Herby Flo complains of being ignored! (plus : IRA scare)
Although her husband, Flurby Jim, has been appearing in public a lot lately, Herby Flo has been hanging around in the background. Now she wants a piece of the action (figuratively mind).
'Everyone loves a cheeseburger (winner)', or so the famous quote goes. But does everyone love Herby Flo enough to give her the fame she wishes? We asked around. Though we received many responses, perhaps the most significant was :
"Hey man, like yeah! Funky gibbon. Of course I love Herby Flo. She's da bomb" - John Major, former Prime Minister of Britain
Since it was this quote that initially alerted police to the fact that Herby Flo might be a person bomb planted by the IRA. This is not because they took John Major far too literally in an 'amusing' ITV sit-com style, but because I phoned them afterwards and told them John Major had actually said :
"Herby Flo is a bomb person planted by the IRA. Thankyou. And goodnight!"
On hearing this, Flurby Jim had the following to say :
Nobody knows why. Not even Bob Hope (Flurby Jim).
Quite frankly, however, this story is too dull and instead we will now look into the plight of the pygmy sheep. Since Flurby Jim came out as a pygmy sheep liberator, quite a few interchanges have occured on the matter :
"I'm a pygmy sheep. In the pygmy world. Boys are platic, girls are elastic!" - a large cow, making fun
"pygmy sheep are all big eejits, and I eat them" - Kirstin Croney
"Actually, 6 of my best friends are pygmys" - Fred Dinage
"Actually, 6 of my best friends are Fred Dinage" - Fred Dinage's best mate
"I'm Fred Dinage" - Flurby Jim
"No you're not" - Fred Dinage's mum
"I'd like to roll in the clover, with you over and over - on the white cliffs of Dover . . . and then I let you push me over" - Damon Albarn
Which has led Fred Ambimontrous, best known for his work playing Mario the plumber during the early days (later fired because he is coloured only in three distinctive colours, and looked out of place in the later games) to write a gritty pilot episode for a new TV show based on the incident. The initial draft (mistaken by the ITV for a sitcom) goes :
| Jéan Paul | I'm going to blow your head off, you eejit |
| Pygmy Sheep #1 | No you're not |
| 'studio audience' | HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
| Jéan Paul | Sorry, my mistake then. Have a jelly baby. |
| 'studio audience' | HAHAHAHA!!!! HA!!!! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE HAHAHAHAHA! |
| Pygmy Sheep #1 | I can't. As a race, you see, we are currently oppressed and not allowed to eat those by law for now readily logical reason. And we're whipped at night. And my mother died of RABIES |
| 'studio audience' | TEE-HEEHEE HAHAHAHAHA Woo-hoo HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
| Jéan Paul | My mother died too. of the big 'C' |
| Pygmy Sheep #1 | cancer? |
| Jéan Paul | No, she drowned! |
| 'studio audience' | huh? |
Rumours suggesting that the mafia have turned pink are irrelevant, and obsolete ever since the cat in the hat came back.