Flurby Jim returns to old job. Nature lovers (and unhappy people) aren't happy.
Due to an immense lack of response, arguably precipitated by a small welsh man, Flurby Jim was today fired from his magazine post which saw him answering all of one problem letter in 6 months, and consuming copious amounts of alcohol. Allegedly.
Flurby Jim has therefore decided to return to his fabulous sign painting past! His PR manager had this to say :
"I don't exist" - Flurby Jim's PR manager
"Me Neither" - Michael Caine (according to recent rumour)
Flurby Jim's sign painting record is well known amongst the nature lover's and Sega game player's world thanks to this infamous sign :
Which saw Flurby Jim excluded from all meetings of the sign painters guild, removed from serving office as the president of the united states of america, and generally disliked by bears. One bear had this to say :
"Grrrrrooooowwwwlllll (!)" - a bear.
And one supermarket owner, Mr. J. Sainsburry (all similarities to better known chains are entirely co-incidental, according to Mr. J. Sainsburry's lawyer, and anyone else who is an idiot) had this chilling report :
"It was real bad, man. All these bears came in and demanded the right to eat some food. Some even wanted their legs back. And another kept eating my paper. But I couldn't do anything about it. In the end, they filled the supermarket with ice. It is surprisingly cheap you know, and this month only you can get 200g of ice for only 32p! (offer not applicable to people)" - Mr. J. Sainsburry
Other high points in Flurby Jim's career include the Mighty Mouse fairground sign, and, ummm, some others too. A local counsellor had this (entirely unrelated thing) to say :
"We are currently looking for new names for our cat" - a counsellor
Suggestions currently under consideration may include 'Gizmo', 'Charlie', 'Jean Claude' and 'Engelbert : bringer of DOOM UPON YOU'. Of course, it is more likely that these names are not under consideration at all. Since then the cat would stand a chance of being confused with a member of the counsellor's immediate family.
On a final note, Flurby Jim had this to say on the matter :
"This isn't happening - you had nothing else to write about, go away before I get ANGRY" - Flurby Jim
Allegations that Flurby Jim is a big eejit, stupider than everyone in the world, and six times as likely to die of cancer were made up by me in spite, just now.