TURN WORD WRAPPING ON! LISA THE TELEPATH (at least until I think of a better name) BY STEVEN SCOTT TITLE "Lisa the Telepath" Lettering is Bright Green, with a radioactive glow, on a black background. Fade to: INSIDE MARGE'S WOMB - NIGHT (As if anyone would be able to tell) All is quiet, in the background "Inna Gadda Da Vidda" can be faintly heard. The date "1988" appears at the bottom of the screen. In the distance lots of SPERM appear, and shoot past the camera. The camera follows one particular sperm, which glows an eerie radioactive green colour. SPERM (HOMER) Come ON! I've got to win! It swims faster SPERM (HOMER)Get out of my way! Gangway! I'm in a hurry! It swims past the other sperms. They protest it's rude behaviour, all using Homer's voice. The sperm glows brighter as it goes into overdrive, and optionally it leaves a glowing trail. The EGG sees it coming. EGG (MARGE) Uh-Oh. SPERM (HOMER) WooHoo! As the sperm reaches the egg there is a flash. CUT TO : LISA'S ROOM - DAY LISA is in bed, sound asleep. Top down view centered on her bed. It is early morning. There is a knock at the door MARGE (FROM DOOR) Lisa! Time to get up! It's a brand new day! LISA (GROANS) SIMPSON KITCHEN - LATER HOMER and BART are sitting at the table wolfing down breakfast. MARGE is fixing LISA'S breakfast. Lisa comes downstairs, bleary-eyed, and sits down at the table. MARGE Hi honey! How did you sleep last night? HOMER (THINKING) Mmmm. Honey. Lisa turns to look at Homer (no-one else does). He hasn't stopped eating. She shakes her head and turns her attention back to Marge LISA (TIRED) Not well Mom. I havn't been sleeping well for a while really. I hope I'm not developing insommnia. MARGE Hmmm. Maybe I'd better take your temperature. LISA Don't bother. Insommnia doesn't affect temperature. MARGE Better safe than sorry. Marge jabs a thermometer into Lisa's mouth. Lisa sits there, sullen. Marge goes into the TV ROOM. HOMER (THINKING, AND STILL EATING) Mmmm. Sausage. The end of the thermometer explodes. BART/HOMER AAAAAaaaaarrrrrggghhhhhHH! Marge runs back through. Lisa is sitting frozen in shock. BART (COUGH) Cool! MARGE Hmmm. It must have been broken... Marge removes the end of the thermometer from Lisa's mouth. She's still frozen in shock. She shakes her head. HOMER (SARCASTIC) Well duh! SFX : SCHOOL BUS HORN MARGE There's the bus! Bart and Lisa grab their lunches and run out of the door. CUT TO : OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. - AT THAT MOMENT Marge is at the front door. The SCHOOL BUS is parked outside the house. MARGE (YELLS) LISA! Don't forget your saxaphone! You've got to play for the visitors from the FBI at assembly! Lisa runs from the bus to the door and goes in. SFX: FEET RUNNING UPSTAIRS. A second passes and then SFX: FEET RUNNING DOWNSTAIRS. Lisa reappears at the door with her saxaphone and runs to just catch the bus. As it pulls away it almost hits a parked car outside Flanders' house. CUT TO : INSIDE THE PARKED CAR SKULLY is in the drivers seat, MULDER in the passengers poring over a map. MULDER (AGGRAVATED) I'm telling you, I can't find any Evergreen terrace anywhere! SCULLY (ANNOYED) Ohhh, Let me see....Hmm, umm, ohh, YOU IDIOT! This is a map of Springfield MINNESOTA, not Springfield (a truck passes. SFX: VERY LOUD ENGINE NOISES AND AIRBRAKES. The sound drowns out Skully shouting out the name of the state.). MULDER (ANNOYED) I can't belive that Skinner took us off the X-Files and put us on (glowers) Community Outreach. SKULLY Well what did you expect when you broke into the White House to look for evidence that the President was a Grey? The congressional medal of honour? MULDER (SIGHS) It's been a long night. And we still don't know where the Elementry School is. SKULLY Just ask someone. Mulder pokes his head out of the window. GRAMPA is passing by. MULDER (TO GRAMPA) Excuse me Sir, Agent Fox Mulder, FBI. Which way is it to Springfield Elementry School? GRAMPA (THINKING OF SOMETHING) Mulder eh? I once knew a man named Mulder. He was a driver in the old car races, before we had