Flurby Jim & TV : AGAIN

Flurby Jim today resumed his quest for TV fame. You'll have noticed that he does as such every few weeks or so. And then in the seventh minute (for the average case), team rocket show up!

Flurby Jim started the day by going and doing some serious begging at the house of a certain well reputed gardener. Named Alan Titchmarsh. Who turned him down.

"I haven't been this upset since 'Take That' split up. Did I mention that my stage name is Howard?" - Flurby Jim

His next, no less pathetic, attempt was via a small boat trip to the tropical island owned by aging (and rubbish) musician Boy George. Who again turned him down. As did his 'sailor' friend.

"I like the cut of your jib. That isn't a metaphor. I'm a sailor. And don't get me wrong - old technology is good, but you really know where you stand with GPS" - a sailor

Haha! That guy really cracks me up. No, really.

More relevantly, even trying to get a small part on children's television show 'Chuckle Vision' failed. They told him he wasn't [funny / easy to hit with a ladder whilst swirling round and round] enough. Then they complained about a) a muscle wasting disease, and b) the youth of today. I can tell you have lost interest now.

"P.s. I hate you" - her with the hair from TV. You know, that woman with the shoes

At this point Flurby Jim's day decomposed into the expeceted quote frenzy :

"See, the thing about Dogtanian, is that it was made in France - originally in French. Whereas 'dog' is an English word. So isn't that just the luckiest coincidence ever? I mean : who ever heard of 'chien'tanian?" - Flurby Jim

"Hello, and welcome to MVC - the Music and Video Club. We will sell you any CD for £17, or if you join our club by giving us your name and address, we'll cut the price to just £15. Allow us to fit you with an electronic tag for tracking purposes, and the price is £13, and if our records show that you have been attending our headquarters once a week to fill in forms relating to your activities in the previous seven days, and for re-education purposes, you can have the CD for just £10" - a store manager of MVC

"You can have any CD for £10" - almost any independant record store manager

"The problem with the phrase 'the pen is mightier than the sword', even though the sentiment is good and the grammar is perfectly correct, is that no-one says 'mightier' nowadays. Which makes it sound like the original quote might have been 'Oi! Kevin : the pen is mightier than the sword . . . and I know because my big brother told me, and he is the strongerest and most cleveriest person ever, one hundred billion times as strong as your dad' [sic]" - a scholar

All these quotes bring a tear to the eye. I remember the time when Flurby Jim did much more and spoke to people less. That is : when he was the girl from mars. But enough about that. Maybe he'll do some interesting stuff soon.