Run 898 - Russells Water
Run: 898
Date: Sunday, 1 November 2009
Venue: Five Horseshoes, Russells Water
Hare(s): CS Gas
Hounds: Pressganger, Traction Engine, Turn-ups, Eric, Wooden Spoon, Fortune Hunter, Gatecrasher, Cabbage Patch, Fiddler's Elbow, Big Stiffy, Wind Action, Ash Handle, Pyro, Nit-picker, Gnome Alone, Whispa, Meg, Cloud Cuckoo, Ecstasy, Squishy Bits
Scribe: Gnome Alone
The fine Autumnal weather really broke with a vengeance upon us today, with strong wind and a steady rain adding to the night’s deluge. The overnight blow had taken most of the last leaves from the woods, carpeting the roads with auburn dapples, a veritable kaleidoscope of colour (sorry about the lyrical waxing – it must be the endorphins produced by checking every downhill false on the trail). CS Gas had been wondering if anyone would turn up, and with the head count steady at four Pressganger and Eric were contemplating the warmth of the pub instead of slogging away in mud and fallen leaf. To be honest, we all had the same thought, and I’m sure I heard a “damn it!” when the next hasher pulled into the car park. We sheltered under the overhang of Pressganger's tail gate for a while but were coaxed out of our dry spot (and musings on log fires) by CS Gas's brief briefing. We were pleased to hear that he had cut out a loop and, more importantly, laid it this morning since anything on Saturday would have been obliterated. He was beautifully attired in water-proof trousers, high-vis safety jacket and cowboy hat. Future hares please note the level to which elegant hash attire has been taken (Note – I didn’t say “risen”). All hares over the year should required to duplicate their trail laying sartorial style at the summer BBQ and with a prize awarded for the most errr – naff. Nah, forget it, CS Gas wouldn’t find it much of a competition. However, I shouldn't stop at CS Gas in this section of the trash because others also deserve mention. Pyro was in complete hunter’s green water-proofs, I could just imagine a little rubber at ankle, wrist and neck and she would have been able to safely and dryly extract Whispa from the green scum pond. But she wasn't and she didn't have to. And Big Stiffy was hashing in jeans, that's a first; and he said he wouldn't be running because he had a big stiffy, but then he would wouldn't he?
The “out” was away from the pub (to our dismay) and went across Russell’s Water Common. Has there been a more appropriate day to hash from this pub? Or, indeed, a more appropriately named location for a trail? “Yeah – Christmas Common” I hear you cry in unison. Anyway, we ended up in Doyley Wood on a nice little loop back trail past some spectacular beeches with ultra dense mats of twigs covering their lower extremities so that they looked as though their roots had come out to play. Fairly soon we were back on the Common on the far side of Maidensgrove and headed towards Warburg Nature Reserve but then looped back to the left instead of the right (it should have been a clockwise trail but the cunning hare had laid a figure of eight). There were an excessive number of checks at the top of hills and some idiot always went down them, to the degree that “On Back!” always seemed to sound like “On Back Gnome!” Hashing downhill through shiggy looks so much prettier when the mud is covered with a layer of golden beech leaves…. A beech of a trail. We were even presented with a pretty little (that’s a figure of speech, it was large) pond that was split down the middle, half green and half clear water with a dead straight demarcation line down the middle. Of course one of them had to go in, was it Whispa or Pyro? You already know if you have been paying attention, wonderful paddling action Pyro. The ON INN was a welcome sight and the two fires in the pub even more so – despite the fact that you couldn’t see one of them for Big Stiffy trying to dry out his jeans. Eric was musing on the French for “wet” in the pub (must have been daydreaming about what spell to inflict on the Nice runners) – well, there are various options depending upon verb, noun or adjective. “Humidité” doesn’t really seem to cut it, “pluie” sounds good, but the one that seems most appropriate is “faire pipi”. It did faire pipi.
Thanks for a nice trail CS Gas – a wayward trail I would call it, since we were on Shakespeare's Way, Chiltern Way and Oxfordshire Way onon the way. And, despite the emphasis on water in this trash we did see some flicker of sunshine a couple of times, and we hounds only got wet once – unlike the hare. Would we call that a good turn out for the conditions? They would where Cloud Cuckoo comes from.
Gnome Alone
(Note from the Web Meister Extraordinaire - who though not with you, got saturated just as much, if not more - I'm impressed with your verbosity, Gnome Alone. Want a job?)