THE RETURN OF FLURBY JIM
The return of Flurby Jim has led to recriminations and celebrations.
First against the wall on the return of Flurby Jim, and at his own recommendation, was 'Christina Matcham'. However, in a typically Flurby Jim way, this was not your run of the mill execution.
To start with, Christina Matcham (henceforth referred to as Fred Bloggs) was covered in bits of fur tree and forced to stand in a road. Then the road was demolished to make way for a bigger road. Finally, a new fur tree was grown around Fred forcing her to be completely asphyxiated.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time. But then so did that time I traded my feet for more arms" - Flurby Jim
Also to mark the return of Flurby Jim, a street procession was created. Entitled 'grass of the ages', it consisted entirely of children's toys, and moved rapidly from the centre of town (no-one remembers which) to a large grain silo. Once there, the grain was taken bit by bit and fed to a rhino. Finally, the ambassador 'really spoiled' everyone. Confusingly with Galaxy Chocolate.
Bill did not turn up :
By ten o'clock almost everyone had gone home except a homeless fellow named Bob, a.k.a. the Prince of Darkness. He insisted that the rhino was his old pal Charlie from Vietnam. The rhino had no comment.
"I have nothing to do with this story" - Bill Gates
Rumours that the rhino and the bear are related, and that both are actually abstract concepts, living off children's imaginations alone are thus far unfounded.
It has also recently been annouced that a new Flurby Jim national holiday will be invented, scheduled in to occur three days after the lesser known Herby Flo national holiday.
Denise Van Outen was even heard to say 'I'm going deeper underground', but this is not relevant here.
Also : Paul Britton continues rise to fame
Following on from his successful Astoria gigs of five years ago, Paul Britton is to tour the entirety of the country, door to door, with his number of milk bottles, each filled with differing amounts of water. Though he was not available to comment, Flurby Jim is reported to have said 'I love Paul Britton', to which Herby Flo alledgedly replied 'I love bacon'