Victuallers Pantoscripts: Peter Pantomime - SCENE ONE of a modern village Pantomime
This small section was the basis for a production by Blair Russell as a drama project at Shalom Catholic College in Old Australia.
Blair and his cast all got A's. It was staged by
Please note that Peter Pan is copyright to Great Ormond Street Hospital - whichever Peter Pan script you choose then you need to investigate the rights. New for 2004 was
Pinocchio, New for this year is a Western!You can now buy this on-line by adding it to your basket, paying ten pounds, and then the script will be mailed to you within seven days.
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Stage Directions |
The Pantomime was designed for a small village. We have changed the name in this script to be "village". The script is available from victuallers@pantoscripts.org.uk or Victuallers c/o Weston on Trent Village Hall, Main Street, Weston on Trent, Derbyshire. The script can be modified and the music, computer graphics and flying tips are available. Other scripts are also available. |
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Video |
The Darlings house has a false window.(DONE WITH VIDEO PROJECTED ONTO THE WALL) Through the window we can see the papers being delivered (Actress doing principal boy), and the Darlings travelling in and out. During this the credits come up for the main characters. |
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Voice Lighting person |
Indulgent twee voice |
Hugh and May Darling live in a small village in an executive cottage on the green, beside the pinfold... with Nana and their three children Wendy, Michael and John. It's a Sunday evening and Mrs. Darling is just putting the finishing touches to organising the Darling's home. Over the road, Quizgo is just going into the middle round. |
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The Weston Song "Village" is the place that we would rather drink in Its so nice to be where all your friends are drinking Drinking hard and happy and some Quizgo as well Beer it is so magical, closing time is tragical "Village" is the place that we would rather drink in Its so nice to be where all your friends are drinking Drinking hard and happy and some Quizgo as well The Old Pub is the best place to be The start of this song is recognised and we do our best to encourage the audience to clap the start of this song.
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On Stage |
Mrs. Darling. Nana is just visible. The children are in their bedroom. Peter and Tinkerbell are on stage but hidden. Various pub characters are just off stage. Tinkerbell has a PDA (handheld computer) in her pocket.
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Mrs. Darling is finishing dressing (e.g. coat, finding handbag etc) whilst pacing around, looking at watch and checking the window and the door. (i.e. some one is very late and she is annoyed). She mutters to herself emphasising that the person she is waiting for is called Hugh. The scene is half lit; finally Mrs. Darling exasperated pulls out her mobile and phones. The phone on the wall by the fire exit rings |
Hugh was meant to be home hours ago... etccomments about Quizgo and sport. (Quizgo is the game played in the pub - change to dominoes?) ( |
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Panto Person (Musician or Tech Crew) |
Stops what they were pretending to do. Mildly curses and wanders over to pick up the phone. (As if the phone ringing was not in the script) |
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Is that Hugh Darling? |
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Panto Person |
Grins at audience |
Yes, its me Darling |
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May |
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Who's Speaking? |
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Panto Person |
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" Bryan Dawson" (or whatever the person's name is).... .....Darling |
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May |
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I'm looking for Hugh Darling |
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Panto Person |
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You're looking for me darling |
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May |
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No not you,... Hugh |
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Panto Person |
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Who Darling |
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May |
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Yes, Hugh Darling |
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Panto Person |
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What me? Darling |
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May |
Peeved |
No not "you darling", but "Hugh Darling" |
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Panto Person |
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Yeah, me darling |
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May |
Annoyed |
No - Hugh - Aitch - You - Gee - Aitch. My so called husband Mr. Hugh Darling |
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Panto Person |
Keeps sharing with audience |
Oh Sorry! - I'll find him. Just hold the line. |
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Panto Person |
Puts head through pub doors as Man1 comes out in a bright suit - somewhat over dressed. |
I want Hugh Darling |
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Man1 |
Slaps Panto Person and walks off in a huff |
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Panto Person |
Recovers |
Can I have Hugh, Darling? |
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Woman1 |
Woman comes out in a "provocative /tarty" outfit |
You can have me Darling! |
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$ Claude |
Claude comes out of the pub. Claude is dressed in 70's Marks & Sparks, national health specs and acne. He has a Plough waistcoat and badge |
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Panto Person |
Woman1 and Panto Person disappear together linked arm in arm... Panto Person turns round to Claude and says |
Hey, there's a woman on the phone who wants Hugh Darling |
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$ Claude |
Points to himself, looks at audience and indicates that his dreams have come true. He then picks up the phone and in his best seductive voice says |
You want me darling? ( |
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May |
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Is that you darling? |
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$ Claude |
Reveals teeth, and moves glasses to nose. |
Yes, it's me, Claude ... Claude Bottom, Darling. I understand you "want" me |
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May |
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No - No - No I don't want you. I want Hugh. Mr. Hugh, Aitch - You - Gee - Aitch - Huugh Darling. Mr. Hugh Darling |
