Herby Flo to star in new film!
Though often overlooked, it is important that the character of Herby Flo is not ignored, since it is she that is the giver of life - indeed she is the ressurection. She is also debatably a bit of a young Shirley Temple. Persistant rumours would suggest she is actually the liver of a young Shirley Temple. And not the one you're thinking of either. This Shirley Temple is 3 and lives in Sussex, England. Reliable sources have yet to be found to backup these assertions largely because I am a drunk idiot.
More importantly however was todays announcement by lesser known film makers 'Brillo hair-care'. She is to star first in a remake of that really famous Bruce Lee film. The Hollywood one. However, her version is to be slightly adapted for a modern audience. For one thing the Dick Van Dyke character is to be changed into a dustbin man who loves to eat voles, and Mary Poppins no longer rides upon an umbrella, but a carpet of insectiside.
Largely because going to press conferences takes too much energy, the only information we have on this proposed film is the following promotional image, which is not intended for print, or sight by any of the following : minors, pregnant women, people with back complaints, pregnant men or miners. If you are one of those please look away now. If you are Medussa, the snake woman who turns people to stone, please also look away.
In other news, Flurby Jim has temporarily given up his attempts to bring 'equal' rights to pygmy sheep since in a report given out to the public for the first time today, it was revealed that not only were all the then remaining pygmy sheep culled in 1972, but that anyone currently mistaken for a pygmy sheep is, as rumours would suggest, just a regular sheep being looked at the wrong way through a telescope.
"I was shocked man. Completely shocked. Absolutely and totally, completely, one hundred percent, no doubt about it, shocked. Not what I was expecting at all - shocking." - Flurby Jim, speaking about something completely different, and demonstrating his extensive vocabulary
"I was a big failure. A real lunatic. I worked at this dull bank. I never had any fun. But then one day it all changed. I lost my job, 'disappeared' for a bit to my cellar, and suddenly saw the bright side. So I duffed up my hat, built a kite for the kids and decided to insist they flew it. Everything was okay until we got back to the house and I had to reveal that I was a wolf. At that point they abandoned me, and I ended up helping her from 'murder she wrote' fly on a bed to a mystical island filled with cartoon people. Soon after that I booked into rehad. And soon after that I died." - an unnamed star of the original, fly on the wall, Bruce Lee film.