ALL NEW DOINGS FROM THE FG TROOPERS!

Scrolling.
And lots of it. No-one knows you've done no work when the blank page zooms at such breakneck speed.

The Waitrose Tour.
With 144 branches - and 20 more coming soon - there's never been a better time to set off Palin-style and discover the individual delights each store has to offer. Be sure to pay by card to maintain records of each visit, and imagine your bank's delight as they monitor your account activity.

Royal Warrant.
Why spend time pondering over lifestyle choices, from teabags to lawn-mowers, when the Queen et al have done it for you?! Pop along to
www.royalwarrant.org to see the full range. Hours of fun.

Washing up.
Hard to believe, we know, but human right legislation means the slaves have gone. Don those rubber gloves and squirt in a generous helping of 'Mandarin and Aloe Vera' - or perhaps 'Mulberry and Rosehip' washing-up liquid, to soften the blow of manual labour. We do it, so too can you.

Family sized.
Diet-culture means there's just not enough on our plates. Upgrade to 'family size' now. Who says families have more than two members?

Planning ahead.
Not usually our thing, but sometimes it IS handy to be aware of the day's activities upon awakening. Just for special occasions mind, e.g. Eurovision, Ikea sale, new Céline album launch…

RP.
Received pronunciation gets you a long way. Not necessarily the right way, but a long way nevertheless. USE: at the checkout. DO NOT USE: in the nightclub queue.