damned Paavo! He knew Perttu wouldn't tell, otherwise he'd ruin whatever evil plan awaited Antero. And impatient though he was, Perttu always was in for a cruel joke on Antero's behalf.

Just then, Antero came back into the room and took his cello out of his cello case. He paused, shook the cello slightly, eyed Paavo over his glasses and shook it again. Nothing happened. Apparently satisfied that Paavo hadn’t broken into his case and doctored the cello while he was taking a piss, he settled himself on his chair and checked the tuning.

Paavo grinned again. Perttu let out a noise of frustration. He was expecting something to explode or pop or go off or smell nasty at any moment and it just wasn’t happening.

Well, apart from Eicca farting as he wandered in from the kitchen.

"Alright, is everyone ready? I want us to be able to play this last piece perfectly, so we can start recording next week," Eicca said, in his usual role of leader.

Usually Perttu replied to this with a muttered "Yes, mum," but this time he was too busy looking at Antero, waiting for something to happen. He even missed the cue to start, and fumbled a second before he caught up.

During the rest of rehearsal, nothing happened. Perttu was gravely disappointed when Eicca called it a day, and he saw Antero putting his cello away, and walking towards the hallway. He was just about to whine like a child, until he saw that Paavo's eyes were fixed on Antero, and that evil smile curled his lips again.

Quickly Perttu turned around again, just in time to see Antero grab his jacket, put it on, and reach into the pocket for his car keys.

He frowned for only a second and rummaged in the pocket a little, then, with no sound, fanfare, weird noises, or even a pop, he suddenly vanished.

A moment later Perttu heard a weirdly familiar sound.

“Ribbit”.

Paavo cracked up. Perttu’s jaw dropped.

Where only a second ago Antero had stood, now hopped a bright green frog.

"How… how did…," Perttu started to stammer, but soon fell silent again. Paavo's laughter had turned into a spine-chilling cackle, and the evil grin on his face had now truly turned demonic.

Perttu staggered backwards as, before his eyes, Paavo started to transform.

Suddenly he was jerked nearly off his feet. Eicca grabbed his arm, scooped up the small green frog and ran out of the door. Behind them, Perttu heard an enraged roar and startling crashing and banging sounds. It sounded like Paavo was ripping up walls.

But he had no time to speculate. Eicca shoved him into his car, dumped the frog into his lap and leapt into the driving seat.

“Let’s get out of here!” he screamed. He gunned the engine, planted his foot on the gas and with a squeal of tyres, executed a perfect turn. A moment later he was driving well over the speed limit down the road, with a scared Perttu glancing back at the rapidly disintegrating house with a small green frog trembling and ribbiting in his lap.

Only after they had driven for miles on end, did Perttu manage to speak again.
"How… What…," he stuttered. Forming one word sentences seemed to have become his new way of conversing.

"You forgot to ask why and when," Eicca replied.

Perttu regained his senses enough to glare at Eicca for the sarcastic remark but Eicca seemed to be serious.

"Many things happened to Apocalyptica before you joined, Perttu," Eicca continued, still driving way to fast. "... and we thought it best to keep some things hidden from you. Paavo... is not what he seems."

Perttu thought back of the transforming Paavo, looked at the frog in his lap, and thought, "No kidding."

"Everything would be fine, if only Antero hadn't kept provoking Paavo. Otherwise he'd never…"

Eicca didn't finish that sentence, because all of a sudden the road before them opened up. With a steering manoeuvre that would make Schumacher jealous, Eicca managed to avoid the gaping hole, but not the tree next to the road.

Shaking, but with nothing more serious than a couple of bruises and a slight cut on his forehead, Perttu got out of the car and went over to the other side to see if Eicca was alright.

Eicca lay with this head on the steering wheel, unconscious, but Perttu couldn't see any blood or other wounds anywhere, so he probably had just hit his head. As he fussed over Eicca's well-being, Perttu didn't notice the smoke rising from the gap in the road. Consequently, he squealed like a schoolgirl when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Slight accident?" Paavo smiled sweetly. For as far as a horned, sulphur-breathing demon can smile sweetly of course.

"Eeep!" Perttu squeaked some more, and wished for the first time in years he was just playing at the Hel-Fil. No demons were allowed at the Hel-Fil, he was sure of that.

"Don't worry, Perttu," Paavo's voice rumbled, "I won't harm you. Just give me the frog, and you'll never see me again."

"How… Why…" Perttu stammered again, wondering who wrote the bloody script.

Paavo sighed. "Just give me the frog, Perttu. You were no match for me when I was just human, you sure as hell aren't a match for me now." Paavo giggled -evilly- at his own bad pun, and let a fireball dance on the palm of his hand, turning it into ice, a tube of Pringles, and eventually a balloon.

