Message Board topics include boredom and housemates abuse.  Go on - Have a good bitch ! >>  

'because its not just the housemates who should be paranoid'

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Paddys 404

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Lush

Paul and Helen had whispery ice-cream fun this afternoon, rubbing each other with choc-ices. They were discussing AGAIN how what they're doing will be seen by people, and said they were only having a laugh. 

Helen ' It takes two to tango, and we've been tangoed '

There's No Stopping Her

Lizzie has moved onto Brian. Trying to schmooze him. Disguising this as a ' skit ' on Helen and Paul, she got physical with Brian.

Sunday Papers

Sunday People - Pauls dad says Paul would never shag on camera ( yes, the best person to ask about someones sexual behaviour is their parent ). Josh said Paul is using Helen to stay in the house and that she should beware. Joshs brother says that the vote was rigged, in the way that plenty of Helen footage was shown to encourage people to vote out Mr Six-Pack Manifesto.

Meaty

16.05pm

Betty ' if Amma was here she'd be eating this meat raw.. '

Helen ' yeah.. '

Dean ' 2WHAT!?!? raw meat?!? no! '

Betty ' Yes, she'd eat raw meat of any kind.. pork '

Dean ' Thats is wrong! you're not supposed to do that ! '

Betty ' Well, we were designed to do that originally... '

Dean ' Well, we could breath under water once but I wouldn't try that now... '

Will They Won't They

3.39am ( web )

Helen and Paul go back into the house to go to bed.

Paul said he's definitely sleeping in there tomorrow ... and will ' pad it out properly ... '

3.24am ( E4 )

Paul '  I've been out with some good looking girls and lets be frank if there's nothing between the ears it's not going to last very long is it ... some girls who couldn't string a sentence together ... '

2.59am Helen turns away as Paul drones on	' its totally just not cool, well its cool, but not cool actually ' Paul said

They then go on to discuss mobile phones, Helen has the one Drew Barrymore uses in Charlies Angels, the Nokia 8210.

Helen ' When i get home I'll have to put in Paul BB ' 

Paul ' Paul Big Bollocks '

Helen ' NO !! Paul Big Brother '

2.50am

Helen ' We've all got sexual stories our mums don't know '

2.41am

Paul ' I tell my mum a lot '

Paul ' Not sex stuff obviously '

...

Hut Fun

2.19am ( E4 )

Paul and Helen sleeping in the hut tonight. They are snuggled up and playing snakes and ladders. ( ? ).

Paul '  How many spiders do you think you eat in your sleep a year '

Helen '  EAT ?!? '

Paul '  Eat ... '

Helen '  None ... '

Paul '  3 ... three per year ... '

Helen '................. ' stunned.

Tea

01.26am ( web )

Paul and Helen making tea in the kitchen.

Kerplunk

During the hot-tub sex talk the other housemates played Kerplunk.

Shall We Shan't We

00.30am ( E4 )

Helen ' we sleeping in the den or no '

Paul ' .....

Helen ' I want to ! '

Paul ' I want to but I'm worried ...  < long pause >

Helen ' what about ... '

Paul ' I think that he's' ... oh I dunno I think its a bit dodgy ... '

Helen ' but I wanna sleep in there ... '

Paul ' but it will look dodgy to big G ... '

Helen ' awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...but I want to.. '

Paul ' but it's dodgy... '

Helen ' ok, we're not going to sleep in there but after the hot tub we'll go in there & chat then ... '

Paul ' ok, well do that.. I want to sleep in there.. but it doesn't look good.. a chats ok innit.. '

Helen ' it's ok.... '

Helen ' what looks more dodgy, sleep in the hut or when we get out of here go camping ... '

Paul ' when we get out.. no one knows ... '

Helen '  I'im gonna sleep in the den, but I dont wanna on my own ... '

Paul but what is big G gonna think about that..

Helen ' I dunno....... '

Helen ' what if we said... um..... don't......... '

Paul ' why are you sleeping in there on your own ... '

Helen ' scared Paul ... '

Helen ' Brians an arse for not sleeping in there with us ... he's being an arse in he ...  come on Paul .. '

Helen ' you could sleep in the on your own couldn't you ... '

Paul '  yeah ' 

Helen '  well........ '

Helen ' I think if my mother was watching it she'd wonder why I was sleeping in the den with just Paul ... '

Paul ' whats your frame of mind.. is it that big g's out here & he's been up to some thing so fuck him.. or what is it.. '

Helen '  way I look at it is it's a long time for someone to go isn't it 8 weeks.. oh I dunno.. it's complicated.. but I haven't done anything wrong.. I am a model girlfriend.. do you believe me.. '

Paul '  I believe you.. '

00.44am

Paul '  ok this is what I'm thinking.. am I allowed to tell you what I'm thinking.. '

Helen '  no we're on national TV.. whisper it to me.. '

Helen '  We'll have a game of chinese whispers Paul!! you start! '

Helen '  you could be barking up the wrong tree couldn't you.. '

Paul '  could be...... '

01.00am

Paul '  why the first few weeks was it "Big G" "Big G" "Big G" "Big G" .. you haven't got an answer to that have you.. '

Helen ' no '

Paul '  I think it's cos you've come from Wales.. '

Helen ' Do you think that makes me all innocent !! '

Paul '  no.. you came here on your own.. and you were just trying to remind yourself there was someone there.. '

Helen '  do you think I've gone a full circle.. or a semi circle.. do you think I'm a weird girl then ? '

Paul '  no no weird.. '

Helen '  you don't think they know what were talking about do you.. you know BB '

Paul '  they do.. '

Helen '  NO REALLY!!.. We could be talking about anything! .. anything in the world!! '

Helen '  now do you understand about the hut?? I want to.. do you know what I mean? '

Paul '  no, you've got to sort it out.. sort out all of your old ground first haven't you.. '

Helen '  yeah... ' < sighs >

Boogie Nights

00.21am

Brian is pretending to film Paul & Helen in the hot tub in a porn movie.

Brian ' Hi, I'll be filming you tonight, and your name is ? '

Paul ' Brock Landers ... '

Brian ' and your name ? '

Helen < longpause > ' I don't know '

Paul ' Pussy Galore. '

Liar

22.06pm

Paul ' Did anyone here watch the american Big Brother '

all ' no '

Paul ' Does anyone here know who presented the American BB '

All ' no '

Paul ' would you believe me if I told you the reason I was in America last year was that I presented the american Big Brother. '

Helen ' squeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll OH MY GOD PAULLL!!!!!!!!! '

All ' no '

Paul  ' course I didn't ! '

Bad Girl

22.02

Betty has just admitted she was in the final 12 contestants to be chosen for last years BB ... BB had told her not to discuss this ... she had to re-apply this year. Isn't that like an evictionable offence ?

Maybe Baby

All talking about Paul having a kid ... teasing him ... he hasn't then.

Dean ' I have ... '

All ' you haven't !! '

Dean ' I have ... got married at 19 until I was 23 ... '

Helen ' Dean I don't believe you ... '

Dean ' not with my wife, with the Danish one ... '

Helen ' I don't believe you! you don't have a kid ! '

Dean ' of course I don't ! look at you lot !..' '

Brunch

12.15pm

Betty whilst cooking the vegetarian omelette ( Flatulence guaranteed ) managed to segue Bowies ' Life on Mars' into a spirited version of  ' A Few of my favorite Things '  from the sound of music ... oh god spare me ... that led into ' Edelweiss ' ... ack! and now ' Summertime.. ' NO! now it's ' Caravan of Love '  by the Beautiful South ... how much is this woman missing Radio 2. ?!?! ...