Flurby Jim TV Show on Hold
Unfortunately, it transpired today that the much publicised (well, Alan Titchmarsh allegedly mentioned it. Once. To his wife) Flurby Jim TV show has been put on permanent hold.
"It is really rather simple. I went into BBC headquarters, and the big boss mentioned that he was thinking of putting me on Saturday mornings. Now the ITV have killed 'The Chart Show', also known as the bringer of life, and replaced it with something no-one will watch, the BBC thought that the time is right to steal back the viewers.
Anyway, because the guy was obviously starting a long sentence, and I couldn't be bothered to listen, I decided in stead to do some thinking about this. I though 'God, to cancel 'The Chart Show' to make way for Ant & Dec must take a real idiot. The stupidest man on the earth. Less intelligent even than anyone on a sports coverage show. These TV people are all really, truly pathetic. I could devour them all. I could make better TV for £1.50. Without cameras! Indeed I could entertain the public better by flogging them'
Suddenly the boss guy was looking at me all offended. He started yelling, and screaming and shouting that the show was off. I realised I had been thinking out loud again." - Flurby Jim
Although Flurby Jim cancelling things is a regular event, him thinking out loud is not. We asked a brain psychologist what the problem might be.
"Well, it is a difficult one. Basically, I blame the USA. No, no, I blame Chs and the Robbers - the best known band of this generation definitely, but also the one with the song that goes 'Every Flurby Jim in the house - think out loud and lose yourself potentially lucrative TV shows (oh, and also - pump this party)" - Bert, the leading Brain psychologist.
Luckily, Herby Flo was on hand to offer some sound advice :
And Bill offered the not much more useful :
"It's a nice day for a white wedding" - Billy Idol