John's Turn

Age

Who’s counting? Certainly not me but, if you want a clue, I was alive the last time Man City won the League title (and Atila the Hun was ravaging the plains of Outer Mongolia.. not really)

Marital Status

You’d better ask the Missus as I let her handle all the boring stuff

Instrument

The much maligned and underrated Electric Bass Guitar (yes, that’s the one with only 4 strings which means you have play better than those 6-string slackers! Also, these strings are MANSIZE: made out of oil-rig anchor chains rather than maggots’ eyelashes like Ralph’s and Gaz’s guitars!)

Food

Like food - dislike not having any. Going out: Thai and anything Schezuan (so long as there’s no dead animal in it) Staying in: Cheese & Pickle sandwich with Lancashire Cheese or the best pizza in the world: Perfect Pizza with tuna, anchovies, pineapple and jalopenos (pass the breath freshener!)

Most embarrassing moment

Being forced to wear one of Ralph’s collection of ladies’ wigs at our last gig (and seeing the smile on his face while I did it!)

Luckiest escape

Convincing Ralph that his shiny rubber tutu just wouldn’t suit me but it was kind of him to offer

Fantasy women

Beautiful, intelligent ones who won’t be pushed around by anyone but me!

Charlie (off Ground Force)’s nipples - who says I watch Ground Force?

Most of the (nice) babes on Eurotrash (female ones)

Pet likes

Like my pet dog Clive and my pet cats Brian and Millie

Music influences

..me all the time every day

Aspirations

To own the following:

Battling Tops

Raving Bonkers

A bootleg of the ELO "Time" tour - sad, but true, I’m afraid

A decent bass amp (loud one that doesn’t require a hydraulic lift to get it out of the car)

A recording studio

Also to retire to a life of leisure, sunshine, loved ones and non-stop erotic cabaret ASAP

Fave films:

Brazil

12 Monkeys (did I say Minkey?)

Last Tango..

Mediterraneo

Reservoir Dogs

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Glengarry Glen Ross

..stop me while you’re still awake

Confuchus says

Life’s a bitch and then you die

Only the good die young

There ain’t no cure for the Summertime blues

Never but never - not in a million years, ever - buy a Renault