Victuallers' Pantomime Script for a Western
The following is a summary of a script written for a
small village in Derbyshire. The full script is available from victuallers@pantoscripts.org.uk.Productions to date and planned include so far ....
You can now buy this on-line by adding it to your basket, paying ten pounds, and then the script will be mailed to you within seven days.
This pantomime is set somewhere "out west" at the time of Billy the Kid, Butch Casssiday and Gold Rushes. However some of the story has been adap[ted from
The basic original story of Arthur (from Geoffrey of Monmouth and other sources) is
The sword in the stone is a sheriff's badge trapped under an anvil left there by his father.
The "X Calibre gun" comes from the Lake Gunsmith Company
Mordred is still the baddy with an evil mum called Missy Morgan
Mordred plans to evict all the townspeople so that the railroad can come through in a way that suits him.
He gathers six deputies to form the "magnificent seven"
The plan he forms around the table in the sheriff's office takes place over seven nights (The nights of the round table)
The railroad arrives in the final scene
The deputies have skills. They throw axes, draw guns, use lasso's and fire bow and arrows.
Missy Morgan and Merlin appear by video (well that's one way of making them appear magical)
|
Name |
Based on Name |
Wants |
Relationship |
Accent, Mannerisms etc. |
|
|
Arthur |
Principal Boy |
Wants to save the town |
Central Figure |
Nice character |
|
|
Avis von Hire |
Dame |
She entertains at the saloon |
Dame |
Like Marlene Dietrich/ Lily Savage. German. |
|
|
Gwen O'Vere |
Leading girl |
Arthur |
School Ma'am |
Good |
|
|
Merlin |
Merlin |
To look after Arthur |
(Arthur's Fairy Godfather-ish) |
Pops up when required |
|
|
Deputies |
Magnificent Seven |
Various. There's Lancelot, Galahad but also a mute indian. |
Loyal, Skilled |
Fast Draw, Axeperson, Knife thrower, Lasso, Bow and Arrow ... |
|
|
Panto Horse |
Panto Horse |
"Its not a horse … it’s suryno" |
|
Panto Horse. |
|
|
Note |
Our Style |
There are approx 30 speaking parts. Although this number is adjustable. |
Townspeople, Saloon girls, Railroad and Telegraph people and ... |
||
There are eight scenes and a finale. The scenes take place on the town green, inside and outside the saloon, in the sheriff's office and in the woods.
Full text available. Note that in the extract below where it ways "Western" then we will replace it with the name of your town or village.
|
ON STAGE |
Kay, Gwain and Galahad are playing poker. Ike is at bar with Anderson the Bartender |
It’s a saloon. Everyone is drinking. At the bar Ike is playing. Glasses are being slid and occasionally caught. Everyone is talking indistinguishable things, grunts, giggling, shouting and getting generally rowdy. People are moving in and out of the bar during this scene. The girls are collecting Glasses (coming and going) and getting harassed in a friendly way while they do by Poker playing rascals (Gwain, Galahad, Kay). |
|
SONG |
Western Pub music. Honky Tonk Player |
|
|
GWAIN |
Avis Enters and wanders around table |
Hi Avis, Fancy a drink? |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
With good humour |
Well Gvain I like your approach .... but I look forward to your departure ... more. |
|
KAY |
Fiddling with his money |
Avis, come and sit with me ... I'll give you anything I own |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Takes piles of money which Kay Grabs back |
Hmmm Lets schtart vit your money |
|
GALAHAD |
A bit! Drunk, takes swig |
Ahhh Avis Von hire... my sweetheart. Please be mine and we can make sweet music together |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Arthur enters as Avis sits down |
I vas thinking of Beethoven or Vagner Not Brahms unt Lizst Hmmm, You look like my fourth husband (to Arthur) |
|
ARTHUR |
How many have you had |
|
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Arthur is worried and moves to end of stage |
Only three ............... zo far |
|
JIM BOB |
Enters, Seat next to Avis |
Is this seat empty? |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Jim Bob not happy. |
Yah, |
|
KAY |
Kay leaves, Mo enters |
And this one is now - that you've sat down. |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
To Jim Bob |
I never forget a face .... (to audience)but I ope to make an exception for im |
|
AL |
Sits down in Kay's seat |
