Rich, Famous and Jolly Jono come out as F. Jim supporters!
Despite his much-maligned move into break dancing a few years ago (many consider his example the basis for the Run DMC 'It's Like That' video, as well as the better known Teletubbies 'Eh-oh' video), many of this nation's best known faces came out today as supporters of F.Jim.
"I was just hanging around when this big hand of doom came from nowhere" - no-one of importance to this story
It was amidst an air of intrigue and oxygen that F.Jim today called for backing from many of the world's leaders, in his campaign to liberate pygmy sheep.
"I used to be good friends with some down the road. Apparently they don't even have the right to come into random people's homes and kick them in. In this day and age, I find this quite literally shocking, and I ask all like minded celebrities, mini-celebrities, obscure-tiny celebrities and Alan Titchmarsh's to join in the shout" - F.Jim.
And join in they did. Most notably a local boy made good, Jolly Jono Chs. He had this to say :
Rumours that he did not say that at all, but that it was added on afterwards are as yet un-confirmed. Also, rumours that the pygmy sheep to which F.Jim refers are regular sheep who he accidentally viewed through a telescope the wrong way around are also un-confirmed.
"'cor blimey mate! I've got so many lit cigarette lighters, they're burning a hole in my pocket! 69 for £0.73!" - a market seller
"I know, how about a 'Poll' tax?" - Margaret Thatcher
Even Damon Albarn, hero of the ages had this (or something roughly similar - we weren't sure) to say in support of Chs :
"Well, I avidly support his move. It's not easy being an art school band who keep making good then making bad . . . . . . WAHOO! AND I TRIED HEAVY METAL! WAHOO! AND I'M PINS AND I'M NEEDLES! WAHOO! 'COS I LIE AND I'M EASY - ALL OF THE TIME, BUT I'M NEVER SURE WHY I NEED YOU. PLEASED TO MEET YOU!" - Damon Albarn
"Actually, I plan to further my cause by having a cynical press ever in need of new heros to disguise the fact that news is usually very dull cover my every move forever, until I eventually die mid-way through my career thanks to the press who created me . . . just in time for them to make lots more money out of it all! please note : Any resemblance to any people living or dead is purely ironic" - F.Jim
That Bill is referring to an English TV show may be above some of our readers. For example, octupuses.
"Despite the fact that both my original girlfriend and my younger brother are now both dead of conveniently moral laden social vices, and that I've been nearly convicted of murder, and my father's business has gone under, and he has suffered a heart attack - all within the space of only a few years - I am still perfectly emotionally stable. And having an affair . . . did I mention I was married?" - Kurt Benson, of Channel 4's Hollyoaks.
More importantly, considering the title, F.Jim expects to have suceeded in his bid to give pigmy sheep the right to do whatever the hell they want by this time last week. Less optimistic estimations suggest he may not achieve it until February of last year however.
