all aboard!

sometimes there's no hope of getting Parker out of bed and the Rolls out of the garage. It's time to try your luck on public transport!

Occasionally one must venture out to the nearest urban sprawl (in my case Swindon!) to do important things such as printmaking or a dance class. For those of us who cannot (yet) drive the only option is the bus. And this is where our fun begins….

WARNING. This article tries to recreate the boredom of sitting on the bus. Do not read unless you wish to be bored.

9:15 am. Set out from house. Have to walk down hill to bus stop.

9:28 arrive at bus stop-in time for bus exactly. Ha!

9:29 except bus has not shown up. Sit on bench next to 3 old ladies.

9:35 bus pulls in. Ladies reach for walking sticks and shuffle up to bus. Wrong bus.

9:40 queue onto right bus. Laboriously slow but at least a blind man is not mistaking me for handrail this time. About to sit in fave seat when notice sick is on floor. Yuk! Sit on a raised seat.

9:42 last straggler gets onto bus. Doors close.

9:43 bus still stationary.

9:44 bus moving at last. Start driving uphill at 2 m.p.h. Seem to be going the very scenic route - as in visiting villages instead of going up main road.

9:46 sunny outside so warm knee. Blooming freezing draught on neck though. Must be altitude of seat.

9:47 difficult to stay on said seat when driver keeps swerving round bends.

9:50 speed seems to have dropped considerably. V. bumpy ride.
Ah-ha! Have caught up with double-decker bus. Two buses in mad meeting traffic situations. Fun. Oooh excitement - phone ringing…….
But not enough signal to pick up. Bloody countryside.

9:56 look at fields outside. Lots of oil seed rape.

9:57 oh damn. Coach now joined bizarre pootling buses in line. Must look odd.


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