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$ Claude |
Disconsolate - his dreams have not come true |
Ohhhh Sorry. |
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$ Claude |
Shouts through door |
Telephone for Hugh Darling |
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Hugh Darling |
Comes out through door |
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Voice in pub |
Over sound of singing? |
Pardon |
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$ Claude |
Shouting |
I'm looking for Hugh Darling! |
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Arms come out from inside pub and pull him in. Claude looks over shoulder and grins. Hugh darling laughs as he realises what is happening. |
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Hugh |
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Yess! |
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May |
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Where are you? I only came home to baby sit for our children for one hour whilst you went to an urgent business meeting. You were meant to be back three hours ago. You know I am taking my American clients to see us record the programme tonight |
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Hugh |
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I'll be there in 30 minutes |
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May |
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You'll be here in 5 minutes or the children can look after themselves. It's not as if Nana is here. You know she goes out "walkies" at this time. |
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Hugh |
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Isn't Nana home yet? |
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May |
Looks round, Nana is just visible to audience, but not easily visible by Mrs. D |
Oh all right I see she is home now but she's asleep on your sofa. She'll not move again tonight. I'm leaving now. You better be home in 4 minutes. I'll see you again late Wednesday as I will be in London till then. I'll phone at the weekend if a further diary change effects Wednesday |
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Hugh |
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OK, I'll be home ... |
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May |
Slams down phone |
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Hugh |
Brings sheet out, and exits thro pub door |
....as soon as I have finished my Quizgo sheet Can you repeat the last question please Sandra? |
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May |
Moves to shout upstairs. As each name is called the children show their faces. |
Wendy Michael John I have to go now. Your father says he'll be home in (looks at watch) 2 minutes. Nana is downstairs so she will guard you until he arrives.You'll be good won't you John? Look after them Wendy. Bye! |
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Children |
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Bye Mom, Bye, See ya! |
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May |
Picks up mobile and starts talking. Whilst she does this she gathers together an overnight bag. |
Agnes, I have been delayed, can you please pass on my apologies to the American clients. You will have to stay on late. I need the Account 32 presentation e mailing to Birmingham. Catch the office there and get them to print it out in landscape mode. I also need my blue suit picking up from the cleaners and dropped at the company flat......yes ... tonight! ..... I must have it tomorrow. Oh Yes ..I think it is one of the children's birthdays next week .... Send them a card and a thoughtful present..............I've no idea which one.....It's all on file... use your initiative! |
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Mrs D leaves. The focus now moves to the children. They wait whilst they hear a sports car start and pull off. Then they jump out of bed and switch on the TV, the stereo and the Computer.
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It's my turn to use the computer! |
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Can't we watch the game ... it's the Redskins versus the Pirates |
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Michael |
Switches off stereo |
No you always have it too loud. Dad says we can't use the TV and the computer at the same time. |
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John |
Mockingly |
Dad says.... Dad says .... Who cares...Dad won't be home for hours...and he'll go straight to bed anyway. |
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Switches off TV |
Now, stop it you two, John is right, we can't use both at once. We had the television last time, lets look at the Internet |
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Michael |
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I want to do it, I want to do it. |
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Wendy |
Patronising. |
If you let me use it then I will show you my favourite web site |
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John |
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I'd rather watch the Redskins and the Pirates |
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Wendy |
She opens up the "Village" on Trent Web Site |
My web site can tell you all about the Redskins and the Pirates. I can find secret things look watch this. |
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Michael |
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Boring! |
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( John, |
On the Screen are a number of buttons for the youth club, the school, the PTFA, the village vine |
This is just some scummy village site! Secret things, ....What's secret about those? |
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Wendy |
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Ah, look .... As I move the mouse to make the computers pointer thing (it's called a cursor, Michael) go over these little pictures the shape of the cursor changes. When I move it over the plain bit it doesn't change but when I move it to a button it does. |
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John |
Disparaging |
Well aren't we getting to be a babe of "the net"... you really know how to "surf" don't you. Even Michael knows that the cursor changes when you move over a button. |
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Wendy |
She moves the cursor over a blank area and the cursor changes! (and a button appears?) |
OK then clever clogs watch this! |
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John |
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A hidden link! |
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Michael |
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Click it then , go on, go clicky. Clicky |
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Wendy |