engines. He'd sit in the car and a college football team would push him, and every few laps, or "circs" as we called em, he'd change teams in the pit lane, which got it's name from the deep pits we threw the winning cars into at the end of the race. He always won his races because he was the only American to ever participate and the other countries didn't play football, they played Laccrosse, so he was the only guy who had teams to push him. He always ran his races the same way, you know. First he would start with the Harvard Crimson, then Princeton, then the Army Cadets team, then the Fighting Irish, then Yale, then... As Grampa talks, Mulder covers his head in his hands. CUT TO : SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTRY SCHOOL HALL, LATER. Morning assembly, SKINNER is on stage at the podium, LISA is waiting off-stage, and there are two empty seats on-stage. SKINNER Well, um, with the mysterious non-appearance of our guests from the FBI... NELSON (INTERUPTS O.S.) Ha Ha! SKINNER (CONTINUES) we'll get onto the part that was intended to make them think we were a great school - the music of Miss Lisa Simpson! Lisa walks on stage, and starts to play her saxaphone. She's still extremely drowsy however, and starts to make mistakes. CUT TO THROUGH LISA'S EYES She sees the audience watching her. Notably, BART, NELSON, JIMBO, JANEY and RALPH are all in the audience. Occasionally her eyes bat shut, but the voices continue. After a few seconds of playing badly, she stars to hear voices. BART NELSON JIMBO JANEY RALPH SKINNER HA, ha! She's messin up! Oh dear. She's not doing well.. Jeez, whats wrong with Lisa? Heh, she sucks. Oh, this is bad. I mean, she had It's just as well it perfect the visitors yesterday. didn't arrive. I'll have to be sure to avoid her at break. Eew, that was a bum note. CUT TO : LISA'S FACE. She plays louder, and the voices become a constant cacophony of everyone in the school critisising her. A few people start to quietly laugh. As she keeps playing badly the cacophony gets louder and louder, until she snaps. She stops playing and a green glow ignites in her eyes. LISA (SCREAMING) SHUT UP! MONTAGE - PSYCHIC, MAGGIE, GENERIC TEENAGER, DOLPH Lots of people feel the affects of Lisa's outlash... The fortune teller from Lisa's Wedding falls out of her chair. The Generic teen slips on a floor he's mopping at Krusty Burger. Maggie trips over her gown. Dolph falls over in the Kwik-E-Mart, dropping the goods stashed in his shirt. CUT TO : MOE'S TAVERN MOE is behind the bar, BARNEY is sitting on a stool BARNEY Hey Moe, did you hear that? MOE Hear what? BARNEY I sounded like dozens of voices crying out in surprise before being suddenly silenced... MOE Naw, I didn't hear that Barn. BARNEY Oh well. Another Duff. CUT TO : KANG AND KODOS' SPACESHIP KANG and KODOS stand in front of their viewscreen, which has a picture of Earth on it. KANG Foolish Humans! Unprepared for their own evolution! They both laugh maniacally, then theirs heads explode, ala Mars Attacks. OUTSIDE SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTRY FRONT. MULDER and SKULLY get out of their car. GROUNDKEEPER WILLY walks up to them. WILLY Yer late! They started without ye. A group of windows, where the assembly hall is, flash the green radioactive colour. Mulder sees it. MULDER Skully! Somethings happening! He runs towards the school. Skully and Willy follow. SCHOOL HALL An aeril view of the hall. No-one in the audience moves. SKINNER is slumped over the podium. LISA sits on the stage, several feet back from where she stood, where her saxaphone lies. She gets up, very dazed, and wanders over to Skinner. CUT TO : CLOSE UP OF SKINNER His eyes are open, but unfocused, his tounge lolls out his mouth. Think Ren and Stimpy. SFX: MINOR CHORD CUT TO : LISA'S FACE. She reels back, and gasps in horror. MONTAGE - UNCONCIOUS PEOPLE 4 or 5 Ren and Stimpy style closeups of the kids and teachers in the audience. SFX: MORE MINOR CHORDS CLOSEUP OF LISA She's hyperventilating, and panics. LISA What have I done? I've killed them! She