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Get a Grip Girl !
Amma was sat in bed brushing her hair ( gosh the very cheek of her ). Penny told her off.
Jeez woman.
Stunna
The other day when Penny and Helen were reading horoscopes, Penny said Helen would be getting lots of money, and would please her accountant.
' I don't have an accountant ' said Helen
' You will have ' said Penny.
We predict Helen making shitloads of money by posing ' tastefully ' ( NOT topless probably but in tasteful pink / silver / gold bond-gal bikinis ) in any number of ' mens magazines '.
Scarey
Elizabeth has hidden Bubbles last cigarettes in a vain attempt to make them last. His request for a nicotine patch has been turned down by Big Brother. So he asked Elizabeth to hide them for him so he wouldn't be tempted.
Amma suggested hiding them in the tampon box.
She told Elizabeth ' He'll never look in there. They're all afraid of period things. '
Big Brother being Naughty Again
Not that it was enough to make them share ( slightly drunkenly ) their deepest darkest secrets with the whole effing world, now Big Brother wants the housemates who are casting their postal votes for this general election to share their voting choices with the nation.
um HELLO ? yeh RIGHT.
Belting
Bubble played another of his ' hilarious and clever ' practical jokes this morning. He hid Brians belts.
Using Deans microphone ( having nothing to clip his own mic onto ) he said to Bubble ' Where are they '. Bubble said ' Where are they, Stuart? Remind me '.
Brian did a white tornado in the boys bedroom ( frantic searching / tidying ), and then went out onto the patio. Bubble and him went back into the bedroom and ' searched '. Bubble suggested they may be in Deans suitcase, which couldn't be seen. Dean and Stuart came into the bedroom and Dean made Brian all well again by giving him his belts from his suitcase.
Brian thought Stuart had plotted the evil belt stealing but Stuart suggested it was the girls.
Brian accused both Helen and Penny.
' But it couldn't have been me, I know how much they mean to you. ' said Helen, obviously empathic because of her gucci-shoe-deprivation experience.
Brian got dressed, but Bubble said ' You can't wear that belt with that T-shirt, it clashes. '
It Came from Outer Space (or the Prop Room )
' What's a meteor? ' said Brian when early this morning (around 7.30 am ) Big Brother announced that the meteor had struck.
After scrambling into their clothes they went into the garden and found four mannequins ( dressed in Levis - no style detail was given ) with cards attached detailing their specific injuries. These included simulated burns, fractures, shock and unconsciousness.
Paul also told the group the alarm this morning had caught him unawares ' The most embarrassing thing about this morning was when I got out of bed I had a semi-hard on! ' And he was naked.
They passed the test.
Run Granddad Run
Penny shocked her housemates by revealing she once consecutively dated four men over the age of 60.
They ' treated her so well '. ( Thats gratitude for you. )
' They didn't care about my weirdness, They really valued me and loved my individuality. '
( yeh Honey - and your t*ts )
Bubbling Over
Bubbles getting a little shakey and he has warned Big Brother he will get ' really shirty ' with his housemates unless he's given a nicotine patch.
He says if the show's producers don't help him cope with his cigarette cravings he could get ' tetchy '.
Beddy-Byes
When Josh moves in on Friday he'll have to either sleep in the girls bedroom or move Helen or Pennys bed into the boys bedroom.
Holiday Camping
' If you think Brian is a bit camp, just wait till you see me ' about-to-be new housemate Josh said. ' I will make incredible viewing. '
He has only just told his parents he is gay ( after applying to the show and getting voted on ). He told them of his six-year relationship with his partner Simon.
GalPals
Elizabeth once had a sexual encounter with a woman.
' Everybody, nearly everybody in the festival is bisexual. ' she said, referring to her job working for the Edinburgh Festival.
If thats the woman she was talking about kissing to Amma, I doubt said woman would be chuffed if she was watching ...
One-dimensional
1.35am - Helen and Amma they talk about layers people have, and how you find out about people after a while.
' It's boring being one-dimensional ' says Amma
Trumping
1.34am Amma and Helen - talk turns to ' trumping '.
Blood and Guts
1.29am
Helen and Amma in living room bonding over about being greedy guts for food. Then they talk about when Helen had her teeth out ' They were impacted as well '. She went into details about big clots of blood she got afterwards. She couldn't eat and her stomach shrank.
Helen - ' Big Brother has been quiet today he's left us to it today ' says Helen.
Amma - ' Do you want to stay '
Helen - ' I dunno ' ( I think she then said ' Ask me on Friday ' or ' I'll see on Friday ' )
Then talk goes back to Gucci bags and handbags, and general clothing talk
' I'm sure you'll have Gucci shoes I'm sure ' says Amma
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