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OK |
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Wendy clicks the hidden link and a screen appears with "West O'Neverland" on it and a picture of a pan. The screen asks for the secret password. Band need to play atmospheric music |
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Michael |
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Brilliant, but where do we get the secret password, clever clogs |
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Wendy |
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I've only got this far before, but I was hoping you might be able to think of something....it might be something to do with the village or Never or Land or Saucepan |
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nana |
. Noises of Nana making growling noises downstairs |
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Michael |
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Oww I can hear Nana! |
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Wendy |
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Shh, I can hear her coming upstairs. |
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John |
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Pretend we're asleep! Quick before she comes and sits on all our beds |
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Children leap into bed and cover themselves, Wendy puts out light but computer is still on. Peter Pan comes out of the computer. He moves down to the main stage. We see his shadow (strong spot Does some playing with his shadow (back projection/white sheet)). He looks at the children one by one and stops for a while at Wendy. She moves, he runs back to the computer, she gets up to switch it off and Peter disappears again leaving behind his shadow (and cuts off Peter's shadow).Wendy quizzically removes the sandow and puts it where the auidience can see it and it is accessible from the ground. She then gets back into bed. |
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Wendy |
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Whoops, tut tut tut mustn't waste electricity. |
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Tech Crew |
Peters Shadow has to come off. Ideas include
Back lighting is replaced by a real person playing the shadow. |
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Nana |
Downstairs: Nana wakes up. Lots of woofing and snorting noises. Roles off te settee onto all fours. Shakes herself then stands up to reveal that she is the pantomime dame. |
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Nana |
Searches round until she finds the audience |
Ahh, OOPS, Sorry Mrs. Darling I must just have had 40 winks after my evening perambulation. Mrs. Darling...Mrs. Darling? ... Ohhh she must have gone. Oh Who are you lot? |
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Nana |
¿ Goes up stairs |
What's the time? Gracious the children should be in bed. Ii wonder if they have bathed. I bet they haven't had a goodnight kiss, if It weren't for me those children would be completely neglected. Ms Darling is such a high flyer, such an important job in television, and Mr. D he gets so bored and depressed with her away such a lot, spends all his time at Quizgo, down the allotment, being tree warden, school governor, Village Hall committee member. He even thought about being a parish councilor last year, but then didn't everyone. Ahh me. I'll go and check on those children |
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Nana |
Trips on something, staggers about |
Ulrika! Come on now you three its time for bed. |
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John |
Sits up |
What's Never land Nana? |
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Wendy, Michael |
Sit up |
Sssh, it's secret! |
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Nana |
Nana tucks in Wendy and Michael and then tucks in John, she whispers. |
John, Neverland is the name of the place where the singer Michael Jackson lives. Ohhh and its also in a book that your mother read to you once when she had a day off a few years ago. The book is called Peter Pan. |
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John |
Nana switches off the lights and moves to her own bedroom. After a few seconds, John whispers. |
Michael! |
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Michael |
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Go to sleep |
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John |
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Wendy! |
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Wendy |
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Yes John? |
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John |
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You know on the Neverland web site, it's not a saucepan, it's a Pan! I think the password is "Peter". Nana says that there is a book about Neverland that Mum read to us once. |
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Michael |
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Mum, doesn't read us books! |
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Wendy |
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No, I think John is right. Mum did read us three a book once when John was quite small and she wasn't able to get to work. It was called something like Peter Pan. When we wake we will have to try it. |
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The computer is stillcomes on and the audience can still see it. There is 30 seconds gap and then windows starting up music starts. Tinkerbell appears out of the now switched on computer.Looks around and spots Audience. Tinkerbells laser light moves round in the dark and Tinkerbell appears from below stage with a red flash. |
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Everything goes black. Enter Tinkerbell in spot - little light, little tinkling. Comes thro door. Looks around |
Ohhh This is an odd web site. Is this a chat room? No. Well its certainly not BBC.CO.UK. Lets look at Peter Pans History File! Microsoft.com, no. It is the home page of Freeserve? Has one of the lost boys sent me by email again. They do that you know. They wait until I'm not paying attention and then attach me to an email. Its not funny you know. Well is it www.lego.com or is it ...."Village"-on Trent? |
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Tinkerbell |
Change this to make fun of the "village name" |
It is "Village" on Trent then. Is that "Village" on Trent@Freeserve.co.uk or is "Village"-on-Trent at virgin.net |
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Audience |
Tell her |
Note. Tech crew or band does not prompt unless the audience is really stuck. |
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Tinkerbell |
Sudden realisation |
What just "Village"-on-Trent. What kind of address is that.? ........You're not a web site at all are you? Oh No! I've fallen thro' a hole in the web. I'm trapped in ACTUAL Reality |