runs offstage. ELEMENTRY SCHOOL - CORRIDOR MULDER, SCULLY and WILLY run along the corridor. We see Lisa coming around the corner. WILLY What? What is it lass? CUT TO : THROUGH LISA'S EYES She sees Mulder, Scully and Willy trying to block the corridor. CUT TO : SIDE VIEW OF CORRIDOR Lisa goes to dive through their barrier, but ends up going over their heads somehow. She rolls when she lands on the other side and continues running. WILLY Ach? I'll get afer the girl, you snoops go see what happened at assembly. Willy runs after Lisa. Mulder and Scully run down the corridor and turn into the assembly hall. They see the carnage Lisa has wrought. SKULLY (SHOCKED) Oh god! You'd better get after that girl. I'll see what I can do here... Mulder runs off down the corridor. FIELDS - LATER LISA runs accross fields in a panic, trying to find a hiding place. WILLY follows her, and MULDER follows some way behind. Lisa looks behind her to see Willy gaining on her. He catches her arm, and she spins around. LISA Let go! She uses her powers and Willy goes flying back 30 feet, knocking Mulder over. Mulder and Willy collapse in a pile. Lisa looks at them for a second, panics, and runs off again, into a convienient forest. WILLY Ach, bloody truants, I dinnae have the time fur this! Come on, lets get in after her. MULDER Are you sure? She just threw you 30 feet. Don't you think we should wait for help? WILLY No. Come on! CUT TO : FOREST Lisa runs through the forest, ducking under branches, jumping over logs, getting hit in the face by twigs and stepping in things we would rather not know about. We hear a helicoptor overhead, and Lisa looks up to see it through the treetops. CUT TO : IN THE HELICOPTOR We see a man load a rifle with darts, but we do not see who the man is. He aims at Lisa through the treetops, and fires. CUT TO : FOREST Lisa tries to continue running, but the darts have hit her back and are sending her to sleep. She collapses. A rope ladder lowers from the copter, and SMITHERS climbs down it. He finds Lisa and picks her up, putting her over his left shoulder. Her foot dislodges his badge, which falls to the ground. He grabs the rope ladder and is winched up, going through the treetops just as Willy and Mulder arrive. MULDER Stop! FBI! Mulder tries to shoot Smithers with his gun, but misses and the helicoptor flies off. WILLY HEY! Come back here, ye lily-livered lilliputian! MULDER What the hell is that meant to mean? WILLY I dunno. MULDER Did you see who it was who kidnapped her? WILLY No, he was too far away. (bends down) But he dropped something. (holds Smither's badge up. Mulder snatches it and looks at it) MULDER Waylon Smithers? THE SIMPSONS DINING ROOM, LATER HOMER, MARGE, BART, MULDER and SKULLY sit round the dining table. BART Lisa was on stage, messing up her saxophone recital when she screamed "Shut up!" and we all blacked out! It was pretty cool. MULDER I see. So nobody was actually hurt much then? BART Principal Skinner was still drooling out the side of his mouth when I was brought home, but nothing much else. MULDER Right. Mr and Mrs Simpson, I think I know what has happened here. Your daughter, Lisa, is ... gifted... MARGE Yes, we've had psychologists telling us that for years. MULDER I mean, she has ... strange talents ... BART Well her playing sucked at the recital. MULDER I mean she is very differn't to you and I! HOMER (stands up) Oh no you don't! I've already been through this with Bart! Lisa is STRAIGHT, OK! SKULLY The bush that my partner is beating around, is that he suspects that your daughter has telepathic and telekinetic abilities! All Simpsons are shocked. MARGE WHAAAT? HOMER Oooh, a freak in the Simpson family, who would have suspected it? BART Great, I spend my life reading comic books and SHE gets the superpowers. MARGE But where is she? MULDER We found this when she was kidnapped. (Gives Marge the card) MARGE (READS) Waylon Smithers. Homer, isn't he your boss's assistant? HOMER Yeah, so knowing him he probably took her to Mr Burns at the power plant...