The page is too *ucking mental

• Click the  Plastic Surgery button and begin lying about your age. After enough time, someone will pretend to believe you just to shut you the *uck up.
  
• If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. If you are too *ucking mental, please make sure you did not accidentally drop your towel and show your tits to the nation.
  
• To check your attractiveness settings, grab the Paul housemate, and then click Intercourse Options. On the Connections tab, click the Paul Run Screaming From The Room option off. However, since you're running Fast Runner Gangly Arms Upgrade Pack 2001, there's absolutely bugger all of a chance that he'll ever manage to escape your evil gropes. Ever.
• If your Network Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can examine your housemates and discover if you have frightened them out of their poor tiny minds. If you actually have a Network Administrator who has enabled it, please let him leave quietly. 
  If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
  click  Prozac Settings . This will do absolutely nothing and will resolve no problems whatsoever. But you'll think thats ok.
• Some sites require 128-bit Batty Schoolteacher. In the case of Pennys Webpage, a patch will be shortly available which makes 256-bit Unemployed Batty Schoolteacher possible.
• If you are trying to reach a secure mental state, make sure your Security settings can support it. Click the Tools menu, and then click Happy Place.
• Click the  Back button to see if you still have a job. Yes, let's try Radio.