A member of the Gender Trust, member of G.I.R.E.S., founding member of Depend, and member of OII, Tina's experience of providing support to gender and sexually variant clients began in 1990.

She works comfortably with TV, TG, TS and IS people; counselling their friends, family, and S.O.s with equally genuine respect and equanimity.

Through valuing the uniqueness of the individual, and acknowledging the wide spectrum of possible life paths with equal respect, her counselling supports people who have diverse sex and gender concerns in finding their own ways forward to a fulfilling life.

Non-transitioning, pre-transitioning, in transition and post-transition support given.

Tina is at ease with the natural diversity of sexual orientation and conversant with Heterosexual, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Pansexual issues, respecting relationships both within and outside traditional marriage and partnership.

Please be aware that counsellors based in the U.K are unable to prescribe, currently this is the province of specialist gender psychiatrists.

Links

Gender Trust
GIRES
Depend
Press For Change
OII
UKIA

What people say about working with Tina;

"Ladies and gentleman! Boys and girls! Children of all age!

And to whom it may concern ...

I would like to take a few minutes of your time and write to you about the efficacy of on-line therapy.

Me? My name is ... well, I’ve been known by many monikers and guises on-line: Libby, Sigmund, Captain Libido, a Deity of the Internet ... I’ve also been known by a couple of names in the real world. The one I’d like to write to you under today is my real name, the name I will change my legal documentation to when I — finally — change my gender. My name is Kate. I am transsexual and I am currently in transition.

Why the big deal about my name? Well, telling anyone about my gender identity disorder is a big deal. Naming myself as I do even more so.

You see, it’s a secret.

Or at least I thought it was. When I finally came out to family and friends, I was initially shocked, befuddled and then, finally, comforted by how many people that knew me, REALLY knew me. The REAL me. It would appear the only person I’d really been hiding my transsexualism from was myself.

But that’s now. Then? I was hiding. Really hiding this thing. From everyone. Especially myself.

I am presently forty-eight years of age. When I was forty five, something happened to put a crack in the wall I’d erected around the woman living deep inside my heart. As time progressed, so did that crack. The wall began to crumble — and with it my grip on my own sanity.

Lets take a moment to define sanity — or more appropriately the lack of it, all right? Suppose you, dear reader, and I are out for an afternoon stroll on a Southern California beach in the part of Los Angeles County known as the South Bay, during summer. It’s a beautiful day, warm, but with a lovely breeze off the ocean that provides just enough relief from the heat to keep us comfortable. People bicycle, run, roller-skate — or just stroll — along a concrete path next to the sand that locals refer to as “The strand”. They wear as little as possible; whatever their sense of decency — or the law — will allow. Suddenly, we come upon a woman, dressed in parka and snow boots, complaining about the snow and unseasonably cold weather.

Your thoughts about this person? I’ll tell you mine: No question, she’s barking mad. And I’m sure you’d concur. Why? Because whatever world she’s living in, it’s not the same one we’re experiencing.

This has always been a pretty fundamental test for me of how I’m doing on the sanity front. If I catch myself doing one thing but believing another — of engaging in questionable behavior regarding reality — I get to the nearest therapist I can find — a soon as possible. You see, I grew up in a rather interesting family and, well, sanity isn’t our best game. So I pay attention to this stuff.

By my forty-sixth birthday, I was having a little problem with what I was doing verses what I believed. I was taking female hormones to relieve the discomfort of a medical condition, gynacomastia. Also some other spontaneous feminization that inexplicably accompanied it. But I was also taking these same hormones to provide relief from my gender dysphoria, which was slowly driving me batty along with my body changes.

Take a moment to consider: I’d made it to forty-five without transition. I’d worked hard at being a proper guy and I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it — well, at least at the time I did — and I started to get all the changes that go along with hormone replacement therapy, WITHOUT the hormones!

This began to mess with my gender identity disorder in a SERIOUS way.

So I needed a therapist. I knew, without question, it was time to talk to somebody. Only one problem. I’d been to four other therapists over the course of my life — family stuff, remember? — and I’d never been able to bring myself to tell any of them of my transgenderism.

You see, if I tell no one about it, then it can never be real, can it?

So my problem: I needed to talk to a therapist, but the very thing I needed to talk about was exactly the thing I had no intention of ever talking about! A conundrum, yes?

Enter the cavalry. Or in this case, the Internet.

I’d been on-line for a while — lurking in news-groups, frequenting e-mail lists — and had a pretty good feel for what I could discuss on the Internet and remain anonymous. I already frequented several transgendered groups — but it’s not like I’m REALLY transsexual and I’m NOT in transition! — and found a therapist who was working with the community via the Internet, Tina Livingstone. I’d read her posts on-line. I liked her philosophy and her style. She lived in the UK.

