Flurby Jim Gives Speech

Flurby Jim, the failed TV and movie star, and the man who has most prominently not written a book this year today gave an alarming accurate speech at the university of Cambridge micro-biology department.


Entitled 'why otters do not ride bicycles', an abbreviated transcript follows.

Hello. I'm Flurby Jim - that most infamous of human beings, and one you may one day have heard of. Today, I'm here to explain to you all exactly why otters do not ride bicycles. I'd like to start by circulating this picture :

Otter vs Bicycle

Which personally I believe more or less gives the game away. That is all I have to say about that.

Quite why the speech was given in the micro-biology department (or at all) isn't current clear. It is believed that maybe Flurby Jim is trying to muscle in on the lucrative 'being a virus' market. When directly asked, he had this response ready :

"Sure, I'd love to be a virus! Think of all the current viruses. I would be a higher tier of virus. For example, think of an established virus we all know - the common cold. That guy really makes me sick!" - Flurby Jim

Herby Flo was unavailable for comment. Probably.

As per usual, several 'celebrities' have been jumping on the bandwagon, but essentially missing the point, since Flurby's announcement.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be a virus. I mean, what about HIV? He greatly lowers my immune system's capabilities and leaves me open to infection from really common bacteria that can usually be fought off routinely and as a matter of course on most any given day" - the cast of Hollyoaks

It is expected Flurby Jim will give his estate to charity. By some really optimistic people!