(MUSING)I wonder what diabolical scheme he's up to... CUT TO : A ROOM AT THE POWER PLANT - AT THAT MOMENT LISA lies unconcious on a bed, wearing a straitjacket. Similar angle to the earlier view of her in her bed in her room. There is a one-way observation mirror on the wall. She stirs and wakes up. LISA Ugh, where am I... what happened...(images of what happened flash by) Oh yeah... But where am I? MR BURNS (O.S.) At the power plant. A door opens, and MR BURNS and SMITHERS enter. Smithers is wearing red lenses in his glasses, and we can't see his pupils behind them. Lisa gasps. BURNS Don't bother trying to use your powers against me, we've drugged you so that you can't use them. LISA What? You know about that? You did it, didn't you? BURNS Of course! No-one else is diabolical enough to accellerate the human evolutionary process for their own ends! I havn't been dumping my waste around Springfield just to cut costs you know! The whole point was to mutate the children of Springfield, such as yourself! Before you were born, your father was radioactive enough to create generations of mutations! LISA But why? What's the point of that? BURNS I'll show you. CUT TO : A LARGE ROOM - LATER Lisa, Burns and Smithers stand behind a one-way mirror, looking onto a training room. In the room is a heavily muscled man (BRUTE), about twenty years old, a girl (FIRE), about fourteen, and a boy with bat wings(BAT), about eleven. LISA What the... BURNS For the past twenty years I've been collecting the fruits of my labours! Once I have enough, I'll mould them into a team that no government on earth would be able to stand against! LISA But what has this got to do with me? BURNS I want you on that team. LISA WHAT? I wont help you! BURNS I suspected you would say that, so I have something else to show you. CUT TO : A LAB AT THE POWER PLANT - LATER Computers line one wall. Glass tubes line the other. There is a glass tube in the center, full of water. PROF FRINK is here. Lisa and Burns stand in the door. BURNS Go on. Take a look. Lisa walks over to the tube and presses her face against it. Inside the tube is a clone Lisa, sleeping, looking about 4 yrs old. RECORDED VOICE (BURNS) You will follow the instructions of Montgomery Burns. You plege your life to Montgomery Burns. You are the property of Montgomery Burns. Lisa gasps. BURNS She's been in there for 2 hours. She'll be ready in another 2. She will have all of your enhanced abilities. Then, SHE will be Lisa Simpson! (laugh's manianically) Lisa gulps. Frink glares at Burns. BACK IN THE DINING ROOM HOMER, BART, MARGE, MULDER and SKULLY are still sitting round the table. MARGE So why are sitting here? Why aren't we going to the power plant to get my daughter back? SKULLY Because up until now we didn't know where she had been taken. MARGE Oh yeah... Well, get down there and rescue my daughter! HOMER I'll come and show you around the plant. SKULLY Yes, we'll need a guide. BART And I'll come and save all your buts just like in the films. MULDER Yes, a small child tagging along is very important. Mulder, Skully, Bart and Homer leave. SECURITY GATE OUTSIDE THE POWER PLANT - LATER HOMER pulls up to the gate, and talks to the GUARD. HOMER Hey Buddy! I've forgotten my pass, but can I get into the plant with these FBI guys? GUARD Sure. (Opens gate, and Homer drives through) MONTAGE - They explore the power plant. In each scene Homer points to an exit, and says "This way" before moving onto the next. As the sites go on, Mulder and Scully become increasingly adgitated. They visit the places in this order. Reception. Sector 7G. Cafeteria. Nuclear Core (wearing Radiation Suits except Homer) Sector 7G. Union meeting hall. Burns's office. Cafeteria. Reception. Sector 7G. Nuclear Core (wearing Radiation Suits except Homer who is glowing).. Burns's office CUT TO : SECTOR 7G AGAIN Enter Homer, Bart, Mulder and Scully. Mulder and Scully look po'ed. SCULLY Homer, are you sure you know where this lab is? We've been here 3 times already! HOMER I keep telling you, it's just round here... They leave sector 7G, and they