Herby Flo and Bill fight in title Match!
Today, in a grudge match the like of which hasn't been seen since the infamous three bus incident of 1983, Bill and Herby Flo fought out over the title of 'Best Fighter on the Flurby Jim site'
It was Anthony Hopkins, best known for his former life as an actor, who set up and publicised the event, and Flurby Jim who refereed. For anyone who turned up early, BatBloke and Dobin were on hand to do pre-show entertainment. Their act included a warmup by Alfonzo Fandango, who danced with a monkey, then took all his upper clothes off to reveal a tattoo in the shape of a climbing frame. BatBloke and Dobin however, were the centrepiece of the performance.
At first, Dobin came on alone and danced a funky Russian jig. Then BatBloke joined the stage, and they juggled for a small while, using knives and pygmy sheep, all branded with the word 'underclass'. Completely missing the point, a spokesperson later said this wasn't a Prince style 'slave' stunt, but simply true. Before he could tell us anymore, a herd of pygmy sheep had stolen his ears.
For the majority of their act, they balanced various objects on top of various pieces of memorabilia concerning other superheros. Before leaving the stage, Dobin took a moment to explain why Anthony Hopkins had moved profession.
Though the fight was due to start immediately, protesters would not let anything happen until the Arabian princess, Jemima was returned to Arabian HQ. That no-one knew what they were talking about did not deter them. They were eventually disperesed thanks to a combination of natural gases and revolving floors. For legal reasons, more on this matter cannot be revealed. For emotional reasons, I'm not about to reveal that I am a recent divorcee.
Unfortunately, the fight was very short lived. Although both Herby Flo and Bill turned up, having Flurby Jim as a referee turned out to be the big mistake.
Both Bill & Deidre (Herby Flo) entered the ring, and F.Jim called them both into the centre of the ring, and put his arms around their necks in order to promote friendship. Unfortunately he had misread the handbooks, and this was technically a hug. Mistaking the huddle for a tree, the entire audience left, the majority in less than 0.1 seconds. Those who had been wearing feet clamps (to control excitement) took closer to 0.3 seconds.
At this point the fight was cancelled, because Anthony Hopkins was offered a part in a sequel to 'Silence of the Lambs'. Not to mention the fact that F.Jim had enraged Zeus, king of the gods.
Despite the quick exit, we managed to get some quotes from the audience.
"I'm really disappointed. I was hoping for the heavens to open, and the entire world to be covered in water" - Jonathan Cheesewright
"I'm Fred Dinage" - Fred Dinage
"We've been through this, you large milkshake" - Fred Dinage's mum
"It's me again. Insignificant me again" - Tommy from Space
"Goodbye now" - the man who ended this article.