Okay, so I’m anonymous, on the other side of the world — United States — and I can break contact whenever I choose. Can it get any safer?

I contacted Tina. Would she be willing to work with me? Yes! We agreed on a minimum number of sessions, a fee, and a method of interaction that might get the job done — Internet Relay Chat. (IRC)

This became our regular thing. Every week or so I’d e-mail Tina to let her know I could be available for a session. She’d text my cell phone and let me know when she was on-line. If I wasn’t already home, I’d get there and fire up the computer.

The sessions were powerful stuff. Working with Tina took the pressure off. She encouraged me to come out for the first time … to my wife. (Best advice from a therapist I’ve ever acted on!) I started thinking in terms of my condition as something I could talk about. Something I didn’t need to hide from everyone. As something that didn’t make me crazy.

It would take me another year before I actively sought out a live therapist — and another year still before I would find one in my area! Working with Tina bought me the two years I needed to get ready for and find a ‘live’ therapist.

I have no idea how that two year period would have worked out if I had not worked with Tina. No question.

A few points to consider. I have been told mental health professionals denigrate the effectiveness of on-line therapy. It’s not face to face. You can’t deal with a client’s body language. Writing instead of speaking can be a hindrance. They’re not within reach if the client should end up in crisis. Etc.

For me, I would not have begun the therapy process, face to face, until I WAS in crisis. Having another method of reaching out, even while maintaining a distance, was precisely what I needed to get the ball rolling. The level of denial I operated with was such that I would have spoken to no one until I was ready to self-destruct.

A text chat was no barrier to our therapeutic relationship, because both Tina and I write well. I can fire off text almost as fast as I speak and I often write better than I talk. Tina functions on a keyboard with equal ease and clarity.

I’ll admit, this method of therapy is probably not for everyone. But it certainly worked for me.

In conclusion, I’d like to say that I’m a big believer in the therapeutic method of healing and recovery. The time and money I have spent working with therapists has been a sound investment. This time has helped me learn how to live with my issues. Not just to survive, but to thrive, live and love my life. It has saved my life on at least one occasion.

My time with Tina Livingstone, via the Internet, was equally valuable.

Now … your mileage may vary. But if you’re struggling with an issue. If your not sure you could actually FACE someone and talk to them about this stuff. If you’re already comfortable with chatting on-line: Then I would encourage you to contact a therapist — someone you’ve already gotten comfortable with on-line — and begin your journey.

May yours prove to be as great an adventure of self-discover and happiness as mine has. "

"When I first came to Tina I had various problems relating to my Gender Dysphoria and, although I had come to terms with being Transsexual, I didn't know how to deal with it and I had various problems which were preventing me from doing so. These problems related mainly to my lack of self-confidence and my desperate need to protect my marriage to a very loving and supportive partner. I was very unsure and very depressed because I was unable to deal with my Gender Dysphoria, so I needed to understand and overcome these problems.

Whilst many transexuals gain support from their friends, from each other, I had no friends in a similar situation, (who could identify with the problems of being transexual within a loving relationship because so many relationships breakdown), and therefore no one who I could also confide in. Tina has been able to take on that role for me. She has an excellent knowledge of the TS community and the problems that we face, whilst at the same time she can also view our situation from the outside, from the point view of my partner.

It was my lack of confidence and uncertainty of my future that actually led me to contacting Tina in 2002. I had no clue as to what I wanted nor how I was going to achieve it. Although I did know that I desperately wanted acceptance from the public and to be treated correctly as a woman, I did not have the knowledge or confidence to achieve this on my own. This was not helped by the fact I knew so few other Transexuals so I could not comprehend that other people were experiencing these problems too, 'I was not alone'. Over the time that I saw Tina she has been able to educate me with the extensive knowledge she has gained through many years of counselling other people like myself. Knowledge that until now I have lacked.

3 years ago I had no idea of how to take myself forward, I was depressed, fearful for my marriage, unconfident and had very low self-esteem. I have also been unemployed for two years and had a terrible phobia over interviews, which was preventing me from returning to work, and I was also afraid of how people would react to me. Today I have started my transition and I now live F/T as 'me'. I am confident, happy and I can actually say I love myself for the first time ever, and today I have just found myself voluntary work, which is the first step toward getting myself back into the system of life.

Tina has been a significant part of my transition, although she has never influenced me, she helped me evaluate how to deal with my Gender Dysphoria and to understand the options open to me and she gave me the confidence to make my own decisions that were right for me and my spouse.