see a door with the sign "Lift to Cloning Lab" on it. LENNY and KARL are on guard though. They hide behind the corner. MULDER There's the lab, but how will we get past those guards? BART Leave it to me guys... I have a plan. Bart walks up to Lenny and Karl. BART There's a vending machine down the corridor that's broken. All the swizzlers have fallen to the bottom! LENNY Really? Lets go get some grub! They run off down the corrodor, and Homer and Mulder knock them out as they pass. BART What did you have to go and do that for? They'd have spent ages gorging themselves on Jolly Ranchers! (points to broken vending machine) HOMER Oh. (to L&K) Sorry guys! BACK IN LISA'S CELL LISA sits on the bed, tied up in the straitjacket & gagged. PROF FRINK enters, and starts to untie her. FRINK Come with me if you want to live, nuung hey. (pause for dramatic effect) And eat this (hands Lisa a pill & ungags her) It'll negate the drugs. LISA Who are you...(eats it) wait I saw you in the lab! FRINK Yes, the process to clone humans perfectly was developed by myself, until Burns found out about it and bought my company. He's been forcing me to do his dirty work for years, with the cloning and the drugging and the genetic manipulation and suchlike. But no more, nung wee! Come with me! Frink and Lisa leave. CUT TO : THE LAB Frink and Lisa enter. Frink wanders over to a computer and starts working. FRINK Keep watch while I shut down the cloning system, munng hey. Lisa wanders beside the cloning tubes, looking inside. Inside there are Hitler, an Erlenmeyer Flask Alien, a dinosaur, Dr Marvin Monroe, Itchy & Scratchy, Elvis, Roswell the Bongo comics alien, and Jay Sherman. She walks over to the tube that had her clone, and finds it empty. LISA Hey! Where's my clone? It's gone. FRINK What? It souldn't be out yet. It'll still be unstable, with the melting and the gooeyness and the carpet staining and the psychosys! Frink works at the computer for a second, and the lights dim. FRINK There. CUT TO : BURNS'S OFFICE BURNS sits behind his desk. SMITHERS looks at the monitors in the wall. SMITHERS Sir, main power has gone down in the cloning lab! BURNS What? Get down there and turn it back on! A LIFT HOMER, BART, MULDER and SKULLY are here. They stand in the center of the lift. Homer blows off, and the others all sniff, then shuffle away from him. He does it again and they move away again. THE CLONING LAB Lisa and Prof Frink are still here. They watch the lights go out behind each of the cloning tubes. FRINK Right, lets get out of here. They run down a corridoor. SMITHERS, BRUTE, FIRE and BAT come round the corner. SMITHERS There they are! Get them! BRUTE, FIRE and BAT charge at Frink and Lisa, but Frink whips 3 syrynges out of his pocket and throws them at them. The needles stick in each of the clones, and after a second they melt away into puddles of green goo. LISA Ewwww. Thats gross. FRINK Molecular destabiliser. I built it into all the clones that they would be susceptable to it, nung hey. Frink is hit by a red beam, and goes flying back. FRINK Ne way! Show Smithers - red smoke comes from behind his glasses. SMITHERS You broke Mr Burn's clones! LISA What... Smithers shoots a red beam from his eyes, which Lisa only just dodges. LISA (scared)Waagh! Lisa uses her powers, and flies at Smithers, ramming him in the chest. She flies round the corner with him, off camera. We hear them continuing their fight off camera, and flashes of light come from round the corner. HOMER, BART, MULDER and SKULLY come out of the lift; Bart, Mulder and Skully gasping for clean air. Mulder looks at the pile of clone goo. MULDER This looks strangely familiar. Homer dips a finger in the goo, and licks it. HOMER Mmmmn, destableised. Bart inspects the goo, and finds one of the syringes and pockets it. The lift doors open again, and BURNS shiftily steps out. BURNS (shiftly) Ahh, (looks at a card) Simpson, I have something to give you. The CLONE LISA (LIZA) comes out of the lift. LIZA Hi Dad! Hi (pause) brother! HOMER Lisa! BURNS We found her collapsed in the woods. We belive she was shocked by a power surge in the school, and ran off in shock. SKULLY And this same power surge is meant to have knocked out 300 students and teachers? BURNS Yes. MULDER Good enough for me. Lets go. Homer, Bart, Mulder, Skully and Liza walk off. As she goes, Liza looks back at Burns, who winks and gives her the thumbs up. Once they are gone, Smithers comes flying round the corner, hitting the wall beside Burns. He slumps to the ground. BURNS (to Smithers) Well, that turned out quite well, didn't it? SMITHERS (moans) T..The girl... stop her...