Flurby Jim Judged
Some guy who hardly knows him at all today took the opportunity to judge Flurby Jim's entire character. And was later struck down and killed by a mysterious illness scientists are calling 'knife to the gut' disease. Sources do not at this time expect that the two events are connected. Nor do they expect to be struck down themselves. But they'll learn!
"That Flurby Jim, he is a messed up dude. He's crazy in the head, and to be entirely honest, I think he needs help" - some guy
"Well, its a shock, certainly. I know a lot of my fans will have wanted it to go the other way, certainly a lot were holding out for a 'he's crazy in the arms' verdict, but at the end of the day you reap what you sow, and I'm sure the public will learn to love this ruling" - Flurby Jim's immediate response
"Oh my, this is like in a horror film, right, and the natural next step is that Flurby Jim's feet will fall off, and he'll have an affair with a tall, dark stranger!" - Neve 'Scream' Campbell
"*flighle peoble mneople*" - the noises you expect Ian Curtis would have to have made in order to be able to dance like that
Meanwhile, Flurby Jim has (at least temporarily) abandoned his 'Fact vs Fiction' format for a new series of articles named 'in the shadow of salmon'.
No copies of his article were available at the time of going to press. So I ripped off the idea and wrote my own :
What is it like to live in the shadow of salmon? The answer is simple : nobody knows. Because Salmon are fish, and its really hard to get them into a position where they're in a clear enough stream to actually have a shadow.
Frankly I blame otters! Oh yes, it is otters, my comrades, and not the fellow man that does oppress us so! I say we rise up and take over the government. Then we could have a referendum on salmon and shadows, in a fair, just and balanced society where glasses on street corners are not smashed, and all the ugly people are kicked in the face - gosh, that'll really solve their problems!
Any similarity between this article and any other is a) purely coincidental, and b) quite frightening. Meanwhile a word from our corporate sponsor :