Once I made the decision to transition, Tina helped me to gain the confidence to do so although my transition has been fraught with delays and other problems, mainly relating to my lack of confidence and my low self-esteem, she has always been there to give me encouragement and support and to help me through the difficult times. Tina also supported my spouse during these difficult times when a loved one decides to transition.

Today my transition is a success. I live as 'me', have a loving spouse and a job. This is what Tina and I have been working toward over the past 3 years, for me to transition and get myself back into the work place and to keep my marriage of 24 years intact. Over the past few days I've been thinking about what Tina and I have discussed: about my low self esteem, my fears of interviews and how people would react to me and Tinas' confidence that I would be ok. It's difficult to see it yourself at the time, but now I understand that confidence she had."

"I have never thought that I would need a counsellor.
I am able easily to analyse and resolve problems, I am used to making decisions and do so without difficulty. I have not been unsuccessful in life and I have every reason to think that others hold me in respect.

But for all that my life is a mess! I am racked with grief following the death of a wife I loved with all my heart and my transsexuality, which I have suppressed for so many years, is becoming ever more difficult to bear. I feel alone, afraid, and utterly worthless.

And that is why I need you Tina. I need help to peel away the defences with which I have protected myself for so long, to discover a sense of self-esteem. I need non-judgemental acceptance, informed understanding, humanity. You meet that need and you meet it in a way to which I can relate and respond.

And yet I could not blame you if as I talk your thoughts are far away. So I have watched your eyes, the windows on the soul as someone said, and they betray the woman beyond. A caring and responsive woman who makes me feel safe in her presence.

We have a long way to go, you and I, but I am beginning to feel that with your help there might yet be some hope for me. I do not expect the road to be easy but I no longer feel that my cause is hopeless.

I do not know where all this will end but we are making progress and that is more than I had ever thought possible.

To say thank you seems inadequate but it is said sincerely."

"She Doesn't Bite!

Tina has asked me to describe what it's like when I visit her for counselling… well, I've got no idea what to write as all I do is go there & we chat. But maybe it's rather more than that.

I have no idea 'how' Tina counsels but I have heard her say that she tries to offer "unconditional positive regard" for all her clients & that's certainly true. At times I had zero good to say about myself & was sure the world felt the same… yet Tina knew the good was there & even managed to let me find it for myself.

But that's maybe the key thing in all of this, all I discovered, all I came to realise, all the choices I made, all came from within me. The most frightening person to be honest to is myself, not to Tina. It seems that Tina's role is to help with the personal exploration & to move the chain of thought in the required direction. My direction, on the journey I needed to travel. That direction however may well not be the one I intended, nor the one I wished for, or maybe it was very painful.

So what is counselling like? For me it was having the time to be 'me' & having a person who cared to listen 'me'. It is 'my' safe space, a space where what I said & what I felt was important. In no way did Tina judge or pass comment or in anyway belittle me ever. Even when I let slip my deepest darkest secrets that I was sure I would be hated for, all I ever felt from Tina was respect & love for 'me'.

The hardest part was making the first phone call, arriving for the first session & the first time I had the courage to say "help" in a very little voice. But it does get easier. So it's safe to say Tina Doesn't bite… well not very much anyway!"

Ladies and gentleman! Boys and girls! Children of all age!

And to whom it may concern ...

I would like to take a few minutes of your time and write to you about the efficacy of on-line therapy.

Me? My name is ... well, I’ve been known by many monikers and guises on-line: Libby, Sigmund, Captain Libido, a Deity of the Internet ... I’ve also been known by a couple of names in the real world. The one I’d like to write to you under today is my real name, the name I will change my legal documentation to when I — finally — change my gender. My name is Kate. I am transsexual and I am currently in transition.

Why the big deal about my name? Well, telling anyone about my gender identity disorder is a big deal. Naming myself as I do even more so.

You see, it’s a secret.

Or at least I thought it was. When I finally came out to family and friends, I was initially shocked, befuddled and then, finally, comforted by how many people that knew me, REALLY knew me. The REAL me. It would appear the only person I’d really been hiding my transsexualism from was myself.

But that’s now. Then? I was hiding. Really hiding this thing. From everyone. Especially myself.

I am presently forty-eight years of age. When I was forty five, something happened to put a crack in the wall I’d erected around the woman living deep inside my heart. As time progressed, so did that crack. The wall began to crumble — and with it my grip on my own sanity.

Lets take a moment to define sanity — or more appropriately the lack of it, all right? Suppose you, dear reader, and I are out for an afternoon stroll on a Southern California beach in the part of Los Angeles County known as the South Bay, during summer. It’s a beautiful day, warm, but with a lovely breeze off the ocean that provides just enough relief from the heat to keep us comfortable. People bicycle, run, roller-skate — or just stroll — along a concrete path next to the sand that locals refer to as “The strand”. They wear as little as possible; whatever their sense of decency — or the law — will allow. Suddenly, we come upon a woman, dressed in parka and snow boots, complaining about the snow and unseasonably cold weather.

