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"At home with the Bush's"

Taken from the New Musical Express - 27th October 1990.

(Scene: A softly lit conservatory, in a leafy backwater of Surrey. Dr Bush, sucking on his stout briar, grapples with The Lancet crossword. Mrs Bush weaves an elaborate tapestry on her handloom. brother Paddy sits on the floor, picking his nose and eating it. Kate Bush enters wearing a victorian smock, her arms flailing wildly).

Kate: Mummy! Daddy! Look! I'm a tree!

Dr Bush: Well done, Kate.

Mrs Bush: Yes, what purity of expression.

Paddy: Look dad, I've made a galleon out of toothpicks.

Dr Bush: Shut up, Paddy. Now then Kate. How was your day at the Syd Barrett Convent For Winsome & Gifted Young Women?

Kate: Wow! We did Winnie the Pooh in drama and movement class! I was Kanga and everyone said I was the best.

Dr Bush: Well done, Kate. Come here and give your old daddy a cuddle.

Paddy: I've been accepted at the Sorbonne. Not bad for an 11-year-old, eh?

Kate: Yawno! Look at this picture I've drawn!

Mrs Bush: That's very good, Kate. What is it?

Kate: It's our house on fire and me saving everybody in it!

Dr Bush: Well done, Kate! Yes, I see now. Look, there's me and mummy.

Paddy: Where am I?

Kate: You burned to death! Ha! Ha!

Dr Bush: Yes. Ha! Ha! Kate.

Paddy: I split the atom on my way home from rugger.

Kate: I'll split your lip in a minute you boring old fart. (Kate grabs for her mother's loom and stuns Paddy with it.)

Dr Bush: Well done, Kate.

Mrs Bush: Herbal tea, anyone?