(passes out) BURNS What... The girl? (realises) THE GIRL?! He looks round the corner, and sees Lisa escape through a back door. BURNS Oh Shoot. THE SIMPSONS TV ROOM - NIGHT HOMER, MARGE, BART, LIZA and MAGGIE sit on the couch. MARGE Well, I'm just glad that Lisa's safe, that she's not some kind of mutant, and that's all over. LIZA Oh yeah, it's definitely all over. (eyes light up) CUT TO: FRONT OF THE HOUSE LISA runs up to the front door. The TV room window is smashed. CUT TO: HALLWAY Lisa comes through the front door, and goes to look into the TV room, but Bart flies part her head and hits the door. Lisa looks at him (he's unconcious), then into the TV room. It's trashed, Marge lies on the ground, Homer is trapped under the couch, which has tipped over, and Liza stands in the center. The clone pounces at Lisa, who dodges out of the way, and uses her powers to send the clone flying into the wall under the dining table in the next room. Lisa bends down and shakes Bart. LISA Bart! BART (groans, and recovers conciousness) Lisa..? LISA Bart, what happened? Bart just gasps. LISA What? What is..ack! The clone has sneaked up on Lisa, and put it's arm round her neck. They stumble into the TV room. Bart watches them, his jaw dropped. The clone trips over one of Marge's legs and falls backwards to the ground, taking Lisa with it. Lisa turns over to hit the clone, but the clone uses it's powers and sends Lisa flying through the (smashed) window. CUT TO : THE FRONT LAWN. Lisa lands on the lawn, groans and gets up again. The clone climbs through the window, (they're about 15ft apart) and uses it's telepathic powers. Lisa clutches her hands to her head, and uses her own powers to counterattack. However, she isn't as strong, and is rooted to the spot, while the clone advances on her. When the clone reaches her, it pushes her onto her back, kneels on her chest and holds her down with one of her hands (Lisa is powerless to respond because she's concentrating on telepathy). The clone raises it's free hand to get ready to hit Lisa (the hand starts to glow as well). After a second of this pose, the clone is just about to finish Lisa when the lights in it's eyes and hand suddenly turn off, and it melts into a green goo that covers Lisa. We see Bart, who has just stabbed the clone with the syringe he found in the power plant. LISA Bart! You saved me! She jumps up to hug Bart, but he jumps away. BART Get off, man! You're covered in goo! LISA (looks at self) Ewwwww, couldn't you have done that when it wasn't right on top of me? MARGE/HOMER (SHOUTS O.S.) Kids! Kids! HOMER (SHOUTS O.S.) Bart! Get your butt here NOW! LISA Uh oh. What are we gonna tell them? BART Extremely localised earthquake and (points at goo on Lisa) acid rain. LISA (thinks) Hmph. That'll work. They walk into the house. BURNS' OFFICE - LATER BURNS and SMITHERS are here. SMITHERS Bad news on the Simpsons clone Sir, it went crazy and tried to kill the family. BURNS Oh fiddlesticks. Well, at least we can always grow a new one with the blood samples we got... CUT TO : THE CLONING LAB - AT THAT MOMENT The room is dark, with very little lighting. The camera moves to a rack of test tubes in a refridgerator, and moves along the rack. Each tube is labelled - they read, left to right, BLAIR, GROENING, JACKSON, SCOTT, KRUSTOFSKI, SIMPSON, VAN HOUTEN, ERICKSON, and HUSSAIN. However, the space for the SIMPSON tube is empty, and a stubbed out cigarette lies beside it... (MUSIC : SUITABLY X-FILES'Y MUSIC) THE END