Flurby Jim in fight!
"This is the sound of someone loosing the plot. Making out that they're okay, when they're not. You're going to like it - but not a lot. And the chorus goes like this : Oh baby, here comes the fear again (oo-hoo), the end is near again (oo-hoo). A monkey's built a house on your back - you can't get anyone to come in the sack, & here comes another panic attack. Oh here we go again" - Jarvis Cocker, proving to a mate that even the bits in bold at the top can be quotes sometimes.
This week, amongst bad news from BatBloke :
and sobering news from a pygmy sheep :
Flurby Jim was treated for cuts and bruises after a fight with some drunken football sort of people. The event in question took place outside a night club in Sheffield, where Newcastle had apparently just played Manchester. Or something. Manchester beat Newcastle in straight sets, and unconfirmed rumours suggest will go on to play 'The Blue Danube' and 'Londonderry Air'. It is not thought at this time that Engelbert Humpadink or his more famous nemesis, Fred Dineage will be involved.
On leaving the night club, the following interchange is reported to have occurred :
| F. JIM | I say lads, that was an awfully exciting match, what what? |
| LOUTS | True! You f***ing f*** f*** s*** **s* *q*qww** |
| F.JIM | I was rooting for Newcastle. Which is a shame because I was so busy I didn't get a chance to come and see the match |
| LOUTS | Newcastle? Ha! (singing) Who's not singing any more? |
| F.JIM | What? |
| LOUTS | You lost - you h** s**d**, so we sing 'Who's not singing any more?' *hic* |
| F.JIM | Well, amongst those currently not singing any more are 'Fats Domino', 'Chesney Hawkes' and, ummm, 'New Kids on the Block'. Why do you ask? |
| LOUTS | Whats that? A tiny bit of intelligence, and still even slightly interested in football? Get him, lads! |
| LADS | *hic* in a minute. We just want to have another drink. And, ummm, become journalists for a leading tabloid! |
| F.JIM | I'm going now |
| LOUTS | Oh, for god's sake, we'll 'get him' then. |
At this point, Flurby Jim was pushed to the ground, and then the group sort of meaninglessly pushed him about for a bit, attempting to create the feeling of group menace without really knowing what it is. Later investigation showed that they had all done Drama GCSE.
Although Flurby Jim was not available for comment, I was able to make tis quote up, entirely on my own with no plagiarism involved :
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, baby" - Flurby Jim