:: fluffy mules :: Neck-Beards

Neck-Beards

by Sam

What is this ugly piece of jewelry I keep seeing people wearing? It is worn choker-style, a piece of wire or thread, with feathers or little rows of beads hanging down.

It looks like nothing more than a novelty beard, the sort you hook behind your ears to frighten toddlers or avoid that bothersome ex-boyfriend. The thing being, these strange necklaces are the novelty beard that slipped - which is why I think of them as neck-beards.

A 'stylist' (I use the term loosely as she didn't seem to have any relation to style) in the recent BBC2 series 'Would Like to Meet' drew my attention to these bizarre accessories as she persisted in wearing one for several weeks running. Then, because I knew about them, I started noticing them on women in the street. I want to run up to them and shout 'stop! don't wear that neck beard!' But of course I don't. Their bad taste is their own business.

Neck beards don't seem to serve much of a purpose: they are not attractive and they even look cheap so no-one is going to envy either your taste or your consumer-power. We can all thank our stars it is the season for diamantes and pearls. Put down that neck beard and embrace your shiny things instead.

By Sam