Single to be successful

Do you have to be single to be successful ? - by Helen

So he gets the job of his dreams, the chance to set up his own company. He warns you that it will take up a lot of his time and energy and he'll need a lot of support from you. But it's the one chance at making it rich while he's still young and it won't be this full on for ever. Starting a new company is always demanding in the beginning. You say that's fine, that you'll help him out anyway you can and are happy to take on a supporting role.

You'd expect the same thing if you were in his position and you'd get it wouldn't you?

It funny how when the tables are turned most men react in a very different way. They may make all the right noises about how proud they are of you but things often turn out very different. Even the reasonable, enlightened ones still have problems with getting their head around the fact that you earn more money than them even though they won't admit it.

Women are going further than they ever have, running multinational organisations, in Government, flying high. So why is it that the people who should care about us the most feel they have to keep our feet on the ground?

Bit by bit the jealousy can set, in and in subtle ways. They still expect you to be who you were before and it takes a real man to adjust to the change in the power balance.

Sarcasm is a first sign that things aren't as rosy as you think. To be fair if you get so wrapped up in your new life that all you talk about is work then you won't be much fun to around. You'll run the risk of boring your friends but at first you have to throw yourself into it 100%.

If you're in a relationship it's vital you address things as soon as you accept your new job, keep communicating and make sure you take time out for him and your friends. You'll feel pulled in all sorts of ways in how you spend your precious free time and may forget to take some time out for yourself.

If your not getting the support you need just think, would he get it if the roles were reversed? You need to remember that you are on a path and sometimes people get left behind.

So some tips with coping with climbing the career ladder:

Take time out for yourself. You'll be surprised how easily you can let that slide trying to fit everyone in.

Talk to your boyfriend and let him know what you'll need from him, find out what he may want from you and work out a way that you both get it. It will only work if you both want it to.

Let all your friends know that you may drop out of circulation while you are readjusting to your new life. True friends will not nag you to go out on a school night, but make sure you go out with them at least once a month for a blow out. All work and no play....

If things do get tense in your relationship and you can't talk it through don't feel guilty about your job ruining things. You have a right to be successful as much as he does and don't ever forget that.

None of us want to end up successful yet single but it sure beats being single in an unfulfilling low paid job. So go for it girl. You may find someone at the top of that ladder that is even better than the one you left at the bottom. And as for me - well I'll be enjoying my new found singledom in Rome. Could there be a better place....

Helen