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Times are for E4.
Bubble Popped
There is a female creation entity.
Oh Betty !
Friday 12.37pm
Betty to Josh < whispered > ' Have you noticed that ever since my party the cameras are following me all the time ... '
Josh ' good ... '
What ?
7am
 Naked Hot-Tub Girly Soap-Fest
Bazals lots of Birthday Housemates idea finally paid off and something interesting happened. We can only slightly imagine how the newspaper journos were rubbing their hands with glee tonight ...
Ingredients: Some housemates, lots of alcohol, hot-tubs, soap, treatments requiring lots of touching.
00:56 In girls sunken bath, no boys present.
Betty ' I'm so glad a girl wasn't nominated this week girls '
All girls ' Yeah ... '
Betty ' Moral building girl style ... '
Betty ' I'm glad the ratio is going to be redressed '
Translation: We don't vote for each other right ?
Followed by:
Girls in bath naked want a man to fetch water ...
Shouty ' Brian or Josh!! ... preferably Brian cos we're confused !!! '
Gals ' We could sway Brian ... right now ... naked like this ... nahh ... not Brian ... Josh we could tho ... piece of piss ... he'd be right in ... '
Amma ' I must admit I've been in place where I've been with someone irrespective of sex where sexual tension has been there ... '
Betty ' I'm listening '
Amma ' I've finished '
Betty ' Oh '
Betty trying to persuade bubble to have his toe nails painted for her birthday.
Bubble ' I don't want to do it '
Betty ' Won't you find it liberating ? '
Bubble ' I can't I don't want to '
Betty ' Why '
Bubble really pleading ' It's not something I've done before or want to try ... '
Betty ' Ok, Bubble is exempt '
 Bubble ' What I would have a problem with is that if my girlfriend was in that tub naked with them 3 girls & you went in ( Brian ) I'd have a problem with that ... if you put your hands on my lady I'd have a problem with that ... even looking at her I'd have a problem ... '
( Bubble doesn't know what Sun readers know so it seems )
Paul ' Dean, if Vanessa was in there naked, & a gay bloke went in & started fondling her boobs how would you feel ? '
Dean ' Wouldn't care '
Josh ' The girls won't let me exfoliate their breasts ... they want Brian to ... I don't get it ... '
Brian is refusing to go ... all girls... in distance ' BRI-AAAAN ... BRI-AAAAAAN ... BRI-AAANN '
ooh ... Brians going to go & exfoliate ...
Josh ' They're so sad, they won't let me do it... ' <moan moan>
Paul ' When I first got here I thought Helen was up her arse, now I've got to the point where I really like the girl, and I'd like to have a friendship that lasts ... I haven't done anything out of order ... now Brian might have felt her tits etc. and Big G will have more of a problem with me ... '
Brian ' Paul, you're wanted, and they're rampant in there ... Helens calling you ... '
Girls ' Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaul ... Pauaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaul ... '
Paul not moving.
Josh ' He's scared '
The boys are arguing if it's ok for gay men to be with their girlfriends ... Paul can't stop saying ' Fondling her breasts ' ... it's almost like he's thinking of things to say just so he can insert that phrase ...
Paul just said ' Fondling her breasts again ' ... I'm going to start counting ... starting at 5.
Paul ' I wouldn't be happy with you fondling my girlfriends breasts ' ... 6
Brian ' I've never fondled anyones breasts ! ' - 1.
Paul is in the bathroom ...
... 2.00am
Bubble keeps calling Steph ' my partner ' ... ( We hope the 24 hr possible returnee is subtle about any tabloid stuff ... )
... 2.13am
 Liz being very flirty with Amma, she kept hugging & air kissing Amma..
Betty ' Did they get a vag shot ... up the fanny ... I put knickers on darling ... '
We do have more pics but we didn't want to feel like Larry Flynt.
... 2.54 am
Betty ' I don't want to be a f*ck slave, ... I want to be a f*ck master ... '
Too many people talking at once to hear properly ... they're all manicuring each other & applying leg wax & foot mud baths etc ...
Paul is refusing to get into the hot tub with Brian ...
3.50am DandC contributes
This is Big Brother. For f*cks sake group hug and stop finding each other's inner self's. 14 of the 16 cameramen have thrown up and when Brian just cried I'm sure you must have reached a new level of Sycophancy. Stop it. This is a television programme, not f*cking therapy.
...........
Liz said she was staying up till noon.
4.30am
Helen ' Brian ... show us your tinker ... '
Brian ' No, I just washed it '.
Brian is pissed ( again ) ... and wasn't he told not to drink with the medicine ???
Betty' Oh god this is the most uncomfortable thing ever ... why o why do women inflict this on themselves every 6 weeks.. oh god.. 1-2-3 '
Helen ' Go ! ' < riiiiiiip! goes the leg waxing paper ... >
4.48am
Brians in the kitchen making food.
Rest of house in distance, shouting ' Doh a deer a female deer, ray a drop of golden suuuun! etc etc ... '
Betty, Amma, Josh, Brian big group hug before bedtime.
Amma ' Can I just say before we go to bed, you're all such. '
E4 sound cut.
Betty, Amma & Josh singing hymns very loudly with LA LA LA instead of words ...
Liz - Why She Might Win
Appealing to our basic instincts.
As well as being a subtle manipulator she is :
Wife / Mother
- She cooks a lot, and its always nice quality comfort food.
- She strokes their individual egos.
- She tries to make people feel safe and special ( listening attentively whilst inside thinking of the 70k. )
- She mothers Helen something chronic, but subtly, not in the talk-down-to-way that Dean talks to Helen but in a ' comforting ' way.
- The fake sincerity of her appreciation of Narinders present compares well to a woman receiving a washing machine as a ' birthday present ' from her husband.
Whore
- She wants to be a f*ckmaster.
- She always shows the most flesh, her little skimpy short are very short and ' slightly distressed around the ages ', trust us, this is not accidental. ( Helen doesn't find her ' threatening ' pretty-wise like Narinder - oop ).
- She has the sort of non threatening yet still attractive looks that make some men think they could pull her ( how foolish are they ? ). Thereby getting the ' not so confident but intelligent bloke ' vote.
- Charlie Dimmock style the gal never wears a bra - thereby getting the older man vote.
Also
- She goes from posh to common voice in the same sentence - thereby getting the lowermiddleclass-chip on shoulder vote.
- She appealed to 'nice folk' by saying she didn't like Paul ( ? ) spitting.
- Fauxs vulnerability thing that Paul / Bubble will fall for thus not getting nominated by them.
- She calls her outfit for going out of house ' exit outfit ' not ' eviction outfit ' therefore disassociating herself from word ' evicted '.
- Girls like her cos she is intelligent, doesn't make women look stupid or men-hating, and doesn't look like she'd steal your boyfriend.
- She is confiding in the 2 she wants to remain with.
- She manages to talk about nominations and strategy without getting told off.
Wanker
We saw this in popbitch ' Which female Big Brother contestant practiced masturbating under a duvet before entering the house - as she wasn't used to a ' low key ' technique ? '.
World Record
The world record for the most unenthusiastically sang version of Happy Birthday goes to the housemates.
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