Hey Avis, Do you want to come back to my place? |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Al not happy |
Vell, I don't know Can two people fit unter a stone? |
|
MO |
Moves to table Has black eye, and head bandage |
Never mind him Avis, Why don't you are I go off somewhere together |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Mo not happy |
Vhat and then I'd be robbing Vestern of its village idiot |
|
MORDRED |
Enters. And all non essential goodies leave to "other room" |
Good evening Avis. (Spit) You are the best singer in the best saloon this side of Tombstone. How about a kiss? |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
Moves as if to give him a kiss |
How kind Mordred for you to give me this chance .... To humiliate you in public |
|
MORDRED |
From catch 22 page 22 |
(stage whisper to Avis) You'll regret that Avis (changing subject) I’m very proud of this saloon. The whole community came together and helped build it. |
|
JIM BOB |
You never helped even though you were invited to. |
|
|
MORDRED |
I know (spit) ... that’s why I’m so proud of it. Actually there are lots of saloons in the West that I didn’t help build .....but I’m particularly proud of this one. |
|
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
You could have been a reschpected member of Vestern |
|
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MORDRED |
Exactly |
|
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
People could have thought what I nice man you are. |
|
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MORDRED |
He loves it |
Oh tell me more! (spit) |
|
AVIS VON HIRE |
People vould have looked at some part of the saloon and said "Mordred Built zat for us" |
|
|
MORDRED |
When Harry met Sally. |
Oh Yes Yes Yes After all the saloon with my help could have been so much better. Now I can have the pleasure of picking fault with every feature and facet of its construction. I am so proud of being so lazy and unhelpful Do you think they really hate me? |
|
JIM BOB |
Oh They don't hate you boss |
|
|
AVIS |
Oh yes they do etc.... |
|
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MORDRED |
Well I agree with the audience. I think they DO REALLY HATE ME |
|
|
IKE |
Puts his drink on the table. Its taken. His men are playing piggly in the middle with Ike's drink. Ike is running round |
Ok lads a jokes a joke, give me back my drink or I might have to do what I did in Tombstone. I don't want to do what I did in Tombstone. |
|
MORDRED |
Oh give it to him lads |
|
|
AL |
Passes drink but deliberately spills it over Ike ... down his trousers |
|
|
ARTHUR |
standings stage left just watches |
|
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MORDRED |
To audience who are "in the saloon" |
Of sorry Ike...(Spit) Although I happen to know that won't happen again I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, As you all should know we have discovered that we have the rightful claim to all the land in this town. (Gasp) I want you all out of Western by next Friday otherwise you'll be thinking that Ike was lucky to just get off with a little playfulness |
|
AL |
Surely If you have the ranch and you also take all there bits of land in the village then won't we end up with ..... "a very complicated plot" |
|
|
ALL |
Come out of character for a minute and agree with Al |
|
|
IKE |
Speaking for the audience |
We don't want a very complicated plot (aside) But we always get one! Its our land, I've spent years clearing tree stumps and planting crops .... you cant'.. |
|
MORDRED |
Do you hear that lad "we can't" .... well who's going to stop me. |
|
|
ARTHUR |
Steps forward |
That enough guys, I'm the sheriff of this town and I'd like you all to say sorry and make up |
|
BADDIES |
Shake hands and apply lipstick etc to Ike |
|
|
ARTHUR |
No not make each other up. I meant make friends |
|
|
MORDRED |
sarcastic |
Oh we're so sorry Sheriff. Lads pick Ike up and dust him down |
|
JIM BOB , AL AND MO |
Pat him down, painfully when Arthur isn't looking |
The script can be obtained in a machine readable form from victuallers@pantoscripts.org.uk Although we require that the script is distributed to the cast in a paper form to avoid a machine readable copy "going astray" onto the internet.
The script, music and computer graphics are still available. Obviously everything is copyright but we understand the need to modify for your community. Other scripts have been written by the same authors.