Your thoughts about this person? I’ll tell you mine: No question, she’s barking mad. And I’m sure you’d concur. Why? Because whatever world she’s living in, it’s not the same one we’re experiencing.

This has always been a pretty fundamental test for me of how I’m doing on the sanity front. If I catch myself doing one thing but believing another — of engaging in questionable behavior regarding reality — I get to the nearest therapist I can find — a soon as possible. You see, I grew up in a rather interesting family and, well, sanity isn’t our best game. So I pay attention to this stuff.

By my forty-sixth birthday, I was having a little problem with what I was doing verses what I believed. I was taking female hormones to relieve the discomfort of a medical condition, gynacomastia. Also some other spontaneous feminization that inexplicably accompanied it. But I was also taking these same hormones to provide relief from my gender dysporia, which was slowly driving me batty along with my body changes.

Take a moment to consider: I’d made it to forty-five without transition. I’d worked hard at being a proper guy and I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it — well, at least at the time I did — and I started to get all the changes that go along with hormone replacement therapy, WITHOUT the hormones!

This began to mess with my gender identity disorder in a SERIOUS way.

So I needed a therapist. I knew, without question, it was time to talk to somebody. Only one problem. I’d been to four other therapists over the course of my life — family stuff, remember? — and I’d never been able to bring myself to tell any of them of my transgenderism.

You see, if I tell no one about it, then it can never be real, can it?

So my problem: I needed to talk to a therapist, but the very thing I needed to talk about was exactly the thing I had no intention of ever talking about! A conundrum, yes?

Enter the cavalry. Or in this case, the Internet.

I’d been on-line for a while — lurking in news-groups, frequenting e-mail lists — and had a pretty good feel for what I could discuss on the Internet and remain anonymous. I already frequented several transgendered groups — but it’s not like I’m REALLY transsexual and I’m NOT in transition! — and found a therapist who was working with the community via the Internet, Tina Livingstone. I’d read her posts on-line. I liked her philosophy and her style. She lived in the UK.

Okay, so I’m anonymous, on the other side of the world — United States — and I can break contact whenever I choose. Can it get any safer?

I contacted Tina. Would she be willing to work with me? Yes! We agreed on a minimum number of sessions, a fee, and a method of interaction that might get the job done — Internet Relay Chat. (IRC)

This became our regular thing. Every week or so I’d e-mail Tina to let her know I could be available for a session. She’d text my cell phone and let me know when she was on-line. If I wasn’t already home, I’d get there and fire up the computer.

The sessions were powerful stuff. Working with Tina took the pressure off. She encouraged me to come out for the first time … to my wife. (Best advice from a therapist I’ve ever acted on!) I started thinking in terms of my condition as something I could talk about. Something I didn’t need to hide from everyone. As something that didn’t make me crazy.

It would take me another year before I actively sought out a live therapist — and another year still before I would find one in my area! Working with Tina bought me the two years I needed to get ready for and find a ‘live’ therapist.

I have no idea how that two year period would have worked out if I had not worked with Tina. No question.

A few points to consider. I have been told mental health professionals denigrate the effectiveness of on-line therapy. It’s not face to face. You can’t deal with a client’s body language. Writing instead of speaking can be a hindrance. They’re not within reach if the client should end up in crisis. Etc.

For me, I would not have begun the therapy process, face to face, until I WAS in crisis. Having another method of reaching out, even while maintaining a distance, was precisely what I needed to get the ball rolling. The level of denial I operated with was such that I would have spoken to no one until I was ready to self-destruct.

A text chat was no barrier to our therapeutic relationship, because both Tina and I write well. I can fire off text almost as fast as I speak and I often write better than I talk. Tina functions on a keyboard with equal ease and clarity.

I’ll admit, this method of therapy is probably not for everyone. But it certainly worked for me.

In conclusion, I’d like to say that I’m a big believer in the therapeutic method of healing and recovery. The time and money I have spent working with therapists has been a sound investment. This time has helped me learn how to live with my issues. Not just to survive, but to thrive, live and love my life. It has saved my life on at least one occasion.

My time with Tina Livingstone, via the Internet, was equally valuable.

Now … your mileage may vary. But if you’re struggling with an issue. If your not sure you could actually FACE someone and talk to them about this stuff. If you’re already comfortable with chatting on-line: Then I would encourage you to contact a therapist — someone you’ve already gotten comfortable with on-line — and begin your journey.

May yours prove to be as great an adventure of self-discover and happiness as mine has.

-- Katherine Blanchard