Perttu stared at it, and wondered in silence: "All this power, and still he can't do anything about that bald patch on his head…"

Paavo's eyes literally shot fire, singing the fur on Perttu's coat.

Ooops. Apparently reading thoughts also was one of Paavo's powers.

"Don't push your luck, boy," he breathed towards Perttu, making the latter gasp for air. "Just give me the frog!"

Perttu, in an unprecedented act of bravery backed off, shoving the frog in his pants pocket. He immediately wished he hadn’t. He still hadn’t asked his mum to fix that hole and he felt the cold body of the frog slide down his pants leg. He really hoped that he didn’t make any sudden moves and Antero would not end up croaked (as it were) and as a green and red stain in his underwear.

He had enough of strange stains in his underwear.

“You can’t have it,” he quavered.

Paavo roared, but seemed powerless to touch Perttu. He advanced and made pretty patterns in the air by breathing fire and brimstone... and Perttu wished he cleaned his teeth more often.

“Give me that fucking frog,” he howled. “I want to punish it. I want to hang it up by its back legs and show it garlic butter. I want to poke it with sticks. I want to mash it in a liquidiser!”

With a hard gulp, Perttu backed off even more. “I won’t let you touch him.”

Just then the frog nipped gently at his genitals. He squeaked, reached into his pocket, grabbed the frog and flung it at Paavo.

“Here. Take the filthy green pervert!” he yelled.

But as he threw the frog, a small golden ring fell from the frog’s leg and there was that complete lack of sound once more. The frantic ribbitting turned into a yelp.

With the ring that transformed him gone, Antero turned back into a human while in mid air. He landed right on Paavo, who, despite his fearsome demeanour, collapsed under the weight of the other man. Before Perttu even realised what had happened, he saw Antero sitting on Paavo, strangling him with both hands, while emitting an endless stream of "Vittuun vittuun vittuun vittu!"

Perttu was stunned, both at the fact that Paavo seemed to be turning human again as well as the fact that the otherwise very co^ol Antero could swear like that.

"I think he’s had enough, Antsa," a soft voice said behind him.

Perttu turned around, and saw Eicca standing there, pale as a sheet and a big lump on his left temple.

Antero swore a couple of times more, but eventually let Paavo go. The latter, now looking human again, lay gasping for air, his face red, and finger-shaped bruises on his neck.

Eicca gently tapped Antero on the back, and helped Paavo get up. Perttu stood aside, still stunned, looking at the three men, who were acting like everything that had just happened was perfectly normal.

"What… How…," he stuttered, for the hundredth time.

Eicca placed his arm around Perttu's shoulders, even as Antero primly straightened his clothes and settled his hair back into place. Then he paused and carefully picked several twigs and an earwig out of Paavo's hair for him. The two men walked off down the road together chatting as if a minute ago one had not been amphibianically challenged and the other hadn't resembled a slavering, green fire-breathing demon from Hell.

Perttu watched them, confused. Finally he looked up at Eicca. "Um.... What the fuck happened? How did Paavo and Antero turn into... whatever it was they turned into... well... I know it was a frog, but what was Paavo and where did he get that ring from and who..."

He was finally getting the questions out, but Eicca stopped him with a beatific smile and, with his arm still draped over his shoulder, he started walking Perttu back towards the house.

"It's very simple really."

"How can it be simple?" Perttu screamed.

"I said there were things I hadn't told you about Apo," Eicca said calmly. "You've heard people say that Paavo plays like a demon on stage? Well, the truth is; he is.”

He laughed as Perttu meeped in alarm and looked as if he was about to run for it. The hold on Perttu’s shoulder tightened and Eicca shook his head. “Don't worry, he's just a minor demon from a low-level plane of hell. Nothing special. But, still, we needed to avoid accidents from happening. That's where Antero comes in.” he paused dramatically. “We don't keep Antero around just because he's such a great cellist. He's the only one able to control Paavo."

Perttu laughed nervously. "Control? You call that control?"

Eicca smiled wryly. "Well, he _is_ a demon. It's in his nature to torment people. And every now and then even Antero's vigilance weakens. But we always solve things in the end," he reassured Perttu. "No harm was done."

"But… the car… and the house…" Perttu stammered.

"All material things, Perttu," Eicca said firmly, reassuring his confused friend once more. "Paavo never tried to hurt anyone besides Antero." He patted Perttu on the back. "You're still with us, aren't you? You're not going to quit Apo?" Now he seemed anxious.

Perttu's head jerked up. "Of course not! Apo is what I live for!"

"Good boy," Eicca smiled. He wrapped his arm around Perttu's shoulders again, and together they began to walk back home.

"Eicca?"

"Hmm?"

"If Paavo's a demon, and Antero is the only one who can control him, what does that make Antero?"

"Some things are best left unspoken, Perttu," Eicca replied. "Especially if they concern Mystery Manninen."

**********
END