Flurby Jim booked for panto

Flurby Jim has weathered more storms than mythological romans have had sleaze scandals, and his latest problem is having been booked to appear in panto alongside Canon and Ball and the Krankies.


Flurby Jim originally inteded to do this season's 'acting' in a nativity play. Until he received this advice :

"I went to see a nativity, but everyone was so enthusiastic that in the end it turned into an entire retelling of the new testament and I was there for hours. Still though, thats the story of my life" - Jesus Christ

And later, this similar but by that stage, on the whole less original advice :

"I went along to see some guy interviewing mini-celebs in the middle of the day, but in the end the TV chiefs starved of any real talent pushed him onto prime time television to do something about gardening, inbetween a thrilling fly on the wall documentary about people who are never in the room, and another about rooms which never have people in them. Still though, thats the story of my life" - Alan Titchmarsh

Just to prove that they really are at the cutting edge of everything, next year various cable networks intend to launch many competing, but identical, TV shows where people say much the same thing as above.

More relevantly, they also intend to televise F.Jim's pantomime. Inbetween a thrilling documentary about the lives of dead people and another about how you only ever meet three types of people at university, all of them 'wacky' by design. And none of them worth investing any mental thought into conversing with.

Flurby Jim's agent had this to say :

"One more time, catagorically, I do not exist" - Flurby Jim's agent

And the Krankies had this to say :

"Hello, young schoolboy" - Krankie 1

"I'm not really a schoolboy! Its all just an act! I'm just a small woman. Don't you remember?!?" - Krankie 2

"What was that, young schoolboy?" - Krankie 1

"For your own sake, listen to me! You are living in a fantasy world we created only to be funny/patronising towards children. You have been there for the last five years, and it is really worrying me now. Snap out of it!" - Krankie 2

"If you keep that up, I'll have to give you detention, schoolboy" - Krankie 1

It is expected that Canon and Ball had something 'funny' to say. But unfortunately one look at their irritating faces lead another reporter to kick them in before they could say anything.

Flurby Jim is most probably goint to withdraw from the pantomime, as soon as he persuades his tormentors [John Travolta and the Laughing Cow] to calm right down.