Message Board topics include boredom and housemates abuse.  Go on - Have a good bitch ! >>  

'because its not just the housemates who should be paranoid'

Times are for E4.

New Task

Housemates have been asked to write a soap opera about the house, they have to perform all the parts themselves including all evicted house mates.

Brian will play Josh

Josh will play Brian

Dean will play Naz & Bubble

Liz will play Amma

Amma will play Liz

The graduate thinks up another killer task ...  who said the university system was shite.

Vanessa Feltz on Housemates

Josh ' not lived up to hype '

Betty ' Hates her ... sneaky evil nasty woman. '

Amma ' Nasty who waits until they go onto a show like this to tell mum she's a lapdancer ... she's full of hatred. '

Helen ' I like her more & more ... she's very sweet, she's childlike '

Paul ' I like him more & more, he's a bit dull '

Oh ...  then in true Dermot Leary interview style he doesn't ask about Dean ... or Brian ...

Well, that says it all really ...

Fishy

Josh is tending the goldfish ...

Brian ' Stuart was fantastic with those fish, they never wanted for anything ... '

Josh ' I'm good with them too ... '

Brian ' Ooooooooooooh '

Amma ' The fish are like the people in this house, the women eat all the food '

Amma ' Womens BO is a lot sweeter '

Amma ' I like the smell of mens BO '

Astronomy

Paul argued with Dean that Saturn is closer to Earth than Jupiter - and said he was willing to put £50 on it.

Oops.

A bit about Bichon Frise

Bichon Frise.org describes the dog as a ' Live Stuffed Toy '. And thats from people who like cute little white fluffy barking pom-poms. If you really really love your living stuffed toy you can cook him special cookies using the Bichon Frise Cookery Book, we kid you not, there are even special cookie cutters ...

Paddysyear

11.50pm

Helen ' Paddysyear '

Dean '  What ? ' 

Helen ' Paddys year '

Dean ' Oh, Paddy's Here ! ... I thought you were speaking french ... Pa d'jour ... '

Helen ' Me ? speaking french. '

Dean ' Hmmm ... '

Stating the Obvious

2.49am

Paul ' Have a nice sleep '

Helen ' Thanks, see you tomorrow '

Paul ' Definitely ... '

Discussing Brians Awful Geography

1.53am

Helen ' I know the capital of England ... '

Helen ' Is the capital of America Washington ? '

Brian ' The capital of Portugal ... Al ... Al ...  '

Helen ' The Algarve '

Brian ' America ... ? New York ? '

Helen ' noooo Washington ! '

Serious Talk

6.30pm Dean and Amma are sat around discussing race.

Dean talks about being ' half of each ' but that ' people only see one half ', he says ' half caste people are neither one or the other ', ' If I said I was black, It's like my ( white Irish ) mother doesn't count '. 

Amma goes on to to talk about how she isn't accepted or perceived as ' black ' because of the way she talks and acts, but says when she visits Ghana ' it's not an issue, but in Ghana I'm seen as half caste because my skin is paler '

They then talk about Tiger Woods, and the whole ' scandal ' he caused when he called himself ' Cablinasian ' ( because Tiger is one-forth black, one-forth Thai, one-forth Chinese, one-eighth white, and one-eighth American Indian. ).

 ' It's peoples perception, it's so weird ' says Dean.

Gal Is Too Glitter

Helen ( checking her hair ) ' They look so bad '  ( her roots )  

Amma '  How long ago did you do them? '

Helen ' About 4 weeks ? They are so bad '

Amma ' It's ok, you don't look like a ' Sharon ' yet. '

Helen '  Sharon who ? ' 

Poor Bitch

The housemates have a pooch. A Bichon Freise called Paddy which they have to train. They'll have Paddy for four days and will have to spend four hours every day training it. By the end of the four days, Paddy should be able to perform four out of eight tricks.

I have full faith in Lizzie being able to make the old dog sit and beg.

We imagine that this task idea sounded like a good one to the graduate who thought it up.

Much As I Didn't like Bubble

I thought I was watching ' Trisha ' when Davina told showed Bubble the headline about his girlfriend in the tabloids.  A new low.

Bubble Trouble ?

News at Ananova about Bubble possibly to be questioned by the police. Ananova - Evicted Bubble faces police interview.

Bubble Popped

There is a female creation entity.