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Audience |
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Yes |
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Tinkerbell |
ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð ð |
I've got to get back to virtual reality, because my human friend Peter has done something really stupid. He's lost his shadow somewhere and he can't find where it is. Nobody where I live has a shadow except for Peter and it is very important that I find it for him. I've got a listing of his history file and I have been following his trail all over the Internet today. But where in cyberspace can it be? Have you seen it? |
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Audience |
Tell her |
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Tinkerbell |
Gets the shadow. Throws away lots of free CDs |
Now, how do I get back into the West O'neverland website? I know ... |
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Tinkerbell |
Makes up rhyme |
Going to West O' Neverland Nothing could be sweeter We know what the password is www dot PETER |
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Peter |
Appears from the computer, slaps thigh. Taliking down to T who is centre stage |
Hello Tinks, what are you doing here? |
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Tinkerbell |
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Oh Peter, you shouldn't have come out here.... You'll catch a virus! |
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Wendy |
Wakes up |
Oy aren't you the person I mean the picture, I mean your picture......bb.....ppp....pers....ppp West O' Neverland.......thingy...... site. What are you doing in my bedroom? |
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Peter |
To Wendy then he walks down and says to Tinks |
Tinkerbell called me. Have you found my shadow? |
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Problem |
Shadow problem mentioned earlier |
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Tinkerbell |
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Yes, Here you are Peter. Erm, We've got a problem. |
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Peter |
Looks for it |
What has my shadow ran away again |
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Tinkerbell |
Wendy wakes and moves down during this bit to ground level. |
Ohhh Peter, it's worse than losing your shadow. We're stuck. |
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Peter |
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We're stuck? How? Why? Where? |
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Tinkerbell |
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We have fallen through a hole in the Internet! We'll never get back... |
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Peter |
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Try typing "West 'O' Neverland" into YaHoo! |
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Tinkerbell |
Scotty impression COMPUTER ERROR SCREEN |
The search engine just won't take it Captain. Anyway There are all these people stuck here as well ... look how unhappy they are ... they must have been here ages. |
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Peter |
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Ahh! These are like real people, but they are ACTUAL reality, not virtual reality. |
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Wendy |
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Non-virtual we are REAL, Really REAL, Really really, really REALLY REAL |
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Tinkerbell |
Touches Wendy, and she can actually touch Wendy! |
Eeuuugh! Real people? You mean they ... (whispers into Peters Ear) |
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Peter |
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Yup |
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Tinkerbell |
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EEEuuuugh! ...And they (whispers more) |
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Peter |
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Yup |
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Tinkerbell |
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EEEuuuugh! ...And they (whispers more) |
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Peter |
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Yup |
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Tinkerbell |
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EEEuuuugh! ...And they have mothers ... and ... fathers! |
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Wendy |
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Well, we've got some, but they're not here much |
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Peter |
To children in audience. John and Michael wake up. |
Mums and Dads! Who needs mums and Dads. You don't do you? They get in the way don't they. They want you to go to bed early and go to school and eat horrible vegetables; clean you teeth and ... they quarrel with each other. I know a place where there are no mums and dads. |
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John |
Wakes up |
I don't want to clean my teeth |
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Michael |
Wakes Up |
But I want my mummy |
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John |
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... but mum's never here anyway. We don't need parents. |
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Michael |
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Oh Yes we do |
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John |
And audience |
Oh no we don't |
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Michael |
And children? |
Oh yes we do |
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Peter |
To Michael, John and the children. |
What do parents make you do? |
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Michael |
Gives a nasty example |
They make us wear school uniform |
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John |
Gives another nasty example |
They make me clean my bedroom |
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Peter |
Moves down ladder. Encourages children in audience to say what they don't like about parents, musicians and tech crew too. |
I know a place where you don't have to do any of these things. I know a place where you can stay up all night and never feel hungry and always eat chocolate and play "Tomb Raider Threefour" for weeks. There is no bathing or washing or dirty dishes because there is no dirt. There is no School uniform or bedrooms to clean It's the best place on the Internet, Its called...WEST O'NEVERLAND! You could come there with me. We can fly virtually anywhere. |
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John |
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Yeah I like the sound of that place |
