|
when you:
say 'for f*cks sake grandma, don't you realise its eviction night' on the phone
wake 30 mins early "to see if housemates up"..
buy same food as housemates for "authentic experience.."
produce fan sites for individual housemates (rather than observational content like this of course)
turn down a date with someone you've fancied for MONTHS just so you can watch an eviction, and then wonder why they look at you oddly when you scream 'of course i can't TAPE IT !'
tape over your flatmates porn collection with big bro 'special moments'
time visits to parents / supermarkets / beershop etc.. to co-incide with bb "quiet time" ie sunbathing sessions or task practice..
have "large wager" at william hill on winner..
don't download stuff or instant message anyone or pick up your email when you're online incase it 'uses up your BB watching bandwidth'
spend all your time in the BB chatroom talking to other sad bastards about the size of Ms Housemates breasts or arse. ( Beware - hoping for sexual activity, on camera or off, is what THEY want you to do. resist. be pure be vigilant ). ( Note girls won't tend to discuss the bloke size thing, this is due to post traumatic stress, after viewing one of the housemates last series, cough A cough)
confine your non BB activity to those times when all housemates are sleeping, ( tho your dedication will be rewarded with insight ).
|
