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Not Brown
' He's not brown at all ' said Stuart about Josh ' He's just got carrot juice in his skin '
What Does Insanity Mean
said Helen
Josh Wears Sunglasses Inside The House
What a twat.
Nominations
Who nominated who
Amma - Paul, Stuart
Brian - Stuart, Helen
Bubble - Paul, Helen
Dean - Narinder, Paul
Elizabeth - Paul, Stuart
Helen - Narinder, Bubble
Narinder - Stuart, Helen
Paul - Amma, Bubble
Stuart - Amma, Narinder
Bye Bye Beefcake - Why Stuart must leave the building, an A to Z.
Stuart and Paul are up for eviction this week.
Why Stuart should go:
a = Apparently he NEVER goes into the Kitchen at home.
b = Brian. When Brian was telling him about the horrible experience of finding a lump in his testicles .... Brian told the group: ' I had to go for a biopsy but it was just a cyst. I thought I was going to die. ' Stuart said ' It could have turned you gay. '
c = Creepy. He makes our Miss Scarletts flesh crawl. ( Stuart do NOT rely on the kindness of strangers ... )
d = DOH. He thinks he is as clever as Elizabeth. DOH!
e = Exercise. He got the girls to ' exercise ' in front of him so he could watch their bits jiggle.
f = Foursome. He said he would sleep with all the girls in the house except Penny in a group-some. Now, even tho we LOATHED Penny, THAT wasn't very nice.
g = Going Bald
h = Human. He just doesn't look human.
i = I. Its all me. me. me. me. me.
j = Jealous. He is very jealous of people for completely superficial things. Tan-contests et al.
k = Knob in bread
l = Loo. He asked his father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter, classily he used a mobile phone while in the loo.
m = Muscles. He likes to work out and show off his muscles
n = Not new-man. New man would not leave wifey and kiddies for a few weeks.
o = Only on for 3 more days. :)
p = Parsimonious (look it up)
q = Queer basher
r = Sole
s = Song, he only knows one
t = Tosser he is one.
u = Unloved
v = Vapid
w = Where did my hair go?
x = X-Housemate
y = Younger, what all the other housemates are
z = Zimmer frame, what all that exercise will lead to
Licky-Copy-Cats
So, they've got a hot-tub, and they're gonna use it ... so they've drunk some booze, so what do they do ? They copy last years housemates and indulge in chinese whispers and backlicking.
Heres who licked who:
Brian kissed and licked the backs of Helen, Narinder and Paul in turn ' I would so snog a girl now. Who wants to kiss me? ' he asked ( Take our Poll - Is Brian Really Gay ? )
Helen said ' Brian are you gay? You've seen my fanny! '
Helen Licked Brians back - ' That was f*cking great! ' he said.
Amma liked Paul's attempts, but Narinder was not impressed by Joshs kisses. ' It wasn't satisfying enough ' she said.
Bubble and Stuart stayed inside, pants intact.
Brian, who suffered a nosebleed while he was in the jacuzzi, said ' I'm so drunk - more than I wish to be. '
Normal
2.47am Amma: ' Josh is more like my friends in real life.. because he's more.. well... normal.. '
UH?
Big Brother Proves Ectoplasm is Real
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' no pissing or gobbing, this is purified water I was thinkin '
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Helen had a terrible fright in the jacuzzi yesterday. In a scene reminiscent of Poltergeist ( which the discussion of oddly scared Helen the other day ), ectoplasm shot out of Helens nose, much to the horror of the rest of the group.
What is ectoplasm ? - A white, viscous substance with an ozone-like smell which is said to extrude from the orifices of mediums and is molded by spirits to assume physical shapes. It has frequently been photographed in such a form, but the existence of the substance has never been proven.
Today we give you that proof.
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I'm sorry, we just don't like you
Josh says:
His most treasured memory is: entering the BB house.. ( Memory like a goldfish then)
His fave body part are his pecs.. ( Would be his dick, but can't make that bigger with exercise )
He dislikes his untidiness ( Cos leaving 2.5k keks in puddle of pee is so wasteful )
He'd most like to be Robbie Williams ( Cos despite perfect physique he yearns to be randy straight dwarf )
& most values in relationship: good sex ( Cos a good mental connection requires a brain. )
Ms Lovely adds - ' And he was nasty to Brian and I lurve Brian. He must go. '
Missing the Missus
00.28am
In the boys bedroom
Stuart ' You alright '
Dean ' Just thinking '
Stuart ' What you thinking about '
Dean ' The Missus '
Matches
00.20am - In the living room Bubble, Paul and Josh talking about matches and tricks with them. They do match tricks.
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