Flurby Jim can Dance!

Despite recent speculation, and amidst stories that he is going to start another new job, Flurby Jim today demonstrated that in fact he can dance. Loosely.

THIS. IS. FLURBY. DANCING :

Flurby Jim dancing

However, while not creating the dance that will sweep a nation (entirely by virtue of the fact that dancers are cretins), Flurby Jim prefers to write his new column - 'Fact vs. Fiction'. A sample of his column follows.

FACT	FICTION
Flurby Jim news is marginally removed from reality	Flurby Jim news is irrelevant
Grass is green	Grass eats children
Tom Jones had a few hits in the '60s	You should buy the new Tom Jones album
Elvis is dead	Elvis was buried alive by President Roosevelt, on a dare
Disney is one of the most profitable film studios in America, per picture	Walt Disney was YOUR FATHER
The Dalai Lama had to escape Chinese ocupation of his homeland	The Dalai Lama is scheduled to star in a West End stage version of the film 'The Odd Couple', opposite Richard Briers
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones	People who live in glass houses shouldn't get house insurance
It is better to let sleeping dogs lie	It is better still to wake them up and dare them to bite you
A scene removed from the original Star Wars movie features that fat worm chap as a human	A scene removed from the most recent Star Wars movie involved the dialogue "Hey, I bet I can eat 100 crackers in under a minute"

Intended to be printed weekly in reputable broadsheets, this column has already been picked up by Rupert Murdoch, and provisionally retitled 'Fiction vs. Fact'. In that order. Meanwhile the rest of the media are either trying to hype up some stupid boy band that will never work anyway, or else muttering inanely about the private lives of politicians, when no-one really cares.