Herby Flo in Crime Caper!

Herby Flo, reputedly having hit hard times since the failure of her Hollywood debut, Show Girls, was today caught on CCTV shop lifting. Although I may have been thinking of someone else with that Show Girls remark.

In court later this month, her defense is reputed to rest on the argument that shop lifting isn't a crime, under the "things that aren't crimes" act of 2034 - a strangely retroactive bill. If she wins, the shock wave could force the chief justice to overthrow many previous similar convictions. Under the more likely possibility that she loses, she could force the chief justice to overthrow the French government. She is very manipulative.

Luckily for her, she has diplomatic immunity anyway. She just hasn't quite worked up the energy to mention that yet.

Also in the news this week, the man rumoured to be Dobin's replacement should he leave BatBloke for a solo career. He would probably work under the nickname "Boy Typhoid" but is possibly better known to readers under his established name, Trotsky :

Trotsky

Dobin - that really crazy joker dude - denies the split, and claims that this 'Trotsky' has been dead 60 years. He really cracks me up! Trotsky, however, was unavailable for comment. But Lenin had this to add :

"If you see Trotsky, send him 'home' for 'tea', we are all very 'worried' about his health. Please love me." - Lenin

Also available for comment :

"I am the very model of a modern major general" - Jorg Haider

And :

"I'm as human as the next girl, I like a bit of flattery. But I don't need your practice lines, your school of charm mentality. So save your breath for someone else and credit me with something more ... when it comes to men like you I know the score - I've heard it all before." - Gilbert & Sullivan

Plus :

"What's that you say? Free hair dye on the other side of town?" - Miki Berenyi

Flurby Jim would have had something to say. But he was busy. Writing this :

FACT	FICTION
The world is round	The world is your oyster. In actual fact your oyster is just some sea-living shell occupying creature.
Families who enjoy saying good night to every other member get very annoyed when a 4th member is born and suddenly the total number of 'good night's must double	Anyone cares about that
The band, Pulp can finally quite be bothered to release a new album this summer	That album will feature a sample from the 1994 hit 'Trouble' by Shampoo. Or any samples at all.
Sam Mendes will probably get an Oscar for directing 'American Beauty'	Sam Mendes will probably get an Oscar because somebody bet the academy they wouldn't, and they want to look tough in front of their mates
80's and early 90's pop star Morrissey was looking for a job, and then he found a job. So heaven knows he's miserable now	Morrissey penned Hanson's only UK hit, 'Mmm-Bop'
A pie in the mouth is worth two in the hand	A pie featuring onion is worth eating
General Pinochet was sent home due to bad health	General Pinochet was sent home for insulting the referee's mother
Every dog will have his day	Every dog is red
In the valley of the blind, the one eyed man is king	In Bromley, the six eyed man keeps threatening to kill the kids who ring his doorbell and run away. Those kids!