Get a move on.
Want to go en vacances? Stop this procrastination and make a reservation! We have. So has Celine. AND, stop press, Sertab!

Peter Jones.
Where else can one ponder over views of London with a cup of coffee for £1.25? From cutting edge kitchenware to clothes and curtains, not forgetting buttons. It's a day out in itself, and a shelter from the wrongs of this world.

Reading in the Garden.
Rain or shine, grab some cushions, a plate of jaffas (48 calories per cake) and some light literature, then head out where the grass is green to while away an hour or two. Do, however, beware of stumbling into insect territory in these parts - as far as they know it's just another field. Don't squash them on purpose. Perhaps speak with them, but look out for the red ones.

Microwave Cooking.
Even if you've been sat around for hours, dash into the kitchen like you've no time to lose and pop in some ready prepared pasta for sixty seconds on high, mutter swear words as you frantically grab a fork and scoff from the packet propped up against the work surface. Oh if only you were rushing for a reason. None of this slow cooking Aga nonsense forcing you to start cooking at 6am in order to ensure a hot bath come bedtime.

Making a Scene.
Next time you're knocked down by some ignorant fool in the supermarket aisle, adopt the correct procedure. Come to an abrupt stop and draw up to full height, then politely but ever so edgily proclaim "Excuse me, how rude! You ARE a beast! How beastly you are! You really are a FOUL creature. A beast!" Then, decisively walk off muttering "smelly old beast" repeatedly. Note: 'Beast' is used here to represent any word of your choice.

Babysitting.
The lights are low and curtains are drawn. The television humms and flickers in the background. A figure is slouched on the sofa, grazing on crisps and the left over remains of a box of chocolates from the last dinner party. With nothing mid week happening, you may as well do this and get paid for it!

Charity shops.
De-clutter you life and feel fabulous for giving away to charity. And while you're there pick up on some unique clothing at bargain prices. We all know that the richest celebrities live in some rotting mansion/farm in the countryside-so look out for those designer items!

Eclaires and Profiteroles.
Light and scrummy but satisfyingly naughty, what better way to settle a Martini? Our friends the profs are currently on special offer - 33% off at Waitrose until the end of April.

Tanning to excess.
Whip it out, slap it on and glow with pride. There are two ways to go about this: Buy the most expensive pump action vats you can afford, exfoliate, moisturise, apply and deny all knowledge. OR frantically rub in over yesterday's make-up and hope for the best. Hot tip: apply before a night out and watch others gasp with astonishment as you gradually develop a corker of a tan under the disco lights.