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Michael |
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But I'd still miss my mummy |
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John |
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I've told you before, Mum's never here....or Dad for that matter. |
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Wendy |
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But Michael, whenever you miss Mummy I am always there. |
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Michael |
Stops thinks |
But I'd still miss my Wendy. |
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Wendy |
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Nana and I always do everything anyway. We'll look after you. |
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Michael |
To Peter |
Who looks after you in West O'Neverland |
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Peter |
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You don't need to be "Looked After" in West O'Neverland. |
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John |
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Come on Michael. Let's go with Peter. |
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Michael |
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OK, but only if Wendy comes too. |
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Wendy |
She does really! |
It don't think it's a sensible thing to do Michael |
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Peter |
Alluringly |
Please come Wendy, we need you to look after Michael. |
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Wendy |
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Mummy wouldn't like it? |
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Peter |
Suggestively |
Mummy's not going to know! |
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Wendy, |
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Well all right then, but how do we do it? |
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Peter |
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First you have to type in the secret password that nobody knows |
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Wendy |
To Audience |
We know, don't we? |
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Peter |
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Oh no you don't |
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Wendy, John, Michael, & Audience |
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Oh yes we do |
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Peter and Tinkerbell |
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Oh no you don't |
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etc |
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Wendy |
With Audience |
But I do know... Going to West O'Neverland Nothing could be sweeter We know what the password is www dot PETER |
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Peter |
Crestfallen |
Ohhhh, you do know!!! You must be clairvoyant! |
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Michael |
Usual look routine |
No she's my sister. I go to school with Clare Voyant. |
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Peter |
Has glitter in pocket |
But you don't know this To get to West O'Neverland you have to think happy thoughts! And then say The nicer your thought the happier your face With a sprinkle of dust, we fly through cyber space |
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SPECIAL EFFECTS, |
Peter and children disappear into the computer |
Michael and John do a Haley into the computer. Tinkerbell, Wendy and Peter hide understage. Computer graphic of children disappearing. |
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Nana |
Enter Nana as they go Goes around looking in each bed in turn. To Audience...Nana needs to out of the audience this information... Has a go at Adults |
Children, Children, where are you? Where are they? How did they get there? Oh, Internet expert are we? History files? Rhyme Think happy thoughts What makes you happy? To Audience Swedish meatballs, Abba, Ulrika Johnson, Ikea, Vikings............ |
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SPECIAL EFFECTS |
DISSAPEARS SAME WAY AS CHILDREN. |
Nana goes understage. Computer graphics mimic as before. |
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Tinkerbell |
Enters |
Okay, they've all gone, you can go home, shows over, nothing to see here. |
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Tech crew & Stage Manager |
House lights on, doors open |
Oh well that's the end of the show. Thank you for coming. See you again next year. |
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Audience |
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Ahhh (disappointed) |
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Tinkerbell |
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Urmm, oh well I suppose you may as well come with me back to Neverland do you want to |
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Audience |
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Yeahhhhh |
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Annoying Kid |
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No! |
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Tinkerbell |
Put house lights back down |
Well come on then. Think your those happy thoughts, all together now Going to West O'Neverland Nothing could be sweeter We know what the password is W...WW dot PETER (nothing happens) |
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Come on your not thinking happy enough thoughts some of you adults are thinking of work on Monday think happy thoughts like of your mother-in-law or torturing your boss/spouse. Once again Going to West O'Neverland Nothing could be sweeter We know what the password is WWW dot PETER |
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Special effects. Zoom in on VH. Show people standing nearby. |
Village hall flying in cheesy wizard of oz tornado, star trek type leaping around, Medley of funny falling Examples Kenny in wizard of oz type killing Shaking audience |
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Show VH picking up and flying away. Faces of astonishment as VH flies off. Modifying a still photograph of the village hall and then removing the VH should be possible. - in actual fact we eventually built a cardboard model of the village hall and some surrounding buildings and then videoed this travelling away. |
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The rest of the script includes Redskins (American footballers), mermaids and pirates. The story is taken from the book and then modified to be internet based. It has all the traditional pantomime elements. This is as far as we know the first panto script to be broadcast live to the web. You will need a PC OR VIDEO PROJECTOR TO DO SOME OF THE BETTER EFFECTS _ OR ANOTHER CLEVER TECH CREW!
Last updated May 2004