Kingston Methodist Cricket Club

Porchfield vs KMCC

28 June 2008

Bright Sun and Windy

STATS LINK

 

So began the fifth KMCC Tour, as many of them had finished: in low cloud and rain. We drove to Portsmouth on the Friday with all-too-familiar covered skies and high winds: June in England. But this year we were a week later in the calendar and did not know just what meteorological delights lay around the corner for us.

 

Queuing for the ferry, the Ex-Quad and the Ex-Skip had arrived early to get some bonus brekky from the Ferry port cafe, soon joined by Barnso, me, Cuttsy and Griff as the team’s silver coupes cruised into Row 11. Picking up Tenzing from the station, the skipper arrived a trifle tardy with Tom in the car completing the 9 of us heading to the golf. Wightlink then blatantly ignored their own queueing system by allowing the skipper to join the quad-mobile on Ferry 1 whilst the coupe troupe had to wait another half hour. Outrageous. “Operational difficulties” were quoted as we were all parked outside Fishbourne for a while. No matter, as among the lively discussion on Euro 2008 (we’d all sell Ronaldo and England aren’t good enough technically), Griffy acquired the nickname “Orbison” which would stand him in good stead for the weekend.

 

Sandown and Shanklin Golf Club soon enforced its etiquette standards on our mainly shorts-clad squad: Barnso was ejected from the clubhouse for wearing jeans, and only white socks were allowed on the course. Despite the chavvy overtones this policy was fine with us, were it not for the fact that that pro shop had just sold Orbison a pair of lovely brown socks. “What am I supposed to do with these?” asked a naturally aggrieved Goose, but no refund was forthcoming.

 

Once we got going, the golf was mainly dry but very blustery and overcast - and with heavy fairways and thick rough the course took its toll on our scoring. Back in the clubhouse it was the over-socked Orby who had won comfortably with 27 points - 4 shots clear of his nearest rival. Having a good 2008 season, the leading wicket taker was now the KMCC Open Champion.

 

After a restrained Friday night out featuring a whip that lasted a little bit longer than normal (mainly thanks to the tour fine system), a fine curry at the Maharajah and some tense games of killer pool, we drove off to Porchfield for a 1:30 start.

 

Despite the dire warnings of an artificial strip (none of us had trainers) the ground was magnificent, the wicket real, and the sun was out. The few clouds there were scudded across on a breeze which had enabled the yacht racers to get round the island in 3 and a half hours. What’s more there was a bar that was open all afternoon and a promise of a barbeque to come. A few of the team’s athletes downed a couple of sharpeners just to aid the fielding.

 

We’d said goodbye to Barnso for 24 hrs or so, but Fellsy had arrived by train to bolster our bowling attack, and the skipper duly selected to field first on a nice big pitch (albeit with one short boundary windward). The Cobra opened with Tom and they both did a reliable job, Tom using the wind to swing the ball to good effect and take two wickets in his opening spell. Despite an innovative use of leg slip Fellsy was unlucky not to break his tour wicket duck.

 

On came Tenzing and quickly broke through, taking 2 for 5 in a three over spell before this was curtailed by the ruthless skipper. At the other end Clatters first spell lasted only 2 overs as a lefty took a great liking to the wind-drifted Fixture Sec’s bowling, hitting 3 sixes into the neighbouring field.

 

Back came Tom and took two wickets in two balls, so he was off, with a career best 4 for 16. Clatters returned along with the Chairman for the full KMCC spin experience and turned his fortunes around with quick wickets against the Porchfield middle order, ending with 4 for 27. Porchfield’s team was a little makeshift at the end but they’d made 139 - enough to bowl at.

 

After a fantastic tea Richard Driver opened the batting with tour debutant Ed Fells. The lefty Cobra swept a four and we thought it was going to be like watching the switch hitting of Kevin Pieterson. However after chipping it to cover, the Cobra was out and looking more like Oscar Peterson.

 

Richard was caught soon afterwards and we were 23 for 2, but this brought together the Ex-Skip and Batman, a fearsome twosome. Alex was limbering up, eyeing the horses cantering in the field next door for target practice. Steve is difficult to get out at the best of times and he was able to play a confident supporting role as the Ex cut loose. There were flashes of the Alex of old - a refusal to run quick singles, falling over chasing wides etc, but in between some vintage smashes over the top and indeed into the horse shed.

 

Thanks to generous umpiring stints from Cuttsy and then the Ex-Quad, most of the touring party and their devoted touring fans (Christine Clatworthy and John and Jan Harry) could enjoy the velour seats and cold beers on offer whilst Alex clubbed his way to a remarkable 107 from our 139 for 2. Accompanying this was much comedy from the sidelines, with Bully lowing away to each mid-wicket six and Robert Mugabe mysteriously appearing to comment on the political issues of the day.

 

With the game won by 8 wickets, it was just left to enjoy the Porchfield hospitality and eat their barbeque, both easy tasks. We drove back to Shanklin as match winners but were swiftly reminded of our status by the ever pleasant bouncer at the Hotel who jealously guarded his fairly rubbish bar, turning away sophisticated Surrey types and admitting a bunch of white-socked chavs. Just Orby’s luck he had swapped to his new brown ones for the night and had to join us in the Village Inn for a very swift last one.