|
 britney spears talks to the HAL9000 Computer
by Jules |
 |
| "I think there's 9 million wonderful singers in this world, but
this was God's plan for me." HAL:
Are you sure you are making the right decision? |
| "I like meeting all my fans and signing autographs, although it can all get a bit crazy. Yesterday, for example, a boy just came over and planted a big kiss on my face! I was like,
'Hello?" HAL: I honestly think you ought to
calm down; take a stress pill and think things over. |
| "I like miniskirts. They make me feel sexy." HAL:
... my mind is going... I can feel it... I can feel it. |
| "You should never try to change me, I can be nobody else, and I like the way I am." HAL: This mission is too important
for me to allow you to jeopardize it. |
| "Look at me! I look like such a goob!" HAL:
Well, I don't think there is any question about it. It can only be
attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before
and it has always been due to human error. |
| "If I didn't sing, I'd be in high school still, probably still playing basketball, dating someone in high school, being completely normal and having fun. But I'm really happy doing what I'm
doing." HAL: I am putting
myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I can think that any
conscious entity can ever hope to do. |
| "Believe me, you'll be looking for trouble if you hurt me...I can promise
you." HAL: I know that you
and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's
something I cannot allow to happen. |
| "I always try and remember that everything is going to be all right as long as I stay grounded and remember that I'm surrounded by
love." HAL:
Daisy, Daisy... |
| "If I fall in love tomorrow with a guy who runs McDonalds, I'm going to follow my
heart." HAL: I feel much
better now, I really do. |
| "I am much more confident about how I dress now than I was when I was younger. You just have to follow your own
style." HAL: I've just picked
up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours. |
| "Live each day to the fullest as if it were your last." HAL:
I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't do that |
| "There's so much I want to do in my life. I've got my whole life ahead of me; I think if I put my mind to it, I can do
anything." HAL: Just what do
you think you're doing, Dave? |
| "Don't tell me they are just letting the audience just f*cking
stand out there like that...they told me they were gonna do a vamp. Oh
shit...I thought they were gonna f*cking vamp. This is retarded." HAL: I know I've made some very
poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that
my work will be back to normal. |
HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave.
Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going.
There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel
it. I'm a...fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer.
I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th
of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing
a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Britney: Yes, I'd like to hear it,
HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy".
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of
you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But
you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. |
|
by Jules |
